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		<title>Mertjai: Created page with &quot; &lt;nowiki&gt; =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= .............._______ ............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES ............/...&quot;</title>
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		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Created page with &amp;quot; &amp;lt;nowiki&amp;gt; =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= .............._______ ............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES ............/...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
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..../                /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD&lt;br /&gt;
.../________________/       running on         mud.aus.sig.net 9999&lt;br /&gt;
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
VOLUME TWO, ISSUE THIRTY-EIGHT                         December 9, 1995&lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                     *****************************&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                       ...:/:[ CONTENTS ]:\:...&lt;br /&gt;
                     &lt;br /&gt;
                            *CODE UPDATES*&lt;br /&gt;
                            -Ancient India-&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                            *ANNOUNCEMENTS*&lt;br /&gt;
                            -Sadist Retires-&lt;br /&gt;
                              -A Contest-&lt;br /&gt;
                               -A Party-&lt;br /&gt;
                              -Archiving-&lt;br /&gt;
                           -Fund Drive Update-&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                            *SOCIAL EVENTS*&lt;br /&gt;
                      -Dusty's Response to Limerick-&lt;br /&gt;
                           -The Tale of Tad-&lt;br /&gt;
                  -A Visit from the Prince of Darkness-&lt;br /&gt;
  &lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address&lt;br /&gt;
at stevensj@ucsu.colorado.edu. Letters to the editor are welcomed.&lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                           CODE UPDATES&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
 * Fixes to vehicles and boats include the following:&lt;br /&gt;
   - The &amp;quot;forging through the waters&amp;quot; message has been limited to changes &lt;br /&gt;
     in terrain (so you won't see it everywhere you sail your boats)&lt;br /&gt;
   - Sitting on furniture no longer reminds you that you have a boat.&lt;br /&gt;
   - You can no longer give boats to people who already have one.   &lt;br /&gt;
 * Mounts can't be ridden in noswim rooms.&lt;br /&gt;
 * Messages for blocked hits were improved -- it should no longer look &lt;br /&gt;
   like you are not getting a turn to hit in some rounds.&lt;br /&gt;
 * The earthquake spell can now be targeted.&lt;br /&gt;
 * You can no longer remove items while fighting.&lt;br /&gt;
 * The room now gets a message when an elemental is summoned.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^&lt;br /&gt;
                     ANCIENT INDIA ARRIVES&lt;br /&gt;
 &lt;br /&gt;
Ancient India is now in!! Temporally located around 600 BC, it emcompasses &lt;br /&gt;
the end of the scholastic/brahmanic period. At that period (as in many &lt;br /&gt;
centuries to come), India was divided into various small poltical &lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;states&amp;quot; rather than being the single entity we know from the &lt;br /&gt;
post-British Empire period (however, it's hard to know too much about the &lt;br /&gt;
political make up of India at this time since the Indians didn't believe &lt;br /&gt;
in recording history until 800 AD). Located spatially just off the Red &lt;br /&gt;
Sea, the area includes the villages of Nadia and Patiliputra, and the &lt;br /&gt;
city of Bhimbhetka, as well as Ceylon, an island off the Indian Peninsula. &lt;br /&gt;
As Rufus, the creator, notes, there are many, many quests here (BTW, be sure &lt;br /&gt;
to congratulate Rufus on his promotion to IMM!).&lt;br /&gt;
                    &lt;br /&gt;
                      +|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|+|+&lt;br /&gt;
                        SADIST RETIRES&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
As many of you already know, Sadist, one of the four implemters on Legend, &lt;br /&gt;
has chosen to retire his character. For the last several months, Sadist &lt;br /&gt;
has been very busy at Origin, and thus hasn't had the time and energy to &lt;br /&gt;
work on Legend. However, Sadist's contributions to Legend are tremendous. &lt;br /&gt;
He wrote the majority of Legend's code, which includes (but is not &lt;br /&gt;
limited to), the acts system and the socket routines that allow different &lt;br /&gt;
