Volume Ten Issue Thirty-Three

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 .............._______
 ............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES
 ............/      /         http://www.legendmud.org/
 .........../      /.....______.._____.....______.._____.......____
 ........../      /...../     /./     \.../     /./     \...../    \
 ........./      /...../  ___/./  ____/../  ___/./  __   \.../  /\  \
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 ...../                / /./       /./     /./  /.../  /./       /
 ..../                /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
 .../________________/      running on         mud.legendmud.org 9999

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 VOLUME TEN, NUMBER THIRTY-THREE                          November 9, 2003
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                          TABLE OF CONTENTS
                          The Editor's Note

                        NEWS, REPORTS, UPDATES
                          Calendar of Events
                       Stock C(h)ar Pk Tourney!
                            Recent Updates
                    October 2003 Connection Analysis

                             LEGENDITES
                         The Offer, Part I

                             Clan News
                  Seven Circles Inducts New Members

                            The PK Front

                         The Offer, Part II
                       Preparing for a Picnic
                         The Wedding Note
          Friends in High Places, Apparitions in Dirty Places
             A Bathing Norseman, a Fjord, and Suprises...
              Guardian Salamanders - Woman's Best Friend
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                      The Editor's Note                          |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'

Some hot debates cropped up in the last week or so on the discussion
board and the news board. On the discussion board, one post concerns what
to do now that you've been everywhere and done everything and what you
can do to entertain yourself within the world. The other is concerned
with getting people out of the same old boring xp ruts. At first glance
they seem almost contradictory in purpose. Please take a moment to read
them and post your thoughts.

On the news board, the discussion centers around RP and how to advertise
to others that you're interested in RP and getting connected and playing
off each other. There are some good articles in previous LT issues about
finding people with similar interests as well as ones about how you can
approach others in character and just showing off your RP to others.

Several of those articles can be found in issues in the archives. Just click
on a link to jump to the issue in which the aritcle was published.


  Player Community/Character Communities and making them work separately
    and together   

  Finding People With Similar Interests

  Conveying Your RP to Others

  Evil Characters: Not a Jerk of a Player

  How to be Good without all that sugar

  Dealing With Unexpected Twists and Role Playing Off Others

  New Ways to Play

  Action and Reaction: To Get It, You Gotta Provide It

There are likely more and varied ones, so feel free to poke around
and see what gems of wisdom you might find within the back issues.

Have a great week!

-Kaige
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                   LegendMUD Calendar of Events                  |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'
          [All times are system time unless otherwise specified]

                               NOVEMBER
                         Su  M Tu  W Th  F Sa
                                            1
                          2  3  4  5  6  7  8
                          9 10 11 12 13 14 15
                         16 17 18 19 20 21 22
                         23 24 25 26 27 28 29
                         30

Tuesday,  November  11th    7:00 pm          Stock C(h)ar Pk Tourney
Thursday, November  13th    7:30 pm          Q&A in the OOC Auditorium
Thursday, November  20th    7:30 pm          Q&A in the OOC Auditorium
Thursday, November  27th    U.S. Thanksgiving - No Q&A scheduled 

Coming in November:
  Pirate Treasure Hunt

___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|            Don't Miss The Stock C(h)ar Pk Tourney!              |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'

When: November 11, 2003 - 7:00pm System Time    
Where: Port 3333    (telnet legendmud.org 3333 instead of 9999)

How does this tournament work, you ask?

Everyone will get a clone of the stock character with the name of their
choice. You can use the name of one of your characters or you can make a
new name up. Every character will have 100 in every stat and will also
have cause spells, however the only equipment you will get is a weapon!
Well, okay, we might let you wear a loincloth and a halter top ;)

Weapons to choose from will be as follows:

          a longbow
          the gae-bolg
          staff of brahman
          The devil's trident
          a sharp shark jawbone
          katar
          huge spiked quarterstaff
          a purdurable war hammer

You don't have to register early, but we're encouraging it so that we can
be ready to go as quickly as possible! Mudmail LadyAce and Haley with
your character name and your weapon of choice!

Hope to see you all there!

-Haley
___                                                                   ___
\  |-----------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                        Recent Updates                           |__\
   '-----------------------------------------------------------------'

