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............./ / THE LEGENDARY TIMES
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....../ /_____/__/__../ \_\ /./ /__../ /.../ /./ /_/ /
...../ Celebrating / /./ /./ /./ /.../ /./ /
..../ our 10th year /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
.../________________/ running on mud.legendmud.org 9999
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
VOLUME TWELVE, NUMBER TWO January 23, 2005
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

TABLE OF CONTENTS
The Editor's Note

NEWS, REPORTS, UPDATES
Calendar of Events
Recent Updates
News From the Whips and Chains Department

LEGENDITES
Lost and Found

CLAN NEWS
The Kingdom of Carian Trag Forms
Clans Disbanding Because of Purged Members
Ever Wonder What Makes a Good Bard?
Bard Of Avon Calling

PK Front

The Death Of the Divine Bull (Part II)
An Assassin's War
Werewolf
___ ___
\ |-------------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| The Editor's Note |__\
'-------------------------------------------------------------'

The Expies are coming! The Expies are coming!

The Expies are our annual award ceremony, with candidates nominated
and voted on by the players of LegendMUD. They are generally held
around the mud's birthday, February 14th. For more info and a list of
past winners, please visit our Expies page at:
http://www.legendmud.org/Community/expie.php

A common desire around Expies time is to campaign for or against a
particular person, to sway the number of votes in a particular
direction. Messages along the lines of "Vote for <person> for
<category>" may not be seen on channels, in board posts, notes left
on the ground, or in illusions.

Campaigning for the Expies is not allowed and nominees will be
removed from the ballot as a result of campaigning.

So it's time to flip through the post-it notes and brush the cobwebs
off our collective memories and think about who and what to nominate
for the 2004 awards when the nomination ballots come out.

We'll also be running our annual "Valentine's Wishes" section, so be
sure to send in a short note to be included for either your loved
ones, or your despised ones... Both Red and Black Valentines are
always welcome in our mailbox or via the submission form.

Have a great week and please take a few minutes to cast your votes
for LegendMUD at TopMudSites.com and MudConnector.com.

-Kaige
___ ___
\ |-------------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| LegendMUD Calendar of Events |__\
'-------------------------------------------------------------'
[All times are system time unless otherwise specified]

JANUARY FEBRUARY
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
1 1 2 3 4 5
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
9 10 11 12 13 14 15 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
16 17 18 19 20 21 22 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
23 24 25 26 27 28 29 27 28
30 31

Sunday, January 23rd, 2pm-10pm PK BattleZone * NEW DAY *
(HELP BATTLEZONE for more information)
4:00 pm Recalltag
Monday, January 24th, 10:00 pm Expies-themed Flaghunt
Thursday, January 27th, 7:30 pm Q&A in the OOC Auditorium
Sunday, January 30th, 2pm-10pm PK BattleZone
4:00 pm Trivia Challenge w/LadyAce

Subscribe via iCal or view the calendar with any browser.
___ ___
\ |-------------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| Recent Updates |__\
'-------------------------------------------------------------'