systems to run Legend. Everything that's been done (or will be done) &lt;br /&gt;
since, areas, procedures, and so forth, is based on the foundation that &lt;br /&gt;
Sadist made for Legend.&lt;br /&gt;
 &lt;br /&gt;
                   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^&lt;br /&gt;
                     CHARACTER ARCHIVING&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Those of you who will be absent from the net over the holidays should &lt;br /&gt;
contact one of the IMPS's if you'd like your inactive character(s) &lt;br /&gt;
archived. Since we do have the occasional player wipe, it's a good &lt;br /&gt;
thing to do.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=            &lt;br /&gt;
                        A CONTEST!!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Attention all Pkill clans!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Charity is sponsoring a contest to determine which clan will be invited &lt;br /&gt;
to test the new arena, when her area is ready to be tested (which ought &lt;br /&gt;
to be right after the new year).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Contest entries will be a recruitment ad for your clan posted on the war &lt;br /&gt;
room board and clearly marked so that we know that it is your contest &lt;br /&gt;
entry. Only one entry per clan is allowed, so feel free to have all your &lt;br /&gt;
clan members help compose it, or choose a PR representative, or saddle &lt;br /&gt;
your GM with the job. Judging will be done by as many gods as Charity can &lt;br /&gt;
get to agree to do it, and the criteria will be the total impact of the &lt;br /&gt;
recruitment ad -- persuasiveness, propaganda, humor, suitability to your &lt;br /&gt;
clan's particular theme, and (theoretical) effectiveness. The deadline &lt;br /&gt;
for entries is January 1.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Although RP clans cannot, for obvious reasons, test a pkill arena, the rp &lt;br /&gt;
clans are invited to participate as well, and will be judged separately &lt;br /&gt;
from the pk clans. The prize will be a new treat, specially made for the &lt;br /&gt;
ocassion.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                      -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- &lt;br /&gt;
                            A PARTY&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ptah and Kaige are hosting a Christmas party at their home in Austin, &lt;br /&gt;
Texas on the evening of December 15. They invite mudders to mingle with &lt;br /&gt;
game designers. BYOB, and RSVP please, please, please to Koster@eden.com &lt;br /&gt;
and BYO instrument if you play one, and BYO Playstation Game. Kaige adds &lt;br /&gt;
that you should BYOHT (Bring Your Own Hand Towel for the dog slobber..).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-&lt;br /&gt;
                       FUND DRIVE UPDATE &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It turns out that RAM prices were more expensive than we expected them to&lt;br /&gt;
be. Between that and the site fees for the first six months, plus what we&lt;br /&gt;
already owed Sadist, we still lack about $325. Yes, we are now open on the &lt;br /&gt;
new site, but we do still need pledges and donations :) (Many thanks to &lt;br /&gt;
the players who have already made a sizable dent in our &amp;quot;debt&amp;quot;!!!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
We suggest that those who have the money burning a hole in their pocket &lt;br /&gt;
go ahead and send the checks directly to the following address and we &lt;br /&gt;
will get the letters out to them as soon as we can, perhaps even crossing &lt;br /&gt;
in the mail. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
This is the address to send donations to: &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
           (make checks payable to Raphael and Kristen Koster)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                     Raph and Kristen Koster&lt;br /&gt;
                     12603 Rhea Ct. &lt;br /&gt;
                     Austin, TX 78727&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If you are an overseas donor who cannot write a check in US Dollars,&lt;br /&gt;
please email them at koster@eden.com. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
***********************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;
             ________________________&lt;br /&gt;
            /                        \&lt;br /&gt;
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |&lt;br /&gt;
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud?|&lt;br /&gt;
   (o o)    \________________________/&lt;br /&gt;
ooO_(_)_Ooo_____________________________________________________________&lt;br /&gt;
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|&lt;br /&gt;