    /\                       CODE UPDATES
   /  \     
  /    \    MISC CHANGES
 /_    _\     o ()s will now appear around invisible characters that you
   |  |         can see through special means, on whoconference.
   |  |       o Attempting to wear something in an already occupied slot
   |  |         will now give a better description of what you're already
   |__|         wearing.
    /\        o Mana costs from dancing sword won't be so high if your
   /  \         target isn't there.
  /    \      o Sustained breath now wears off when you leave the water,
 /_    _\       when using the skill.
   |  |       o Listen skill gives messages to other people in the room
   |  |         when actively used.
   |  |       o If you stop to rest while hunting, you will now lose the
   |__|         trail.
    /\      
   /  \     BUG FIXES
  /    \      o Attempting to quickdraw a two-handed weapon will give a
 /_    _\       better error message.
   |  |       o Ditch all will now display a proper error message if
   |  |         nobody in the room is following you.
   |  |       o When dashing you will only see "You lost the trail" if
   |__|         you were actually hunting.
    /\        o If you die from being hit by chain lightning, the victim
   /  \         will now get the proper message.
  /    \      o Being recalled while asleep will no longer force you to
 /_    _\       try and look.
   |  |       o Vehicles can no longer have negative fuel values.
   |  |       o Random demon kills now solved.  Film at 11pm.
   |  |       o Sleeper hold in wrestling should now render the victim
   |__|         unconscious.
    /\        o Multiple crashing bugs fixed.
   /  \       o Camouflage spell on longer targets imms
  /    \      o You will no longer get the "you effortlessly scale the
 /_    _\       stone wall and jump down the other side" message if you are
   |  |         encumbered.
   |  |       o When a timed bag decays it will no longer destroy its
   |  |         contents.
   |__|       o Casting bless on someone who is already blessed will no
    /\          longer cost mana and will give you an appropriate message.
   /  \       o If you can't kneel somewhere you will now give you a
  /    \        better message.
 /_    _\     o Dipping is now disabled.
   |  |       o You can no longer fish while prone.
   |  |       o Clan housing costs per day should show up in pittsburgh now.
   |  |     
   |__|     
    /\                     HELP FILE UPDATES
   /  \     
  /    \    General Topics:
 /_    _\        COLOR
   |  |     
   |  |                        AREA UPDATES
   |  |     
   |__|     If you want to suggest specific improvements or new additions
    /\      to existing areas please don't hesitate to submit them with
   /  \     the idea/bug/typo commands or drop a mudmail to the builder
  /    \    currently responsible for the area (check AREAINFO).
 /_    _\   
   |  |     LEGENDS OF THE PAST
   |  |          A few tweaks on Clutch. Fix for Barabas.
   |  |     GENERIC ANIMALS
   |__|          Generic snakes will now give a bit of snakeskin when
    /\           skinned instead of leather. Bug/typo fixes.
   /  \     MEDIEVAL SEAS, ANCIENT NAZCA, SOUTH SEAS
  /    \         Some rooms changed to feel bigger.
 /_    _\   1930'S PITTSBURGH
   |  |          Fix for the topple teacher.
   |  |     AFRICAN SAVANNA
   |  |          Snakes will now give that bit of snakeskin when skinned
   |__|          instead of leather, as appropriate.
    /\      THE ALHAMBRA
   /  \          Complaints to Jose about the service shouldn't have
  /    \         weird capitalization issues. Bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\   ANASAZI AMERICA
   |  |          You can now grind your own cornmeal. Bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     ANCIENT EGYPT
   |  |          Generic message for pushing north. The wall doesn't give
   |__|          unless you get the specific keywords. Bug/typo fixes.
    /\      ANCIENT GREECE
   /  \          Some bug/typo fixes, dresses most of the human mobs up a
  /    \         little bit more, tweaks the assists on the Phaiakians,
 /_    _\        adds a few new mobs and a few new rooms, Odysseus' bow
   |  |          has been updated - if you want a new one, find someone
   |  |          that can get it for you.
   |  |     ARABIAN NIGHTS
   |__|          Increases some gold around town.
    /\      BEOWULF
   /  \          Cries for help from the belly of the whale will no
  /    \         longer be of any use.
 /_    _\   PORT OF LONDON
   |  |          You can feed the dogs here like in Tara. Confusion
   |  |          between bartender/tavernkeeper cleared up. Some tweaks
   |  |          to the vampire and captains.
   |__|     ROMAN BRITAIN
    /\           Wealthy merchant no longer replies twice to "wine". Typo
   /  \          fix on old husband's "talking gibberish" act.
  /    \         Legionaries check they have the damaged equipment before
 /_    _\        asking you to repair it for them. Some xp tweaking and
   |  |          bug/typo fixes.
   |  |     SAN FRANCISCO
   |  |          Move costs for "muddy streets" only reduced when its not
   |__|          raining or storming. Bug/typo fixes.
    /\      ST DENNIS ABBEY
   /  \          Novices check that they have a robe before asking you to
  /    \         mend it. Bug/typo fixes.
 /_    _\   VICEROYAL PERU
   |  |          Tweaks the hag - be more careful when fighting her.
   |  |          Captain should only do his ACT_ARRIVE spiel if someone
   |  |          without a boat arrives. Drunks shouldn't be sprawling
   |__|          across the tables if they're not in the tavern. Some
    /\           rooms changed to feel bigger. Bug/typo fixes.
   /  \     WW1 SOMME
  /    \         Pilots should be less likely to have their planes stall
 /_    _\        and go crashing to the ground if they run out of fuel.
   |  |     1802 ALASKA, ANCIENT and MEDIEVAL ANDES, ANCIENT EGYPT,
   |  |     CELTIC IRELAND, ARABIAN NIGHTS, AZTECS, BENGAL, THE CRUSADES
   |  |     DREAMING, FRENCH INDIAN WAR, GYPSY CARNIVAL, MELBOURNE, 
   |__|     PICTISH COUNTRY, PIRATE'S DEN, ROMANIA, TEA ROUTE, and
    /\      VIKING SKANDINAVIA
   /  \          Various minor bugs and/or typos fixed.
  /    \    
 /_    _\                  In Progress Area Updates
   |  |     
   |  |     This section is intended to share what builders are working
   |  |     on behind the scenes. It is not a perfect record of progress
   |__|     as all builders do not commit updates every week. Badgering
    /\      builders about their progress will get you flogged.
   /  \     
  /    \         Chimera       Midsummer's (Shakespeare play)
 /_    _\        LadyAce       Kleinstadt (Update)
   |  |          Kae           Larderello (Dante's Hell)
   |  |          Kaige         El Dorado
   |  |          Kheldar       Medieval Trade
   |__|          Nestor        Ancient Carthage

