View source for Volume Two Issue Thirty-Five

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............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES
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    http://alcuin.plymouth.edu/~ed/legend.html
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VOLUME TWO, ISSUE THIRTY-FIVE                          October 20, 1995
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                     *****************************

                       ...:/:[ CONTENTS ]:\:...

                            *CODE UPDATES*

                            *ANNOUNCEMENTS*

                         -Hall of Legend Bios-

                          -Fund Drive Update-

                            *SOCIAL EVENTS*

                        -A Knightly Challenge!-

                         -An Elegy for Kiera-

                             -A Wedding-

                            -Harkon's Tale-

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Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address
at stevensj@ucsu.colorado.edu. Letters to the editor are welcomed.
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                           CODE UPDATES

In the past couple of weeks, a large number of code changes have been
made throughout the game.

Here's a list:

 -The fade self spell is fixed, so that invis potion now works. Fade self
  and fade person both last the same amount of time now.

 -PCs (and players) aren't forced to rush out and attack if someone
  shoots at them.

 -Cosmetic fixes were made to the census spell, and to the messages for
  the "steal" and "backstab" skills.

 -The wave of nausea spell now has a message to the caster when it succeeds.

 -If you are mounted and recall, the mount doesn't come with you. If you
  have a groupboat and recall, the groupboat doesn't come with you.

 -Hidden people stop hiding when they begin to fight.

 -You'll be thrown from your mount if you lose the ability to use ride.

 -Shooting to initiate combat removes the sneak affect.

 -You can now use the "aggressive" option while raging.

 -Begging now follows clanned/unclanned rules.

 -Boats now stay with corpses the same way lights do.

 -Homunculi and elementals now disappear after they uncharm.

 -Blind characters are now able to manipulate doors (presumably by feel)
  100% of time

 -Unimplemented spells that are chantable will no longer cost you mana.

 -Praise and satire can no longer be used in the OOC.

                          *\*/*\*/*\*/*

                    HALL OF LEGEND BIOGRAPHIES

We're now collecting biographies for HALL OF LEGEND characters to put in the
helpfiles and on the web site. We request that your submissons be 24
lines or less. Our use of these biographies is subject to Flagg's
approval (he has the final say on accepting submissions :)


                      ********************

                       FUND DRIVE UPDATE

It turns out that RAM prices were more expensive than we expected them to
be. Between that and the site fees for the first six months, plus what we
already owed Sadist, we still lack about $325. Yes, we are now open on the
new site, but we do still need pledges and donations :) (Many thanks to
the players who have already made a sizable dent in our "debt"!!!)

We suggest that those who have the money burning a hole in their pocket
go ahead and send the checks directly to the following address and we
will get the letters out to them as soon as we can, perhaps even crossing
in the mail.

This is the address to send donations to:

           (make checks payable to Raphael and Kristen Koster)

                     Raph and Kristen Koster
                     12603 Rhea Ct.
                     Austin, TX 78727

If you are an overseas donor who cannot write a check in US Dollars,
please email them at koster@eden.com.

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        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
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We received this scroll just this past week at the LT offices:

        ********************************************************************
      **   **                                                               **
     *       *                                                                *
    * *      *                                                                *
    *  **  **                                                               **
    *    *******************************************************************
    *                                                                  *
    *        In reply to your base challenge, I return one to thee,    *
    *    heathen Mercenary.  I shall change some of my equipment,      *
    *    and face thee with as near to your own abilities as I can.    *
    *    Yet, it shall not be a single fight, but a duel to the        *
    *    final death.  Equipment shall be untouched by the individual  *
    *    victors of each bout, and each combatant will start with      *
    *    full hp at the beginning of each.  Also, it shall not be      *
    *    of the chase me/chase you, but a stand up, formal fight,      *
    *    in a single room.  A neutral shall call the start of each     *
    *    bout.  Neither shall flee from the room.                      *
    *                                                                  *
    *    Should ye chose to decline this, any and all existing         *
    *    challenges by thee shall be void, and any claimed titles      *
    *    ye shall never again lay claim to.                            *
    *                                                                  *
    *                                                                  *
    *            Written by my hand,                                   *
    *                                                                  *
    *                Sir Dominic ElHalyn Hastur                        *
    *                Master of the Knights of Legend                   *
    *                                                                  *
    ********************************************************************

=======================
The following came by way of messenger:
----
To Dominic, in response to his challenge:

Ass! I have a better idea, along the same lines as your challenge: why do we
not instead strip down and crouch in a small coup, clucking and flapping our
arms?. The first to lay an egg will be named the victor and knight
extraordinaire, later to be sacrificed as dinner.