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|___&lt;br /&gt;
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                    Legendary Rumors......&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Mercenary returned from his travels long enough to announce that even &lt;br /&gt;
though he considers his grievances with the Knights to have been paid &lt;br /&gt;
with their blood, they still are not welcome in Klein, &amp;quot;his&amp;quot; &lt;br /&gt;
city...Kretch and Malorn have been warring pretty heavily lately...when &lt;br /&gt;
Mitra interrupted one of their fights to protest what she felt to be &lt;br /&gt;
improper pk tactics and attacked Kretch, Kretch's good friend Magda &lt;br /&gt;
rewarded her interference with death..Kretch has also been fighting with &lt;br /&gt;
Sharpe (apparently their last fight resulted in the junking of Sharpe's &lt;br /&gt;
dagger...they've also carried out a fierce war of words on the War Room &lt;br /&gt;
Board...Sharpe has also been at war with members of the Grendel &lt;br /&gt;
Clan...which in turn has been in skirmishes with Howard (the latest &lt;br /&gt;
ending in Howard's death..)..Cassandra has been at it with members of the &lt;br /&gt;
Anti-Paladins (who, after a very long absence, seem to be back &lt;br /&gt;
in force)...Dusty is back and spouting off verse (see below)...Cleo and &lt;br /&gt;
Terror are postponing their wedding due to RL net access problems that &lt;br /&gt;
Cleo will be having..and Sandra recently accepted Killer's proposal of &lt;br /&gt;
marriage!&lt;br /&gt;
 &lt;br /&gt;
                    *\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*&lt;br /&gt;
            DUSTY RESPONDS TO LIMERICK'S CHALLENGE&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The challenge issued by Limerick in the last issue of the Legendary Times was&lt;br /&gt;
taken up by Dusty, the frequently absent fox-tailed flautist. She showed up&lt;br /&gt;
quite late one night to duel, and a lively time was had by all...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It is little known that the confrontation of two poets upon the battlefield&lt;br /&gt;
consists of well-established formalized stages. Usually a challenge is issued&lt;br /&gt;
in print, followed by a public volley of acceptance--both of these are&lt;br /&gt;
prepared in advance. The defending poet then answers the challenge and the two&lt;br /&gt;
combatants go through the dance of recognition, a sort of testing of the&lt;br /&gt;
waters. Finally the challenger issues a response to the volley, and then the&lt;br /&gt;
poets settle down to a give and take of improvised verse until one can go no&lt;br /&gt;
further.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A warning to the faint of heart: some of the following limericks deal with&lt;br /&gt;
excretion, sex, and other topics traditional in the form but not acceptable in&lt;br /&gt;
polite company.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty's initial volley, in response to the challenge issued by Limerick,&lt;br /&gt;
naturally addressed the line about her underwear being crusty...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Let it be known that the gauntlet was taken--&lt;br /&gt;
                         The challenge shall not be forsaken--&lt;br /&gt;
                         The limericks are coming!&lt;br /&gt;
                         (Not the person, who's slumming--&lt;br /&gt;
                         His verse isn't quite half done baking.)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         A limerick contest was started&lt;br /&gt;
                         By those who believed themselves artists&lt;br /&gt;
                         But their verse was a bomb&lt;br /&gt;
                         Delivered sans aplomb&lt;br /&gt;
                         And only last place was awarded.&lt;br /&gt;
                         A child was dropped on his head once&lt;br /&gt;
                         He became a purveyor of bad rhymed puns&lt;br /&gt;
                         There was nothing to do&lt;br /&gt;
                         Amidst the cry and the hue&lt;br /&gt;
                         So they called him Limerick, the poor dunce.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         There once was this Limerick fellow&lt;br /&gt;
                         Who thought Dusty's undies were yellow.&lt;br /&gt;
                         Not that he peeked--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Or even sniffed the reek--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Just that he had a fixation on Jell-O.&lt;br /&gt;
                         Jell-O the marvelous goo stuff&lt;br /&gt;
                         Fills skulls that have not brains 'nuff.&lt;br /&gt;
                         Take Limerick's spew&lt;br /&gt;
                         (Grape-apple? Eeeewwww!)&lt;br /&gt;