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                     LegendMUD Connection Analysis
                            October 2003

                       Peak Mortal Players 53
                         Average Peak was 37
                    Peak PKOK Enabled Players 30
                     Peak PKE Enabled Players 11
                    Peak Accept All Characters 6

             PKEnabled Characters represent approximately
                       10% of active players.
             PKOKenabled Characters represent approximately
                       46% of active players.
             Accept All Characters represent approximately
   4% of all active characters and 9% of active pkok enabled characters.

The first two tables below show the Average Mortal Players, Average PKOK
Enabled Players, and the number that were "Accept All" connected to
Legend by hour of the day as polled approximately on the hour system time
during the period noted above.

The third table shows the same averages calculated by the day of week.

              hour  0  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 10 11
              ------------------------------------------
              avg  24 22 17 14 13 11 12 15 17 20 21 24
              pkok 12 10  7  5  5  4  4  5  6  8  9 11
              aas   1  1  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0
              pke   2  1  1  0  0  0  0  1  1  2  2  3


              hour 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
              ------------------------------------------
              avg  27 30 32 32 32 31 29 30 31 31 31 27
              pkok 12 14 15 16 16 16 15 15 15 14 14 13
              aas   1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1
              pke   3  3  4  4  3  3  3  3  3  3  2  2


              day   MON  TUE  WED  THU  FRI  SAT  SUN
              ------------------------------------------
              avg    27   25   24   24   23   22   23
              pke     2    2    3    2    2    2    2
              pkok   12   11   11   11   10    9   10
              aas     1    0    1    0    1    1    1


             MON          TUE          WED          THU     
        AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA
     ---------------+------------+------------+------------
      0: 23  2 13  1| 25  1 11  0| 23  2 11  1| 23  1 11  0
      1: 19  1  8  1| 23  1 11  0| 20  2  9  1| 23  1 11  0
      2: 15  0  5  1| 18  1  7  0| 16  1  7  1| 16  0  7  0
      3: 12  0  6  0| 15  0  5  0| 14  0  6  0| 14  0  6  0
      4: 12  0  6  0| 13  0  5  0| 13  0  4  0| 10  0  4  0
      5: 10  0  5  0| 12  0  5  0| 12  1  5  0|  9  0  3  0
      6: 12  0  5  0| 10  1  5  0| 12  1  6  0| 11  0  4  0
      7: 15  0  6  0| 13  1  5  0| 15  1  6  0| 15  1  5  0
      8: 18  1  7  0| 18  2  7  0| 17  1  7  0| 17  1  7  0
      9: 21  2  9  0| 20  2 10  0| 19  2  7  0| 19  2  8  0
     10: 25  3 10  0| 21  2 11  0| 24  3 11  0| 23  3  9  0
     11: 30  6 14  1| 26  2 11  0| 25  3 11  0| 25  3 11  0
     12: 32  5 14  1| 29  4 14  1| 28  3 11  1| 27  2 13  1
     13: 37  3 16  1| 33  5 17  1| 30  3 14  1| 31  2 14  1
     14: 39  4 20  1| 35  5 18  1| 32  5 14  1| 33  3 15  1
     15: 40  5 20  1| 33  5 17  1| 34  7 16  3| 32  2 15  1
     16: 35  3 18  1| 33  4 15  1| 34  6 17  3| 35  2 16  1
     17: 33  3 18  1| 30  3 14  1| 34  3 16  2| 35  4 18  1
     18: 35  4 18  1| 29  3 14  0| 31  5 17  2| 31  2 16  1
     19: 35  3 17  1| 30  2 13  1| 30  4 15  1| 33  2 16  1
     20: 37  3 19  1| 34  4 15  1| 33  4 16  1| 35  3 18  1
     21: 35  3 17  2| 33  3 15  2| 29  2 13  1| 32  3 17  2
     22: 35  1 14  1| 30  2 13  1| 30  2 13  1| 30  3 15  1
     23: 32  2 13  1| 28  3 14  1| 27  2 13  0| 25  1 13  0
     