And why not? It makes as much sense as your assinine proposal. Strip from
combat all strategy, skill, and intelligence, and ye wind up with two idiots
standing with feet rooted to the floor, taking turns beating each other with
sticks until one of them is dead. Or two knights dueling each other, 'tis
hard to tell the difference. And certes it proves aught. Even roving duels
only slightly resemble real combat.

Are ye so afraid that you and all of your warriors, putting your heads
together and coming up with (dare I suggest) strategy cannot stand against
me? And well ye should be, because so far on that count ye have failed.

A real proposal for ye: spend some time outside of that secret clubhouse of
yours. Death will find ye, swift and true, and your running can end, perhaps
abating your cowardice and fear as well.

Mercenary
=============================================

Mercenary's retribution against the knights seems to be proceeding
full-tilt. Gail has already been killed by the rogue, and Dragonseye fell
victim to one of a number of assassins openly hired by Mercenary, who
claimed that Dragonseye was 'not worth his time' to kill. Rumors speak of
similar contracts on the life of the seldom-seen knight Tegid.

Verbal sparring between Dominic and Mercenary has frequently been seen, but
has only once come to blows, ostensibly because the knight chooses to
exercise the better part of valour, waiting in his clan hall for reinforcements.

Those reinforcements showed up recently, and Tarbash and Dominic looked like
they were going to get the better of the rogue wanderer. The slippery
Mercenary managed to break off and re-engage the battle often, each time
coming back refreshed, much to the consternation of the knights. The war
raged across Britain and Europe, until finally Tarbash was slain on the
doorstep of Der Phoenix, steps away from safety. Dominic had earlier fled,
and no sign of him could be found.  There are those who wonder if perhaps
Dominic couldn't have bought Tarbash's safe escape with a little more bravery.

Mercenary also seems to have gotten more than he bargained for when he
accepted a commission on Kretch of the Hermetics. His first abortive
assassination attempt was foiled by Magda, who recalled Kretch to safety,
where he promptly rented. Magda and Mercenary exchanged icy words over
chat, and within a few minutes of Kretch's return, both Kretch and Magda
were killed.

Magda, claiming foul play on Mercenarys part, warned that he'd picked the
terms of the fight. Mercenary claimed innocence and accidental slaying of
Magda after Kretch's death, but neither Magda nor, apparently, the Hermetics
bought that age-worn excuse. Kretch lured Mercenary to London under the
pretense of Mercenary paying Kretch a half-commission fee still owed.
Mercenary left the gold with a homunculus, then hid, claiming he hoped to
verify the transaction. Kretch attacked, and was soon joined by Phineas and
Magda, who quickly routed Mercenary, forcing him to flee to the past.

A long chase ensued, spanning all three realms of time in legend, but
Mercenary managed to keep one step ahead of his pursuers, ultimately
escaping back to 'his city', Kleinstadt. No further deaths were reported,
but one can't help but wonder what the Hermetics will make of this. During
the chase, Kretch was slain by Phineas. No public explanation was given.

More bloodshed insued when Mercenary accepted a contract on the life of
Silent. After Mercenary successfully fulfilled it, his employer, Kendrik
MacLaren wanted more blood, and so killed the vulnerable Silent
repeatedly until ordered to quit by Mercenary, who felt that the multiple
slaying wern't part of his original contract. A few hours later, Yukio
avenged her clan mate by killing Kendrik, adding in a couple of extra
kills in retribution for his...Angered by her attack, Kendrik went wild
with rage and accosted a nearby innocent ship's captain. Unfortunately,
this attack was his last, for Kendrik was permanently slain by the
captain. His death threw the MacLaren clan into shock, many of whom had
been trying to avert his final folly. Funeral services were held in
Ireland by Tad, his adopted son, and a grave was dug at the Stone
Monolith south of the Dun.