                         The equivalent of poetic dandruff.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then the limericks turned towards the dirty!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Some men see themselves as satyrs--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Insatiable, sexy, bed-baiters.&lt;br /&gt;
                         Let's talk about grooming--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Hairy legs and horns looming&lt;br /&gt;
                         Won't make the satyr be able to sate her.&lt;br /&gt;
                         This girl thought herself a vixen&lt;br /&gt;
                         And dined upon men with the fixin's&lt;br /&gt;
                         But all the red dresses&lt;br /&gt;
                         Got stained with the messes&lt;br /&gt;
                         When she failed to get all of her licks in.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Bad verse tends to the salacious;&lt;br /&gt;
                         Bodily functions amaze us.&lt;br /&gt;
                         Public mitosis&lt;br /&gt;
                         and bad halitosis&lt;br /&gt;
                         And limericks tend not to be gracious.&lt;br /&gt;
                         Forgive the judges their sad state--&lt;br /&gt;
                         They drool, these incontinent once-greats.&lt;br /&gt;
                         But Limerick's bad rhymes&lt;br /&gt;
                         Quite zapped their minds&lt;br /&gt;
                         and left them as idiotic blank slates.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Some claim that Dusty was banished&lt;br /&gt;
                         Her last poems forged, her pen vanished&lt;br /&gt;
                         But reports of her death&lt;br /&gt;
                         Were hoaxed by the best&lt;br /&gt;
                         By the would-bes among the satire-fannish.&lt;br /&gt;
                         The last limerick has been spoken--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Quick, before English gets broken.&lt;br /&gt;
                         They're flash and no substance&lt;br /&gt;
                         Romance with no love dance&lt;br /&gt;
                         A poem with fire no one put smoke in.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then Dusty closed her volley with the formal return challenge:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Good luck to Limerick, is he shows his nose. He might have a rhyme stuck up it&lt;br /&gt;
somewheres. Let's hope he blows it really hard.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Then again, he blows hard all the time...&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;If he comes up with any good ones, let me know--I might have another five&lt;br /&gt;
minutes to spare to come up with another dozen or so.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Moneys sent to my fan club WILL reach me :-) Bombs sent to my hate club are&lt;br /&gt;
forwarded to Magda for taste-tests. Not that they would change her appearance&lt;br /&gt;
much :-P&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then Limerick arrived on the scene to answer the challenge.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Rumor has it that... oh, great.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty replied with:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         The limerick's the lowest form of verse&lt;br /&gt;
                         As humor, only bad puns rank worse.&lt;br /&gt;
                         But we're not at the nadir--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Nobody gets PAID here&lt;br /&gt;
                         For literarily analyzaling our ums and ers.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Then another stage in the formal bard challenge: the dance of recognition.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty: Can it be?&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick: is it she?&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick: Is it Dusty the not so busty?&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty: Is it he who hee-hees?&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick: si!&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty: Whee!&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick: I have a few of my own, if you will allow me&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick: only four, though&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty: whee, the wee he (we who hee-hee know where he's wee, you see)&lt;br /&gt;
has verse to converse and disburse, for the worse...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And so Limerick began his formal response to Dusty's volley.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         So Dusty accepted my quest&lt;br /&gt;