                   FRI          SAT          SUN
              AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA
           ---------------+------------+------------
            0: 25  2 14  0| 20  2 10  1| 27  3 14  1
            1: 25  2 13  1| 21  3  8  1| 23  2 10  1
            2: 20  1 10  0| 21  1  7  0| 14  0  5  0
            3: 12  1  6  0| 16  1  4  0| 16  0  5  0
            4: 11  1  5  0| 16  1  4  0| 17  0  6  0
            5:  9  0  3  0| 15  0  4  0| 14  0  5  0
            6: 11  0  2  0| 14  0  3  0| 12  0  4  0
            7: 15  0  5  0| 17  1  6  0| 13  0  5  0
            8: 19  2  7  0| 17  1  5  0| 16  0  6  0
            9: 20  1  8  0| 21  1  8  0| 18  1  7  0
           10: 19  1  8  0| 19  1  7  0| 20  2  7  0
           11: 21  2 10  0| 20  1  8  0| 22  2  9  0
           12: 29  3 15  1| 22  2  9  0| 20  1  9  0
           13: 32  3 17  1| 24  2 10  1| 21  1  8  0
           14: 31  3 15  1| 27  3 11  1| 27  3 12  1
           15: 31  3 15  1| 28  2 12  1| 31  4 15  2
           16: 29  3 15  1| 28  3 13  1| 31  3 16  1
           17: 28  3 14  1| 25  2 13  2| 30  2 15  2
           18: 25  1 11  0| 25  3 13  1| 27  3 14  2
           19: 25  2 11  0| 26  5 14  1| 26  2 14  2
           20: 28  3 12  1| 27  4 14  2| 29  3 16  1
           21: 28  2 11  1| 27  4 13  2| 30  3 15  1
           22: 25  3 12  1| 32  3 14  2| 32  3 16  1
           23: 22  2 10  1| 29  3 14  1| 28  3 14  1
___                                                                    ___
\  |------------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|      LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World   |__\
   '------------------------------------------------------------------'

               Seifer has reached 100 million experience!
               Zedikae has reached 100 million experience!

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                        The Offer, Part 1

Gaslight flickered cheerfully over the assorted drinkers gathered around
the common room of the hostel. A raucous group of big game hunters
haw-haw loudly at each other's exaggerated stories, traders bicker and
barter over their final selling price and adventurers excitedly plan the
next stage of their big expedition. Hunched over by the bar sits a
solitary figure, his back turned on the lively burble of the room.
Occasionally the other patrons sneak a quick glance his way, but all of
them carefully avoid standing anywhere near him.

Preacher Kaine was totally oblivious to the looks he was receiving, his
attention completely focused on the goblet of wine in front of him. Brow
furrowed in concentration, he stretches out his fingers very slowly
before closing them around the goblet. There is a fine hiss as they come
into contact with the metal, and it wobbles unsteadily as he pulls it
closer to his lips. Tipping it up, the deep red liquid spills from its
vessel into his mouth. Rather than disappearing down his gullet, it
splashes, somehow, right through his body, all over the stool and floor.
All around on the floor beneath him is the evidence that this is far from
his first glass. The room tenses, sensing the impending outburst.

'DAMMIT!' he roars, slamming his fist down on the bar, actually passing
right through it with a loud sizzle. 'A drink, dammit! Just one drink!'
He goes back to studying the goblet, and the room slowly resumes their
conversations. Giving a momentary shiver, he mutters to no-one in
particular 'Brrr, sssomeone must have just walked over my grave!', just
before looking down and uttering a hearty obscenity. A thin evil point of
a long dagger protrudes a good few inches from his chest, right through
where his heart would be. The sad-faced fey assassin lurking behind him
chuckles quietly before withdrawing Nightfang, which hisses slightly, and
returning it to its sheath. The preacher rubs his chest a little, as if
easing a slight sting, but appears relatively unfazed after seeing who it
is.

'I hear you're hiding behind bars these days, as opposed to that book of
yours.' says the assassin with a wink, taking note of the large iron-edge
Bible balanced on his lap.

The preacher sighs and nods, before reaching up and taking a firm grip of
the air in front of him. A fine tracery of light splays out from his
hands, and the careful observer can discern the shape of the bars he is
holding appear in the air. 'Hardly hiding though.' he replies, dejection
plain in his voice. He gives the bars a good rattle before letting go,
and they fade away again.