/\ CODE UPDATES
/ \
/ \ MISC CHANGES:
/_ _\ o New backscroll command.
| | o AFK buffers save over rent.
| |
| | BUG FIXES:
|__| o Mobs shouldn't be performing their activities
/\ repeatably in a short interval.
/ \ o Weather messages won't repeat twice.
/ \ o Fishing fixed.
/_ _\ o Color bleed problems fixed.
| | o Wall of thorns and similar defensive spells movement
| | effect only happen if you can move out of the room.
| | o DASH no longer exceeds room occupancy limits.
|__| o Killing something else in the room no longer stops
/\ current fights.
/ \ o Gun misfires/jams ruins aim as does exploding weapons.
/ \
/_ _\
| | HELPFILE UPDATES
| |
| | There were no help files updated recently.
|__|
/\
/ \ AREA UPDATES
/ \
/_ _\ If you want to suggest specific improvements or new
| | additions to existing areas please don't hesitate to
| | submit them with the idea/bug/typo commands or drop
| | mudmail to the builder currently responsible for the area
|__| (check AREAINFO to find out!).
/\
/ \ Thanks to everyone that submitted bug/typo/idea reports!
/ \
/_ _\ Generic Horses no longer know the climb skill by default.
| |
| | ANCIENT CARTHAGE
| | Fixes the exploit that allowed players to get
|__| infinite bronze neck guards. Also moves that item
/\ from ANTI_NEUTRAL to ANTI_GOOD for balance purposes.
/ \
/ \ ANCIENT EGYPT
/_ _\ The medjay guard teaching acts fixed. Various minor
| | bugs and typos fixed.
| |
| | ARABIAN NIGHTS
|__| Slight rent fix on assassin's robes.
/\
/ \ BENGAL
/ \ Fix for when the bengal tiger kills someone and
/_ _\ handler still thought he was fighting.
| |
| | BOSTON and SALEM
| | Makes the bows repairable.
|__|
/\ CASABLANCA
/ \ Housing zones defined so you can build here. Various
/ \ minor bugs fixed.
/_ _\
| | FRENCH INDIAN WAR
| | Moose and wapiti can no longer climb trees.
| |
|__| THE OOC
/\ Waiter should tell you what is available instead of
/ \ "You can't buy any thing here." Various little
/ \ suggestions added.
/_ _\
| | SEONI JUNGLE
| | Fix for the young wolves getting stuck at the river.
| | Various minor bugs fixed.
|__|
/\ SHERWOOD
/ \ You can now buy and play darts at Ye Olde Trip to
/ \ Jerusalem. Various minor bug fixes.
/_ _\
| | TORTUGA
| | Ambushed DT is now NO_MOB. Great white shark has
| | reactions to being shot.
|__|
/\ THE ALHAMBRA, CELTIC IRELAND, THE CRUSADES, HOSPITALLER
/ \ MALTA, LEGENDS OF THE PAST, PITTSBURGH, PORT OF LONDON,
/ \ ROMAN BRITAIN, ROMANIA and VICEROYAL LIMA
/_ _\ Various minor bugs fixed.
| |
| | In Progress Area Updates
| |
|__| This section is intended to share what builders are
/\ working on behind the scenes. It is not a perfect record
/ \ of progress as all builders do not commit updates every
/ \ week. Badgering builders about their progress will get
/_ _\ you flogged.
| |
| | Kaige El Dorado
| | Nestor Antebellum Lousiana
|__| Rufus Shadowlands Expansion
___ ___
\ |-------------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| News From the Whips and Chains Department |__\
'-------------------------------------------------------------'
,____
|---.\ January's live purge script run seems to have
___ | ` gone successfully, with little of the headaches
/ .-\ ./=) that exploded into existance when we first
| |"|_/\/| changed to the new pfile directory system.
; |-;| /_|
/ \_| |/ \ | We would also like to thank everyone who has
/ \/\( | been patient with the admins who have had to
| / |` ) | dig out characters that have been purged.
/ \ _/ |
/--._/ \ | The scripts will run again on February 1st, so
`/|) | / be sure to log in and check on any characters
/ | | you don't play frequently or haven't archived
.' | | for their protection. Archiving characters is
/ \ | generally safer if you're going to be gone for
(_.-.__.__./ / a while as if you let a character purge, anyone
can remake a character with that name. So be
safe, and archive your character for safekeeping.

Each month, we have been trying to feature one of the rules from HELP
RULES. This month is no different. The inspiration for this month's
feature rule is because of a small rise in warnings given for
violation of our language rules.

3. Sexually explicit language, cursing, and slurs are not permitted
over public channels -- like chat, auction, info, and clan
channels -- or in other public forums like warcrys, illusions,
character names/titles, and boards; such language may be
prohibited even in private communication to the extent it amounts
to harassment. (See HELP LANGUAGE).

We don't keep this rule in place because we dislike profanity but
because its use leads to worse abuse and we are after all a mud that
tries to cater to all ages of players. Many parents wouldn't like to
see their children subjected to the language that is possible and
present on other online games. LegendMUD tries to maintain a clean
public channels image and we appreciate your help in this effort.
___ ___
\ |-------------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World |__\
'-------------------------------------------------------------'

Kastina has reached 600 million experience!
Kargan has reached 100 million experience!
Primal has reached 100 million experience!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Lost and Found

Many years ago I was told by Abbot Suger to seek out knowledge in the
lands we reside in. The abbot in his infinite wisdom took me aside
and told me in order to find my family I must embrace religion, and
thus it began...