Still more blood was shed when April encountered Ketch. For reasons
unknown to most everyone, she responded to making his acquaintance by
killing him twice! Since then, there have been numerous frays between
them, some of which have ended up involving Kretch's fellow Hermetics. In
turn, April has been aided by as well by Malorn, that former Anti-Paladin
(rumor has it, the Great Guppy no longer favors Malorn). The affiliations
of April herself are unclear, although she does claim Augustus as her uncle
and seems to identify with the cause of the now silent Coven. Perhaps that
clan will rise again from its ashes....

And last, but certainly not least, an epic battle ensued between Magda
and Snapper last week. For some time now there has been bad blood between
them, ever since Snapper allegedly stole one of Magda's belongings. After
days of taunting each other on the chat channel, they finally went at it
in Sherwood. At first, Snapper seemed to have the upper hand, owing to
Magda running into Will of the Green. However, she managed to evade both
Will and Snapper, reappearing in the wilds of Canada. After a prolonged
chase, Magda vanquished Snapper with her stunning attack. And so the
it is over...until the next fray..

                        /*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\

Thanks to our investigative reporters, the LT is able to bring you a more
complete account of the circumstances leading to Kiera's permadeath. Our
sources inform us that she chose to go because of personal complications
in her life and Magda's (they say she did for love of Magda). A large
majority of Legend's characters reacted with grief and sadness to
the news of her death, including many who were her sworn enemies. Many
have left roses, pictures, candles, and other tributes to her memory. Well
wishers may view these, or bring others to the site on Harbor Row, just
east of the London Inn.

Characteristically, Dusty, Kiera's sister, left her tribute in the form of a
poem:

                An Elegy for Kiera

       I miss her gray eyes with twinkles of murder,
       This sister of mine who is gone;
       She walked the knife edge of civilization
       And preyed on the meek and the strong.
       She took life as she found it, usually by force,
       And left behind empty hearts and a corpse.

       She baited her rivals with words tinged with wry,
       This sister of mine who is gone.
       She struck from behind and betrayed unacquainted
       And never stayed good friends for long.
       She took love as she found it, often by stealth
       And robbed men of life and good health.

       I miss her small smile as she faced her dark future--
       This sister of mine who is gone;
       She knew just how empty the nights could extend
       When one sells people's lives for a song.
       She loved life and she lost it, perhaps lost even more,
       This Kiera I miss, this sister, this soul sold past darkness' door.

       -- Dusty

              //\/\//\///\/\/////\///

Legend enjoyed a happier occasion with the wedding of Farnsworth and
Linda. We received this account just last week:

        The following is a retelling of the wedding of Farnsworth Kurwa and
the raven-haired waif, Linda, held Alongside the Waterfall, Canada, on
October 13, 1995.  Officiating the ceremony was The Most Honorable Pool
Shark, Rufus.  Zorn Kurwa, OTS, brother of the groom, acted as Best Man; Ren
and Cleo offered to give the bride away.  Those in attendance included:
Charity, Peleg, Beginner, Xo, Nic, Del, Elanor, Hayden, Deathtrap, Candide,
Khai, Malakai, Ta, Northstar, Greebo, Redwing, MontyPython, ParticleMan,
Lancorn, Stephen, Malorn, and the link-dead Ptah.  Everyone sat in your left
mind.

        As is often the case with such events, the ceremony was late to
start - though with transfer problems, minor intrusions and a nervous groom,
it was most understandable.  An early admonition by Rufus, "Please keep your
emotes, says, actions, spellcasting to a minimum...the penalties for
spamming may be drastic", was promptly ignored by everyone.

        Prompted by Elanor's random doodlings, a grand musical interlude
followed.  Excerpts from Vivaldi's "Four Seasons", Classical Bach "Fugue in
G Minor", The Wedding March, Ravel's "Bolero", and the "Overture to Romeo
and Juliet" were performed by Elanor (Bone Flute), Nic (Harmonica), Greebo
(Flamenco Guitar), and Del (Guitar).  During the music Cleo sang a stunning
rendition of "Fever".

        Once order had again been restored, Rufus attempted to begin the
ceremony.  "We are gathered here today to witness the joining of two people
who I have come to know in my travels across this land..."  The scholarly
Elanor politely offered a grammatical correction before Rufus continued.
"Who here comes to give the bride?"  Cleo said, "I do."  "I do," said Ren.
A quick debate on the subject was ended when the bride suggested that she
and Farnsworth "go for a beer".