'Well you know, Kaine...', whispers Dias Jax, leaning in close to his
insubstantial ear, 'I know that castle as well as any...' Noting the
doubt in Kaine's face he continues with a sly little grin, 'And I do have
a knack for breaking through those pesky, pesky locks...' Kaine paused to
think before turning around on his stool to face him directly. 'If you
ask nicely, I might just feel the need to spite the people who spurned me
what seems so long ago.' the assassin finally added with a sneer.

Kaine pondered for a moment, before shaking his head with a humourless
chuckle, 'Ahh, the locksss. They're the one thing that are pretty well
maintained down here...'

'Not well enough, I can assure you.' answered the assassin, with a laugh
and a wink, 'I lived in that castle for a long time friend, I know nooks
and crannies that even they don't know - that's what I do after all...'

Another patron, a strange looking fellow with bulbous eyes, gestures at
the comfortable surroundings and interjects mockingly, 'I never knew that
Carian Trag's dungeon is called the Wazizi Guest House...'

Kaine nodded and shrugged, 'Ahh, I've learnt a little astral projection,
to passss the time.' His image flickers slightly before fading to a
translucent blur. It shimmers for a moment before regaining some
solidity. When it is fully reformed he smiles grimly at the stranger, who
returns to his drink.

'So then, Kaine, I'll tell you what.' resumes the assassin, 'Since you're
an old friend, and I do feel the need to spite MoiraGwyn, I'll break you
out, given the time to do so. It could take a while, though - some locks
are very difficult to crack.'

The preacher nodded again thoughtfully for a moment before asking
tentatively, 'And the guardsss?'

The assassin flashed an unsettling smile at him and answered, 'I've spent
a lifetime killing from the shadows, old friend, a few more times won't
taint my soul any more.'

Kaine grinned evilly in reply.

                            =-=-=-=-=-=-=

You might catch sight of Kaine's astral projection flitting around from
time to time, instead of a fire and brimstone preacher, it will appear as
a 'strangely shimmering preacher'. If its just standing around you'll
recognise it if you see 'The preacher in front of you wavers slightly,
shimmering around the edge.'
     ___                                                          ___
     \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
     /__|                     Clan News                          |__\
        '--------------------------------------------------------'

                  Seven Circles Inducts New Members

In recent days, Kaine, Faelanis, Raist, and Arial have all joined the
ranks of cocktail-drinking, demon-bullying, fashion-aware, and overall
high society evil, the Seven Circles.

                  Congratulate them when you see them!

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

There are currently 22 RP clans and 3 PK clan. This leaves open slots for
seven (7) more clans to form. For more information, read HELP CLAN and see
the clan information list via the CLANS command while logged into the
game. For a basic handbook and reference guide for players interested in
starting and running a clan, we recommend that before you even type FORM,
you visit: http://www.legendmud.org/Reference/gm.html.
     ___                                                          ___
     \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
     /__|                    The PK Front                        |__\
        '--------------------------------------------------------'

Two weeks ago the Infernals had the most members active on the PK Front.
They were followed fairly closely by the Grendels, the Prophets and the
Syndicate. The Insititute of Healing Arts and the Knights of Legend were
represented by a couple of members out in the field. The following clans
had at least one member involved in a pk skirmish: The Necromancers, The
Fields of Albion, Seven Circles, the Disciples of {S}, and the Hermetic
Order.

This past week, the front of the field looked about the same with the
Infernals once again having the most members active with pkill. Once
again they were followed by the Grendels, the Prophets and the Syndicate,
but with what seemed a little less gusto. The Necromancers and the Armed
Forces of Legend also saw a couple of members out in the action. The
following clans had at least one member involved in a pk skirmish: Seven
circles and The Disciples of {S}.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Two weeks ago there were 132 pk-related deaths involving 45 different
characters. Of those 45 characters, 19 of them were accept all and 28 of
them were PKE at the time. There were 75 pke vs pke battles that ended in
death (14 of those were in a string of multi's).

This past week there were 68 pk-related deaths involving 41 different
characters. Of those 41 characters, 19 of them were accept all and 23 of
them were PKE at the time. There were 45 pke vs pke battles that ended in
death. There are currently 74 PKE characters and 833 PKOK characters. So
come on, let's get YOUR name up in lights! We can't report on it if you
don't tell us!

If you witness or commit any glorious or nefarious deeds, send a short
report to us at the LT. If you are looking for a fight, recruiting, or
anything else related to PK (not necessarily PK Clan related), send it
in! It's free AND you'll get a prize token! Be a celebrity, the envy of
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                         The Offer, Part II

Another place, another time.

As darkness crept across the glittering spires of Carian Trag, two
figures stole over to the formidable gates, invisible to the patrolling
guards. 'This lock is gonna take forever to pick,' muttered the assassin
faintly as he examined the impressive mechanism.

The translucent image of a preacher nodded in agreement. 'Oh yesss, I
ssspent quite the age camped here before, trying to pick thisss thing.'