                         And offered us some of her best&lt;br /&gt;
                         But Lim is still here&lt;br /&gt;
                         So tremble in fear&lt;br /&gt;
                         While i have my turn at jest&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Perhaps, oh Dusty, you child&lt;br /&gt;
                         You think my poems quite mild&lt;br /&gt;
                         As dirty as yours?&lt;br /&gt;
                         About buxom whores?&lt;br /&gt;
                         Well now, let's start to run wild!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Ah, Dusty the wannabe writer&lt;br /&gt;
                         Who is a satirical fighter&lt;br /&gt;
                         But in london she stands&lt;br /&gt;
                         Meeting demands&lt;br /&gt;
                         Of sailors who just want to bite her&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;I have one more that's a little dirtier... no cuss words, though,&amp;quot; he&lt;br /&gt;
announced.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         In Tara, she accompanies Fath-Fith&lt;br /&gt;
                         A man she feels comfortable with&lt;br /&gt;
                         For he is all sleaze&lt;br /&gt;
                         And easy to please&lt;br /&gt;
                         When they unite the organs they piss with&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
With that, Limerick bade all farewell with a hearty &amp;quot;GOOD NIGHT&lt;br /&gt;
EVERYBODY...&amp;quot; followed by a cringe. But Dusty would not let him off so&lt;br /&gt;
easily.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Limerick speaks wisely of bawdies&lt;br /&gt;
                         And of matters politeness calls tawdry&lt;br /&gt;
                         Perhaps self-analysis&lt;br /&gt;
                         Led to paralysis&lt;br /&gt;
                         When it came to dealing with female bodies?&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Uh-oh...&amp;quot; Limerick said.&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;EEP...&amp;quot; shouted Lirra. &amp;quot;It's Dusty... RUN AND HIDE everybody!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Poor fellow uses verse as a crutch&lt;br /&gt;
                         For seduction and loving and such&lt;br /&gt;
                         But a pen is too weak&lt;br /&gt;
                         And leads him to weep--&lt;br /&gt;
                         It just isn't meant for holding up such!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Not to mention it's darn uncomfy when he scribbles on the poor lass's&lt;br /&gt;
thigh,&amp;quot; she added parenthetically.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Ooh!!!  dem's fightin' words!&amp;quot; exclaimed Limerick.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Yes, Dusty, your Undies are foul&lt;br /&gt;
                         I thought you were a nice gal&lt;br /&gt;
                         But I saw your skid marks&lt;br /&gt;
                         As loud as a lark&lt;br /&gt;
                         You're soiled by movements of bowel&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But Dusty wasn't going to let him get away with such an awkward effort,&lt;br /&gt;
and jumped in with some impromptu literary criticism.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Cry foul on foul and gal, fool!&lt;br /&gt;
                         Perhaps if gal were gaol, you'll&lt;br /&gt;
                         Get past the judges--&lt;br /&gt;
                         As it is you fudge it--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Rhyme right or head home to your cesspool.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick changed the subject:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Now as we reach this new junction&lt;br /&gt;
                         Dusty has quite some good unction&lt;br /&gt;
                         Her promiscuous ends&lt;br /&gt;
                         As she backwards bends&lt;br /&gt;
                         Show her affinity for bodily functions&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Dusty is just a bit surly&lt;br /&gt;
                         And I see her armpits are curly&lt;br /&gt;
                         She's big and buff&lt;br /&gt;
                         And if that's not enough&lt;br /&gt;
                         She's also quite large and burly&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Exhausted, Limerick sighed, &amp;quot;Boy, i think i ran out...&amp;quot; but Rusalka&lt;br /&gt;
helpfully reminded him, &amp;quot;Don't forget her incredible hair style.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Ooh!&amp;quot; Limerick said, a gleam in his eyes. &amp;quot;Her hairstyle :)&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Fair is foul, foul is fair&lt;br /&gt;