        The ceremony resumed as Rufus continued, "Before you sit Linda and
Farnsworth, together on this day, before you all as witnesses.  And we are
here to join not only in body and mind, but in soul as well, these two
hearts who have found each other in the vast sea of people that span this
great land. And speaking of minds...as you see, they are in their left
mind...as anyone who is getting married could not be in their right mind."
This was well received, and brought shouts of "Amen!" and "So?".  The bride
pointed out that she was left-handed and therefore in her right mind.  The
groom was completely lost in his bride.

        "Now...upon this day of spam," Rufus continued, "of joy and
rejoicing, I encourage all now to express their support for our proceedings
here by maintaining ABSOLUTE silence".  Turning to Farnsworth, he said, "I
have known you since the days when I traveled with the Bards as companion
and friend."  To Linda he said, "And through Farns I have come to know
you...my blessings to you both on this day."

        Rufus gave a copy of "The Princess Bride" to Farnsworth, while Zorn
handed his brother a delicate filigreed wedding band.  "On this book, oh
holy book of humor and wit, do you swear that what you say upon this day is
honest from your heart?" asked Rufus of Farnsworth.  "I do," reponded the
nervous groom.  After presenting a copy of same to Linda, Rufus asked her,
"Do you swear on this day that all you say comes honestly from your heart?"
Linda replied, "I do."  Rufus held a copy of "The Princess Bride" in his
hands and, turning to page 223, began, "Mawage...."

        This was greeted with much amusement.  Ren appeared glad that Rufus
was only blaving.  "I have been informed that Linda and Farns have prepared
their own vows," Rufus said.  "Your vows," he said to Farnsworth.

        "We come into this world with little," began Farnsworth.  "The
longer we stay, the more we find...life experiences, material items,
friendships.  If we're lucky, we find a special person.  A person with whom
to share life experiences, material items, friendships.  Linda, I have asked
you to be my special person, and am standing here today to formally announce
this before one and all.  And besides,....I like the wiggle in your walk and
the giggle in your talk."

        Again, those in attendance were moved.  Del was seen asking Zorn for
a tissue.  He was quickly supplied with one by Lancorn, who had many.  Zorn
gave Del a hanky with the Kurwa symbol on it and Charity provided a pocket
handkerchief.

        Rufus then invited Linda to say her vows.  "Being one of few words,"
she said, "I find it hard to express what I feel.  But never doubt my love,
dearest.  I will love you through everything, the good and the bad.  I will
stand by your side til the end of time."  With some well meant
encouragement, and accidental late arrivals, the bride completed her vows.

        "The ring, please," asked Rufus, and Farnsworth handed a wedding
band to him.  Rufus dropped a ball and chain, but quickly picked them up
again, blushing all the while.  When Rufus peered intently at the ring,
Linda growled at him, but it was in jest.  "I think the priest here has been
nipping at the holy wine..." Ren proudly observed to Linda.

        As the sun rose in the east, signaling a new day, Rufus placed the
ring inside a copy of "The Princess Bride".  Rufus then asked Linda, "The
ring please."  He tapped her on the shoulder.  "The ring," he reminded her.
Rufus looked into the sky and pondered before continuing.  "Well...this
is....interesting.  Well, we shall join these two with but a single
ring...For it is not, as these two have requested, a joining of two separate
entities into a pair, but into a single existence," he said.  "Then
again....We may somehow acquire another ring, by which we shall symbolize
the unity by the unity of the types of metals in the rings."  Rufus then
pondered his own existence, while more confusion, eating and coming and
going occurred.
        Rufus continued the ceremony by blessing each ring with a small
prayer.  To, of course, at Linda's request, no diety in particular, unless
you consider Bertrand Russell a diety.  Rufus hugged Bertrand Russell's
"Principia Mathematica".