'I'm a patient man.' he answered before setting to work...

Sometime later... 'Tell me though... What DID you get locked up for?'

The preacher paused for a minute to consider his answer, and glanced
around to maintain there was no-one within earshot. 'Well, I've alwaysss
maintained my innocence.' he began carefully. He stopped again to watch
the reaction of Dias Jax. Apparantly satisfied, he continued in a
whisper, 'But between you and me, I managed to sssteal into the castle
treasury and acquire a sssizeable donation from Ashimar'sss tax
coffersss.'

The assassin halted at his task for a moment, before flashing a sidelong
grin and a wink at his companion. 'I dare say I wouldn't mind a second
heist on the way out...', he chuckled before resuming his fiddling.

Maybe it was just a shimmer of his astral projection, but it seemed the
countenance of the preacher paled somewhat. 'Remember not to sssign the
guestbook on the way out - it kind of gave me away.' He scuffled his feet
around in the dirt before saying more to himself, 'They must of
recognised my handwriting...'

The assassin interrupted his mumblings - 'Oooooh... I think just maybe
even if I did, I'm a bit of a tough shadow to catch.'

This snapped Kaine out of his private reverie, and he wheeled about to
face Dias Jax bug-eyed and fearful. 'Beware Raewyn!' he urged, teeth
clenched. 'I underestimated that floozy of Ashimar'sss!'

The assassin went to place a steadying hand on the quaking preacher,
which passed right through his shoulder. He compromised by silently
putting one finger to his lips and pointing to the ramparts above. A
flickering lantern had paused in its rounds, and no doubt the guard
holding it was currently peering over the edge into the gloom below.
After a couple of breathless minutes, it eventually continued on its way.
Dias nodded slowly before whispering, 'Raewyn and I have had words.' He
paused a moment to check for movement above before continuing softly.
'But since then... I'm not the same person, and she's not the same
either.' he added cryptically.

Kaine was silent, a look of perplexion on his face. However he knew
better than to probe further after catching the look on the assassins
face in the dim light. Instead he added, with gesture towards the gate,
'Well, ssshe managed to track me down and drag me back. Not a fact I'm
particularly proud of.' he spat.

'I'm accustomed to putting up a fight,' winked the master assassin in a
gently mocking tone, well aware of the wide yellow streak rumoured to run
across the preacher's belly.

He pouted and whined, 'Oh, I fought alright - ssscratched, bit and clawed
all the way back here', looking indignant. 'But having sssomeone jump up
and down on your chest for a while tendsss to knock the wind out of you -
ssshe'sss sssurprisingly heavy!'

'I bite a tad harder than most, despite my age' he grinned in reply, 'And
it's a good thing I don't tend to lie down.' he added, barely stifling a
laugh.

Kaine visably winced and added gingerly, 'It might all depend on where
ssshe kicksss you beforehand though.'

Dias Jax almost snorted and lost the grip on his lockpicking tools whilst
he struggled to overcome a fit of giggles. 'Hmmm, I can see your point.
I'll have to take to wearing something protective.' he finally answered
after regaining some composure.

'Hey, I ssstill have trouble walking ssstraight-legged.' grimaced Kaine,
tone quite hurt. 'Look, thisss isss bringing back sssome truly /painful/
memoriesss - I'm going to have to have a lie down...' The preacher's
image began to fade as he added, 'I appreciate your offer to spring me
out of thisss dump though, good luck getting in!'

By the time he had finished the sentence he had faded away completely.
The assassin continued to work on silently into the night.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                       Preparing for a Picnic

Lilac spent the day getting the last minute things she needed for the
picnic, baking cookies, cakes, making sure there was enough food to  enjoy
and making sure his gifts were boxed and wrapped; she didn't realize how
much there was to do with getting a surprise picnic organized, trying to
get things done without even peaking anyone's suspicions. She couldn't
help but laugh as she baked the cookies only to see little Bjorns eyes
peeking over the table as the scent of the cookies drew him as a fly to
honey. She told him they were for a special occasion, she leaned down to
hand him a cookie as she kissed his forehead. She instantly knew she
might have been in trouble since she understood Bjorn's thrill for
telling secrets and feared his running straight to Gad with the news!  She
thought quickly and remembered a gift that had given to her for Bjorn,
and she reached behind the chair and pulled out the TinkerToys that
Maloth dropped off	as a surprise for him. His eyes grew wide as he saw
the new toys and with one breath he stumbled to snatch them up and
hollered as he tore from the house 'Show'n Helga ma!! T'anks Malof !!'

Lilac slowly breathed a breath of thanks as Bjorn was distracted long
enough as to not question about all the food, and gifts, and decorations
lying about!! She continued cooking, packing, wrapping and nervously
awaiting Gads return home so she may surprise him with the picnic she  had
been planning. She grabbed the picnic basket she borrowed from Moiragwyn
and The package that Gad's barbarian friend Tusk had haplessly thrown on
the table with a grin the night before. She grabbed the picnic blanket
and a few torches to provide a soft slow for the party that evening at
the fjord.