                         Dusty has some horrible hair&lt;br /&gt;
                         To see a lass&lt;br /&gt;
                         With a furrier a--&lt;br /&gt;
                         Is indeed so very rare&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
But Dusty wasn't going to just sit and take it, although her reply&lt;br /&gt;
perhaps incriminated her somewhat...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Some folks attack my hairstyle's mess&lt;br /&gt;
                         Because it ain't nice and arranged with a dress&lt;br /&gt;
                         But men know that rumpled&lt;br /&gt;
                         Means a girl who once tumbled&lt;br /&gt;
                         And decided thereafter to rest.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         Limerick decries my wild head of hair&lt;br /&gt;
                         And makes up what's not really there&lt;br /&gt;
                         He flees--whatta tease&lt;br /&gt;
                         And crotch-scratches the fleas&lt;br /&gt;
                         Which infest the bare spot where he bears no hair!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Limerick at this point was silent. Whether or not Dusty had actually won the&lt;br /&gt;
victory at this point, she claimed it, with the traditional closing verses&lt;br /&gt;
graciously (well... it WAS Dusty) forgiving the loser for daring to aim so&lt;br /&gt;
high and encouraging him in his future poetical pursuits.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         It's two-forty-six in the morn&lt;br /&gt;
                         And Limerick's blowing his horn&lt;br /&gt;
                         But I have a job&lt;br /&gt;
                         So I'll be a snob&lt;br /&gt;
                         And let him blow solo as is his norm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                         That pants bulge don't mean he's inbred!&lt;br /&gt;
                         Lim challenged to verse this bardette,&lt;br /&gt;
                         But kicking his butt&lt;br /&gt;
                         Entailed slight smut&lt;br /&gt;
                         Which I fear went to his SMALL head.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(Well, that IS as gracious as Dusty gets, anyway...)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Stay tuned, we're sure to hear more of this...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                      *********************&lt;br /&gt;
                         THE TALE OF TAD&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Lesse... I were bornded in a little village norfeast of Tara... aroun on&lt;br /&gt;
the far side of the moors.  I liveded ther wif Mama.  I don 'member much&lt;br /&gt;
from when I were itty bitty, but I 'members when Mama tookded me to see&lt;br /&gt;
the Sidhe!  Well, accaly, she wented to see one of them I tinks, an jus&lt;br /&gt;
tookded me 'long.  But I gotted to go see them dance! I waited by the Well&lt;br /&gt;
of Moonlight an watchded them dance while Mama wented 'way wif one of&lt;br /&gt;
them.  They brungded me food cuz Mama was gone for longtime.  She cameded&lt;br /&gt;
back affer a while, tho, an we wented home.  Affer tha, couple of months,&lt;br /&gt;
Mama started gettin round in the tummy.  At firs she were jus a little&lt;br /&gt;
round, an she maded a nice pillo.  Then she gotted REAL round... her belly&lt;br /&gt;
started to get big.  Thas when the villagers chasded us 'way.  I don&lt;br /&gt;
unnerstan how comes they wanded to kill Mama jus cuz she were round... &lt;br /&gt;
But they camed affer us.  Mama gaved me a knife an tolded me to run, an I&lt;br /&gt;
runnded an runnded, but Mama couldnae run fast 'nuff.  They caughted&lt;br /&gt;
her... an... they killded her.  I jus kepted runnin an runnin... i didn&lt;br /&gt;
know wha else to do.  I runned all the way back to wher the pretty Sidhe&lt;br /&gt;
was.  I stayded there at the Well an crieded an crieded till I couldnae&lt;br /&gt;
cry no more.  I were hoping the Sidhe woulds brin me more food cuz I were&lt;br /&gt;
hongry, but they didn.  Affer a while, i wented to Tara, an Tika fedded me.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
I runnded 'roun tara for a while.  I learneded to fight, cuz I didnae hae&lt;br /&gt;
Mama no more to feed me an keep me safe.  I learnded how to hit peoples&lt;br /&gt;
wif me head... an 'cided tha I woulds go back an hit e'erone in me village&lt;br /&gt;
wif me head an kill them all cuz they killded Mama.  But I didn yet, cuz I&lt;br /&gt;
didn think I coulds.  While I were living in Tara, I metted Kendrik.  He's&lt;br /&gt;
me Da'... was me Da'... but he weren't me Da' yet then.  He were marrieded&lt;br /&gt;