It was years later that I became a quiet country priest, and ventured
forward into the world. I have traveled through many adventures and
fought many battles for the greater good of the lands that we live
in, and yet never had I found any mention of any family

Distraught and disheartened, I returned to the wise Abbot. I pleaded
with him to tell me what I have forgotten about my past, who was my
family, why the only one I had cared about was taken, but to no avail
my queries had fallen on deaf ears, or dead rather. In the fury of my
inquisition of the dear departed abbot I had slain him.

Quickly fleeing the scene I visited the pardoner with whom I repented
for my grievous sin. As we spoke this poor old man related to me a
story of my coming to the abbey, and told me to seek out the lands of
kestrels and sidhe.

Kestrels and sidhe, kestrels and sidhe, I know I had seen them before
but where, and when together...

I left the lands for a time for fear of my life that someone may
discover my crime. It was months that I searched for those forgotten
shores, I had begun to lose hope. It was then that I was attacked by
a whale, and shipwrecked upon the shores of the Isle of Man.

When I awoke from my ordeal I found myself in a chamber which was
open to the sky, I could see the stars whirling overhead...I forgot
all when she spoke, or rather spoke in my head for she was but a
spirit. This beautiful apparition presented herself before me, I
asked her for help, but when she spoke her voice was so pure of note
and spirit it sent me reeling into unconsciousness.

I dreamed, I dreamed of days I had long forgotten, of my family, my
father Cairpre Mac Oghma the Bard, my mother Etan ni'Diancecht, I saw
the slaughter of my family, the injuries I received, and the loss of
my brothers... My brothers they were taken... Just then I awoke. Or
rather I was awakened by the spirit before me, she seemed to float
aloft. I was bade to rise, and she spoke, as before, in my head and my
heart so only I could hear.

Her words shook me from head to toe, 'What you have seen here this day
Arturo is the one truth, your truth. You are Arturo Mac Cairpre, your
father was Cairpre Mac Oghma, you must seek out your brethren go
forth from this place and find your brothers, and let it be known to
yourself and the world that you are no longer just a Quiet country
priest, but will henceforth be known as you should Father Arturo Mac
Cairpre.'

A wandering priest quietly prays for your soul. The spirit then let
out a terrible shout, and again I was sent reeling into
unconsciousness.

I later awoke with the vivid memory of this embossed upon my soul and
with a new drive, to find my brothers Turenn and Delbaeth.

Arturo will no longer be known as:

ShortDescr a quiet country priest
LongDescr A wandering priest quietly prays for your soul.

However, he shall now be referred to as:

ShortDescr Father Arturo Mac Cairpre
LongDescr A wandering priest quietly prays for your soul.

___ ___
\ |--------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| Clan News |__\
'--------------------------------------------------------'

The Kingdom of Carian Trag Forms

Queen MoiraGwyn officially formed the clan on January 21, 2005.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Clans Disbanding Because of Purged Members

The Hermetic Order, The Knights of the Temple, the IRA, and the Union
of Protagonists were all disbanded on Tuesday, January 11th, due to
low membership.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Ever Wonder What Makes a Good Bard?

Introduction by Eretz,

The Bards, one of LegendMUD's most historic clans, has its own
character. We are musicians, artists, and writers, dancers and
singers, poets and philosophers -- a very diverse band of people --
tied together by a common loyalty and devotion to a creative
interpretation of our endeavor: not only to build a world safe for
decent folk, but also a world well worth inhabiting.

What kind of a player makes a good Bard? The kind who reads Kant
while bashing a sailor; who listens to the Beatles while beating up
the abbot; who enjoys fine food and wine at any of Legendmud's superb
eating establishments, and who is courteous enough to junk his mugs.

Having the great honor of taking leadership of this clan, I am
endeavoring to be worthy of this task. I should stress here that
membership in the Bards is non-discriminatory, open to those of every
hometown, alignment and specialization -- mages and warriors;
Arabians and Peruvians; the good and the evil; the armored and the
unarmored.

The traditional task of the Bards has been to help newbies, to
gather information, and to help each other.