        As Farnsworth stared into Linda's eyes, Rufus gave the groom the
wedding band and said, "Do you, Farnsworth Kurwa, take Linda to be your
lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, and to
always put that little plastic thingy back on the bread when you are done
getting a slice?" After the expected response, Rufus directed Farnsworth
"You may place the ring upon her finger."  Upon giving Linda the ring,
Farnsworth said, "With this ring I thee wed" and beamed delightedly.  Rufus
became confused at this point, thinking the vows thing had already been
done, but the recently RL-married Greebo pointed out the correctness of the
procedure.  Taking this in stride, Rufus continued, asking Linda, "Do you,
Linda, take Farnsworth to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to
hold, to nag and to love, from this day forward, till pkill and perma may do
you part?"  "I do," was the bride's response.  She gave the ring to
Farnsworth before Rufus could say, "You may place the ring upon his finger..."

        With the words, "With these rings may you forever be binded, by
life, by love and by the soul within each of you," Rufus is drowned out by
the jubilation of the crowd.  He tried trice to tell everyone he was not
finished yet.  The newlyweds kissed, as Rufus said to Farnsworth "You may
now grop...er, kiss the bride."  Amidst many cheers, Rufus said "I now
pronounce you man and wife."

        With everyone congratulating the happy couple, the ceremony quickly
degenerated into a spam-festival of good wishes, and guests began to
politely bid the newlyweds adieu.  Before leaving, Charity presented
Farnsworth and Linda each with a magic mushroom, a trip for their wedding.
Many others as well presented the couple with gifts.  Greebo played
"Appropriate Reception Music" on a flamenco guitar lent to him by Nic.
Some of those present danced.

        The final entry of the log is Rufus bringing the ceremony to an end,
saying "Can I get my your right mind back?"

        The chronicles stop here, but tales are told that the Kurwa family
soon found themselves in Norway, fighting Vikings and rescuing their friend
Hayden from certain doom.  Details of their honeymoon are better left to the
happy couple.

                Chronicled by Greebo --- Edited by Spencer

We received this message from the honeymooning couple:

We would like to thank everyone who helped make our special day so
memorable, it really did mean a lot to us and we wish you all the best
in return.   Thank you!!!

Farnsworth and Linda Kurwa

                        -=-=-=-=-=-=-

More wedding bells will chime when Nic and Kadiya get married on the
first week of November (the exact time and day is yet to be determined).
They invite all interested parties to come and witness their vows at the
Temple of Anubis, in Egypt. Circumstances pending, Parrilyn will preside
over the ceremony.

                        -=-=-=-=-=-=-



                   PAID ADVERTISEMENT

   *****************************************************
            Wiley the Druid Mage is offering
            animal stunning, human sleeping,
            person fading (non-clan related),
            calming, and soon, nice substantial
            augmented poultices. All I require
            is being grouped to split the EXP in
            return for my assistance.
    *****************************************************

                This History of Harkon Lukus

        I was not always the pathetic wretch you may see from time to
time wandering the byways of the world.  No, good people, I was once a
being of great power, a power so evil as to make your very soul shudder.

        You see, I was the Dark Lord's own bard, for thousands of
millennia I was a powerful figure in the courts of Hell.  I say "was"
because I have since been banished from my homelands, exiled to this hell
you call Earth.

        Why? You may ask.  Why indeed?

        I was stripped of all my powers and station for a most heinous
act.  I was banished for falling in love.

        She was a lovely young soul, pure as any can be and still reside
in Hell.  Her eyes where like sapphires, her hair the color of the fires
of my homeland, with skin so soft and white, it hurt the eyes to gaze
upon her beauty for too long.

        But I was betrayed, betrayed by my own carelessness.  For, in my
blind love of this beautiful creature, I forgot one very important
thing.  I forgot that  not everyone wants to be in Hell (except for its
masters, no one wants to in fact).  I let that creature of my desire know
of my love, and in her hope for salvation, she in turn told Him, the
master of that dark court.

        For my sin I was forced to watch as He and his underlings had
their way with her.  For her honesty and ambition to be gone from that
place she was given the final release, her soul erased for all time.
After the rapings and torture I was stripped of all I had come to know,
my lands, and my powers.  I was sent to earth to live out eternity as a
lowly human.

        I have since vowed to regain my rightful place, even though I
have been forbidden the use of my natural powers, forbidden to even learn
you humans paltry little magicks, I will regain my station, and I will
make the dark one pay for his cruelty to myself and the one I loved!

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