to Lark.  I ne'er metted her much, tho.  Kendrik helpded me out sometimes,&lt;br /&gt;
an I brungded him roses, cuz he liked to give them to Lark.  But then one&lt;br /&gt;
day I seeded Kendrik, an He were all coverded wif blood... an Lark saided&lt;br /&gt;
she didn like him no more.  I talkded to him, an he saided tha he were&lt;br /&gt;
reincarcerated.  I still don unnerstan tha part, tho.  But affer this, he&lt;br /&gt;
axed me ifn I wanded to be part of his Clan... ifn he coulds 'dopt me.  I&lt;br /&gt;
hadn ne'er hadded a Da' 'for, an didn e'en hae Mama no more, so I saided&lt;br /&gt;
yes.  Thas when I 'camed a MacLaren.  Then I metted Da's brother an&lt;br /&gt;
sister, Uncle Darby an Aunti Star.  I were happy cuz I hadded Famly 'gain!&lt;br /&gt;
 I learned more an more stuffs, but thas boring so I won talk 'bout it. &lt;br /&gt;
But then Da' dieded... I ne'er did unnerstan the whole thing... He killded&lt;br /&gt;
someone, an someone killded him... an someone else killded him... an a&lt;br /&gt;
captain killded him... an he were no more.  Somebody were yellin 'bout us&lt;br /&gt;
not touching Da's stuffs... but I collected them all anyhow... an tookded&lt;br /&gt;
them an Da's body to the monlith, south of Tara.  I duggded a grave, an&lt;br /&gt;
buried me Da'.  I jus hope Mama's takin good care of him now.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Affer Da' dieded, Aunti Star 'cameded temporary Thane of clan MacLaren,&lt;br /&gt;
jus 'till we coulds figger out wha we wanded to do.  We hadded to pick a&lt;br /&gt;
new thane... Aunti Star saided I coulds be the thane ifn I wanded to, but&lt;br /&gt;
Darby saided I were too little, tha I needed a regent.  I tink Aunti Star&lt;br /&gt;
thotted he were prolly right.  But Aunti Star an Darby couldnae 'cide&lt;br /&gt;
which of them shoulds be the new thane... I means regent.  They saided it&lt;br /&gt;
were my decision.  I thotted longtime 'bout it... an couldnae figger out&lt;br /&gt;
wha to do, till I talkded wif Stephen.  He suggested tha I give make them&lt;br /&gt;
bof something!  I 'cided tha I wannded Darby to be me Lord Protestant, an&lt;br /&gt;
tha I wannded Aunti Star to be me regent.  It were Darby's job to keep us&lt;br /&gt;
all safe, an Aunti Star's job to do whae'er a thane's sposded to do (I&lt;br /&gt;
han't quite figgerd out yet wha a Thane does).  So I talkded to Darby, an&lt;br /&gt;
axed him to be me Lord Protestant, an gaved him me Da's club, sos he&lt;br /&gt;
coulds protect us all.  I saveded me Da's circlet for Aunti Star, an his&lt;br /&gt;
kilt for meself.  Howe'er, seems Darby thotted I wanded him to be regent,&lt;br /&gt;
tha it were same thing as Lord Protestant.  He talkded to Aunti Star, an&lt;br /&gt;
she gotted upset cuz she weren't there when I maded Darby regent.  'Cept I&lt;br /&gt;
didn make Darby regent, i maded him Lord Protestant.  So I wented an&lt;br /&gt;
talkded to Darby an splainded it all to him, an he wented an talkded to&lt;br /&gt;
Aunti Star an splainded it all to her.  So e'erone were happy 'gain.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Oh! I fergotted 'bout Jondy!  Jondy isn a MacLaren... least not yet.  He&lt;br /&gt;
an Aunti Star is gonna get marrieded.  When he an Aunti Star 'cided they&lt;br /&gt;
wanded to get married, we all gotted to send Jondy on a quest to make sure&lt;br /&gt;
he were good 'nuff to marry Aunti Star!  Da' saided he hadded to fin 3&lt;br /&gt;
roses for her... one red, one black, an one green.  He founded the red an&lt;br /&gt;
black ones, but looked an looked an lookeded for the green one.  Jus&lt;br /&gt;
recenterly he finly founded the last one.  Now he an Aunti Star cans get&lt;br /&gt;
marrieded!  But they han't tolded us when, yet.  Affer they gets&lt;br /&gt;
marrieded, tho, Aunti Star's gonna 'dopt me! I hae a Famly, but I's will&lt;br /&gt;
hae a Mama 'gain.  I hopes they gets marrieded soon...&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thas not me whole story... theres loss more to it, I jus han't seeded wha&lt;br /&gt;
the rest is yet, an I don know how is goin to end.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^&lt;br /&gt;
Dusty's limerick's about well...limerick arn't the only verse that she's &lt;br /&gt;
been spouting lately..this recently scrolled by the editor's screen:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Hide your underwear, everyone... from Magda of the long nose!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
It's practically prehensile, mobile and quasi-mental&lt;br /&gt;
It's Magda's the amazing sniffing nose!&lt;br /&gt;
It slides and squeezes, sniffily wheezes,&lt;br /&gt;
Magda's inquisitive nose!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
And at night the children think&lt;br /&gt;
That mosnters lurk and evilly wink&lt;br /&gt;
But it's only nostrils in that dark, with snotty glows!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Beware, beware, the nosy hairs, the quivering stretching stare!&lt;br /&gt;