HELPING NEWBIES
Under this program, called "Bard of Avon Calling," all Bards are
encouraged to greet newbies and to help them.

Advice, however, can be restricted to verbal assistance. The
information given should be pertinent to the level of the
newbie. Bards are not required to get anything or kill anything
for newbies.

Although Bards are happy to give information to all players, no
individual Bard is required to respond to all requests. In a
very tiny number of cases, data is classified and to be given
only within the clan. Bards are forbidden to charge for
information.

We also carry a supply of basic maps for hometowns.
Information-gathering is conducted by the Bard Intelligence
Agency (BIA) and distributed by the Bard of Education.

HELP EACH OTHER
A Bard is pledged to assist other clan members in gaining
information and equipment; to rush to their assistance if needed
to reclaim corpses or defend them from attack. Please note
that--like other clans--we help non-members a great deal, too.
The important thing is a real commitment to go out of one's way,
sacrificing time and xp, to assisting others.

PEACE AND LOVE
The Bards are neutral in inter-clan conflicts, urging all
players to concentrate on the real enemy: the mobile menace. Let
us go forward and upward to create a better Legend world!

SOUND GOOD?
See your local Bard recruiter today! We require you to complete
a special quest for membership.

MAKE HISTORY! BE A BARD!

Father Arturo Mac Cairpre Guild Master Order of the Scroll

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Bard Of Avon Calling

Ever wonder where the innkeeper is in an area, or who the banker
might be, or what the best way to get to Tara from the Druid
compound might be? If your a newbie, or lowbie or even a forgetful
oldbie looking for some assistance dial up your local "Bard of Avon".

The Order of the Scroll has re-launched the friendly neighbourhood
Bard program, we will do our best to help you answer your questions.
We may even be able to help you along the way!

Father Arturo O'Cairpre
GM Order of The Scroll.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

There are currently 16 RP clans and 3 PK clans. This leaves open
slots for thirteen (13) more clans to form. For more information,
read HELP CLAN and see the clan information list via the CLANS
command while logged into the game. For a basic handbook and
reference guide for players interested in starting and running a
clan, we recommend that before you even type FORM, you visit:
http://www.legendmud.org/Reference/gm.html.
___ ___
\ |--------------------------------------------------------| /
/__| PK Front |__\
'--------------------------------------------------------'

If you witness or commit any glorious or nefarious deeds, send a
short report to us at the LT. If you are looking for a fight,
recruiting, or anything else related to PKill (not necessarily PK
Clan related), send it in! It's free AND you'll get a prize token! Be
a celebrity, the envy of all your friends! Tick off your enemies or
just tell your side of the story! Get YOUR name up in lights! We
can't report it if you don't tell us!

_______________________
/ \
o O | Wonder what folks are |
`\|||/ | doing over at LegendMUD?|
(o o) \_______________________/
ooO_(_)_Ooo__________________________________________________________
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|___
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|

The Death Of the Divine Bull (Part II)

We traveled east for days, feasting on the bounty of the ocean. I had
never seen fish of so many forms. Finally, after many days, the
current turned southward and we were swept through a beautiful land.
Gazing idly out of the boat, I saw reeds and mud forming a shoreline,
and above was a brilliant sky, looming and vast in an
all-encompassing way. Soon things began to change, and we saw land.

All around us was a vast mind-boggling quantity of sand. The sun beat
down relentlessly on my body, turning it a brilliant shade of red,
and my companion began to pant and drool. I knew that with all his
heavy fur, if I didn't cool him off soon he would die. After what
seemed like hours of walking, the ground began to moisten. Soon we
found ourselves back on the vast ocean. Scooping handfuls of water, I
poured them over his body until he again breathed easy.

As we turned north the land finally began to look familiar, and on
the 30th night, I saw home. An overwhelming sadness filled me as my
journey seemed to be coming to an abrupt end. I let the bull into my
cave, and lie down to finally, and deeply, sleep.

I awoke in my darkness, content and yet disturbed. Something was
missing. As I searched the blackness, I found the sacred bull was no
longer at my side. Alarmed I went to the mouth of the cave and gazed
out at the world. Standing there I realized that I was distraught,
but not because my captive had escaped, but because my, now dear,
friend had gone astray.