Heading for the door, she stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes widened  as
her husband stepped thru the door...

She looked up into her husbands eyes and smiled at him, leaned up on her
tiptoes and kissed him lightly on his lips. She bit her bottom lip and
blushed slightly as she saw his eyes gaze to picnic basket, torches,
blanket and gifts she had in her arms, her gaze followed his and looked
down at the items she was trying to juggle, she looked back up at her
husband and saw a slightly confused look in his eyes, she leaned up to
him once more and kissed his cheek and trying to buy herself just a few
more minutes time she whispered, 'Tusk was right, what castle moat have
you been doing battle in this time?' She winked at him as he quickly
looked down at himself to see his clothing covered from head to toe in
mud, blood, hay and quite a few more stains that were unrecognizable.
'Sorry Skonne' he mumbled, His weight shifted as he tried to cover the
mud he had tracked in onto her freshly laid floor. A smile lit her face
as she realized her distraction had worked. She kissed him once more
before her tone changed to a playful one, 'Now, go clean yourself up a
bit, and join me in Norway when your thru, I have a surprise for you'  Gad
has already begun to tell her the story of the huge battle he had just
raged on in Romania as he turned toward the bedroom door. She took the
opportunity to grab the jug of wine that was brought for the occasion by
Susano just that morning, hurried out the door and made her way to the
fjord to prepare the picnic before he would join her....

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                         The Wedding Note

As Corvin entered his room, he noticed a bird bouncing about on his
bassinet. When he approached the bird, it had a note attached to its  left
leg. He gently removed the note from the fledgling and sat down on the
bed to read it...

        Dearest Corvin,

		I am truly disappointed to find your absence at the
		wedding of Duckon and I. I understand you have your
		reasons. Perhaps I shall explain it to you. It was a
		bright afternoon on an October day. October 20th. I
		gathered with The Lovely Lilac, Ransom, and of course,
		Duckon. Only a few hours left and we still were deciding
		on our rings. Due to my lack of participation, I was left
		to choose between two rings my peers created as examples.
		They were excellent examples but I was only able to
		choose one. Shortly, we received our final rings with
		glee. I started to tremble and regain my nervousness. My
		mind flashed back to my previous so called wedding. It
		almost happened but it was ruined by cruelity of those
		around me. I took a deep breath as I stood up and shook
		my head to come back into the world. I glanced at the
		clock and noticed the time. It was time. Time to go. Have
		I ever been this nervous? We all stood up and carefully
		but quickly left the room. When we got to the cathedral,
		it was as beautiful as heaven was ever described. The
		shining candles, the pairs of doves representing my love
		for Duckon, the sparkling waterfall we discovered. It was
		absolutely breath taking. It was almost time. Our guests
		began to arrive. One guest after another. My peers and
		Duckon's gathered to watch us bond eternally. Ransom, our
		priest, started the wedding. He spoke for a moment about
		the love we are about to receive. How we are giving our
		lives to each other. I enjoyed hearing him speak. He
		asked us to exchange vows and rings. It was magical. As
		usual on a wedding, I noticed several people sobbing or
		crying. Even those who are grown adults. I was quietly
		crying to myself. Our guests granted our gifts to us. A
		partridge pear tree for our house, a silver harmonica, a
		bouquet of goldenrod, and much more. It was a pleasure
		receiving them. Our peers suggested a celebration after
		that. Nobody disagreed. There was live music, food, and a
		lot of conversation going around. It was getting late and
		our visitors were leaving. The wedding was over.
		Beautiful. Duckon and I left the cathedral, holding
		hands. The remaining guests left behind us, probably
		jealous. Corvin, as much as I wish you were there, I hope
		this note will explain what you missed. I hope you
		enjoyed it as much as I have.

                                          Love,
                                          Your sister, Jasra

Corvin sat up and wiped a tear from his cheek. He truly enjoyed the
letter. It proved to him, that his sister did notice his absence. He was
sorry that he didn't attend but he knew she understood. He carefully
stood up, noticing the baby bird carefully trotting down his windowsill.
He took the baby bird in the center of his palm and slid the note in his
pocket. Corvin slowly walked out of the room, sorting all the moments
Jasra mentioned. To him too, it was a great wedding.

            Friends in High Places, Apparitions in Dirty Places

We get the strangest patrons at this inn. Nevermind that The Salutation
is off any main road save that into Nottingham, and who wants to go there
outside of Market Day, anyway. We still get the weirdest patrons here,
and we serving girls have to deal with them. Lucky us.