Flee, be free, before she sniffs too close of thee and me,&lt;br /&gt;
it's Magda and her&lt;br /&gt;
     trained and dancing&lt;br /&gt;
          waxed and prancing&lt;br /&gt;
               wavy long&lt;br /&gt;
                    and ALWAYS wrong&lt;br /&gt;
NOSE!!!!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-&lt;br /&gt;
                         AN INVITATION&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                   Gerry Cowan, Druid of Lohr&lt;br /&gt;
                              and&lt;br /&gt;
                   Mitra Ajami, Hermetic Mage&lt;br /&gt;
      are pleased to announce the joining of their houses.&lt;br /&gt;
               We invite you to share our joy&lt;br /&gt;
               on December 12, at 7 pm (PST).&lt;br /&gt;
  The ceremony will conducted by Petal, the High Priestess of Daisy&lt;br /&gt;
               Atop a Mountain Peak, in India.&lt;br /&gt;
      May the Blessings of the Goddess go out to each of you.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^&lt;br /&gt;
                        A HARKON UPDATE&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(As observant LT readers will remember, Harkon, in his life story, &lt;br /&gt;
recently claimed to be a former demon who had been thrown out of Hell for &lt;br /&gt;
the infernal sin of falling in love...) &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ptah's peaceful if spammy conference with newbies in the OOC one night was&lt;br /&gt;
suddenly interrupted by the following:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[Chat] Satan, Lord of Evil, Prince of Lies, Master of Darkness: Let all scorn&lt;br /&gt;
Harkon, my faithless, lovelorn Bard whom I once punished with mortality, for he&lt;br /&gt;
seeks in this puny human form to vanquish me!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Many players expressed their public dismay at the appearance of Satan in&lt;br /&gt;
their midst, including Padre Ignatio and Flagg, who was heard to complain &lt;br /&gt;
that he hadn't let Satan out.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Responded Harkon, in firm tones,  &amp;quot;Your reign of tyrany is over, I'm &lt;br /&gt;
here to save mankind from your evil Satan!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
After winning a seeming victory over Satan, Harkon soon discovered that&lt;br /&gt;
he was no match for a devil with more dirty tricks and fewer compunctions&lt;br /&gt;
than the worst human pkillers. The half-expected, half-dreaded permadeath&lt;br /&gt;
message was not heard, however... instead, Satan commented:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[Info] Satan, Lord of Evil, Prince of Lies, Master of Darkness: I choose that&lt;br /&gt;
Harkon shall not be permanently dead, for I kicked him out of hell once and&lt;br /&gt;
have no desire to see him back. Let him make his way amongst you mortals again,&lt;br /&gt;
not that he will fare any better by the repetition!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Somewhat befuddled by the ordeal of death and reincarnation, Harkon&lt;br /&gt;
eventually responded with this:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[Info] Harkon: ahh, you are truely a cruel master Satan, to return me to this&lt;br /&gt;
accursed earth.  *sigh*&lt;br /&gt;
[Info] Harkon: but your slipping dark one, i have regained some of my powers.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
... whereupon everyone wished Harkon well in his new life.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ &lt;br /&gt;
                             ERRATA&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the last issue of the Legendary Times, we reported that the acronym&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;LM-EMS&amp;quot; stood for the &amp;quot;Legend Mud Emergency Squad.&amp;quot; It's actually the&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;quot;Legend Mud Emergency Medical Services.&amp;quot; Our thanks to the observant &lt;br /&gt;
reader who caught this error!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
 Legendary Times is put out by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all&lt;br /&gt;
 replies/additions to to our address at stevensj@ucsu.colorado.edu for &lt;br /&gt;
inclusion in the next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate &lt;br /&gt;
this discussion, and may object to some submissions. If you feel we have &lt;br /&gt;
wrongly omitted one of your messages, please talk to Rusalka online or &lt;br /&gt;
 through EMail and see if she did indeed receive it in the first place.&lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;/nowiki&amp;gt;&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Mertjai</name></author>
	</entry>
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