The sun had hardened us. The world had beaten at us, and sapped our
strength, and the ocean had tried to inter us in her eternal
blackness. Yet, through it all, we remained, and now with the noble
beast missing, I felt more alone than when no other creature but
myself existed. Then, suddenly, relief.

There he was, standing on a far off hilltop, grazing. He looked
radiant standing on that hilltop, the sun glistening on him. To me,
he looked nobler than ever before. I stepped forward to greet him,
and it came. I heard the voice of the sun commanding me.

I continued on, yet not for the reason I had intended. I felt my hand
wrap around the same knife I have used on that first beast, on the
night that I had first captured my friend. He did not see my
approach, and when I was put a few paces from him, by sheer will, I
stopped myself. I tried to resheath my weapon, but found I could not.
From above came a voice, which commanded me, 'You will slay this
beast because you are mine, and so is it.'

Weeping, I took the last few paces between the bull and myself. I
quickly slide the glistening blade across the tender flesh of his
throat. The blood slicked my hand and mixed with my tears. Unable to
cry out the bull slumped to the ground. Eyes uncomprehending and with
infinite pain, he looked at me in wonder. As his life poured out in a
puddle at my feet, I entered a state of despondency.

Again, I was utterly alone.

As his life force was absorbed into the earth, an amazing thing took
place. Great grape vines sprung forth, covering the land with a dark
green promise of abundance. Tall stalks of nobly bending wheat swayed
gently in the wind. From his groin all manner of animals sprung
forth, and scattered in the 4 directions. Some were graceful, softly
covered in fur. Other had large horns and antlers. Yet, others were
small, and quick. I was amused to see some begin digging at the
ground and quickly burrowing deep to hide from fiercer creatures. In
this new wilderness came a great roar causing all to scatter.

The words echoed loudly from each rock and mountaintop.

'I have called you my son, to be my voice. To bring the masses unto
me. There shall be 13 in your number and the mighty shall tremble
before you and know that I am all'

Thus was the death of the divine bull, and the beginning of my
eternal peaceless journey.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

An Assassin's War

He was a leader of an invasion force to cleanse the Holy Land of the
assassins. He had at his disposal an army to rival any other, and
still he was having trouble sleeping. He could not trust the 12 elite
guards outside his tent enough to fall asleep. Ever since he had
heard that the most skilled assassins would be making attempts at his
life throughout their mission.

*THUMP*

A scream from outside, and the clatter of weapons. He rushed for his
blade, Rashid was not a helpless leader, in fact he was one of the
most skilled swordsman of his army. This would not be an easy
assassination to complete. He rushed outside to his guards to inquire
about the situation. The guards quickly explain that one of the
guards was knocked out by a blow dart and so they ordered the camp to
be scouted and formed a tighter perimeter around the camp and the
tent. This was the third night in a row one of his guards was stunned
with a blow dart. He returned to his tent and tried to relax.

He sat down and descended into deep thought, they were sending the
main assault tomorrow and he did not know what to expect. His scouts
have returned no information to him that was worth anything. They
said the Assassins had no defenses or traps set up, and assured him
it would be an easy victory for his untarnished carrier as a general.
Yet he was not so foolish as his scouts, he knew that the assassins
never fight a direct war, and he knew that they would fight the most
deadly and ruthless guerilla war any of his men had ever seen. He
also knew that the assassins have everything to fight for as the army
has stopped their flow of hashish trade.

A draft went across his face, his hair getting into his eyes. It took
him a moment to realize that a draft could only come through an
opening in the tent, and the door was on his other side. Just as he
saw the place where his tent was cut he felt cold metal on his
neck...

'Say nothing, make no sound,' a dark figure warned in a soft whisper.

Rashid felt cold sweat on his forehead, he was stunned at the
incompetency of his personal guard and vowing to kill each one of
them if he survives this ordeal. He noticed his sword was close to
his left hand, and he was just as good with his left hand ass with
his right. The assassin spoke again, 'We have heard about your plans
to attack our dwelling, rest assured you forces do not stand a
chance.'

He was too proud to beg for his life, and too proud to attempt a
bribe, so he did the bravest thing he could think of, he yelled
'ASSASSI...'.

*THUMP*

Rashid's body hit the floor, blood quickly gushing out of his wound.
He had signalled his guards, hoping the assassin will soon meet him
in the afterlife.

The guards quickly filled the room but were delayed by the sight of
their dead leader. They soon sounded the alarm that an assassin was
in the camp, the exits were sealed. Unfortunately for them, the
assassin was dressed as one of the soldiers in the army, and before
they sealed it he had left the camp, but not after 2 more unexpecting
soldiers were left dead.

As the assassin quickly traversed the terrain into the night, faster
than any man could by day, he knew that tomorrow his Master would
reward him because he has already won him a great victory.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Werewolf

With the promise of a story about assassination, lies and mob
hysteria seven friends gather in the Klein graveyard in the dead of
night. A cute little dead girl grins mischievously and opens a
professional-looking scrap book and begins to tell the story of a
village plagued by werewolves.

'Night falls and two villagers transform into werewolves and prowl
the village seeking out their next victim. The seer, also a villager,
stays up late waiting for a vision to help uncover the werewolves'
identity. Morning comes and alas a fair maiden's been discovered torn
apart by werewolves! Everyone gathers around trying to figure out who
the werewolves are and lynch them avenging the fair maiden's death
and saving the village.

The baker eyes his fellow villagers wondering which ones are the
werewolves. Assembled around the fair maiden's body with him are the
clever Ritter, the shepherd's daughter, the cute witchling, and
everyone's uncle.

'So, who's the werewolf?' The baker says. 'Let's lynch...the clever
Ritter!' The baker always wants to lynch the Ritter.

The clever Ritter says, 'I believe the baker jumped the gun early
this time.' The witchling has noticed too and raises an eyebrow.

Everyone's uncle says, 'Apparently the seer saw nothing or has chosen
to keep silent.'

'As a Ritter I know who's good or evil, and the baker is clearly
evil!!!' The Ritter says.

The baker gasps at a Ritter. 'The nerve of you, to insult my honor!'

Everyone's uncle says, 'I think the baker should get the axe this
time.'

'You must be a werewolf!' The baker says to the Ritter. 'J'accuse!'

'I think that's a particularly bad idea ;)' The baker says to
everyone's uncle.

'I trust the baker this time,' the witchling says.

The shepherd's daughter says, 'Sorry Ritter, I vote for you.'

And with that the votes were cast and the Ritter was lynched but
unfortunately they discover he is was just a villager and not a
werewolf.

Night starts to fall and the villagers retreat to their houses
fearful of getting mauled by werewlolves. The werewolves prowl the
village, the seer stays up late waiting for a vision and come morning
everyone's uncle has been discovered torn apart by werewolves!

The baker had a vision of a werewolf that night and says to the
witchling, 'THE SHEPHERD'S DAUGHTER is a werewolf! Let's lynch her
now!'

The witchling says with a big toothy werewolf grin, 'I believe she's
a werewolf. I think we should lynch you, baker.'

The shepherd's daughter throws her head back and cackles as the baker
realizes he's running out of options and begins bargaining for his
life. 'Umm.. with me on this one?' The baker pleads to the shepherd's
daughter.

'Who would I have to go marauding with if it weren't for her?' the
witchling says.

'Besides, I'm a seer.. I can help you later on!' The baker says to
the shepherd's daughter. 'You don't need him. Lynch him, then you can
devour me tonight. Why do you want another werewolf eating all your
prey?'

The witchling says, 'I don't eat much, actually.'

'But he's been good to me!' the shepherd's daughter says, 'He let me
chose my choice of everyone's uncle.'

The baker says, 'But I'm tasty...and I'm not all that good
pre-lynched. My vote is for the witchling'

'I vote the baker,' the witchling says.

The shepherd's daughter says, 'Yeah ok, lets lynch the witchling!' As
she ducks to the ground.

'My ghost shall haunt you!' The witchling vows and with that the
villagers lynch a werewolf.

Night falls again and the werewolf prowls the village seeking out her
next victim, the seer waits for a vision and in the morning the
baker, of course, was found torn apart. The end.' The cute little
dead girl snickers as she closes the book.

Uncle Chaykin (who has had no involvement in the writing of this
article) says, 'And then the shepherd's daughter dies of starvation!'

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Volume Twelve Issue Two - Revision history

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