Most patrons enter by the door, either on their feet or on all fours
(they occasionally leave on a stretcher, though). This one just sort of
faded into existence, and I'll be cursed if I could tell you where he
came from. From the soiled, ragged looks of him it was nowhere pleasant,
though. Thomas scowled at it, probably more interested in whether it was
a buying customer than what it was exactly. Thomas isn't picky.

Another patron -- Lord Marcel is a regular here, and I should add, one
that tips well for ... some services -- tipped his hat amiably to the
apparition. It glanced about as if it had trouble seeing, and hissed,
'Marcel! Are you there?!'

'Hello there, astral projection,' Lord Marcel said sedately, not the
least surprised with his ghostly visitor.

'Ah, excellent,' it hissed. 'I'm ssstill not very proficient at thisss,
unfortunately.'

'You'll get better yet with practice,' Lord Marcel suggested.

The apparition grinned at Thomas. 'Fooled thisss fellow, anyway.'

'Well, that's not much of an achievement,' Lord Marcel mumbled, sipping
his brandy. 'I could bring your soul into the Circles, I suppose, if not
your body.'

The apparition chuckled. 'Ahh, true, I guesss.'

'How's that sound, induct your spirit and send you a few succubi to
soothe up those long nights?'

'My sssoul, eh? Yesss, I guesss I ssstill have it around here
sssomewhere,' the apparition hissed.

Lord Marcel shrugged. 'Finding MoiraGwyn and convincing her to stop
money-making long enough to lose at poker might take me a bit,' he said.
'And while the lawyers are scary, they don't seem to be actually doing a
lot.'

The apparition nodded, shimmering at the edges. 'Unfortunate.'

'Alternatively we break the castle down and set it all on fire and snatch
you from the smoking ruins,' Lord Marcel suggested.

'Ooh, I do like the sssound of that,' the ragged apparition hissed.

'Well, we'll have Dinah draw up the battle plans, then,' Lord Marcel
agreed. 'That kid is great with kerosene.'

As the apparition rubbed its hands together at the thought, Lord Marcel
inquired, 'I presume you still want the succubi, though?'

The apparition hesitated as if checking a mental dictionary. I didn't
know what that was either. Eventually it said, 'Erm.'

Lord Marcel said, 'Seeing as that they visit men in their dreams, bars
aren't an issue to them. You can always use them to bribe the guards into
granting you a little more yard time.' He chuckled.

'Ohh, ssso thatsss what they're called.' The apparition nodded. 'Ssso,
erm, how do you get them to work? "Hey you, dream girl - go get 'im!"'

Lord Marcel chuckled. 'That should do it, really. After all, they'll have
instructions to obey you, not devour you. We like to keep things simple,
after all most demons aren't all that bright. Point at a wall and
exclaim, break that down -- that works. Get more technical than that and
you'll mostly get stupid looks.' He sipped his brandy again.

The apparition looked thoughtful. 'Good help isss alwaysss hard to find,'
it agreed.

Lord Marcel nodded. 'Isn't it, though.'

I wish I could have stayed to hear the rest of that conversation, I
really do. Demons and jail breaks and whatnot. But there haven't been any
noblemen offering to break my husband out of Nottingham Jail. I guess
that it really does help to have friends in high places.

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

            A Bathing Norseman, a Fjord, and Suprises...

'Bah,' he grumbled, 'I gots to take a bath? Sometimes min kone has a
funny idear of what be right fer me. An' what be Tusker knowin' about  it?
I betcha he ain't taken a bath since I throwed him in the river a couple
years ago.' The large Norseman filled his tub with cold water. Actually
his 'tub' was a horse trough he had 'found' on one of his trips a  viking.
He did not like the smell of the soap she had given him... it reminded
him of kvinne. 'What kinda Norseman smells like this,' he grumbled as he
dumped water over his head. He undid his braids and washed the hair of
his head and beard. He threw the hair back out of his face and saw a
young pilgrim heading to the abbey staring at him as he bathed. 'Wha? Ya
ain't never seen a man takin' a bath afore?' He laughed heartily when  the
astonished young woman's face turned a bright red and she fled from the
road to the safe confines of the abbey gates.

It wasn't unusual for him to bathe on the outside the cottage near the
road. He enjoyed the blushes from the women who came to the abbey to try
to pay for their 'sins' in the abbey, and watching the men try to avert
their eyes. He actually bathed, for these reasons, more than others  might
guess, but he was not about to tell anyone that. He enjoyed tormenting
the abbey goers almost as much as he did the ritters. He finished  rinsing
off and stood up to dry off, starting with his head and beard. He stood
there in nothing but what the gods had graced him with, putting the
braids back in his hair and beard when he caught sight of another  pilgrim
looking at him. He laughed aloud as he watched her rush off, touching  her
fingers to her forehead and each shoulder. Quickly he dressed and looked
at himself in the water. His norse chain was slightly damaged from
fighting with pirates and sidhe, and from beating up guards and those
scum ritters, but fjellbrann seemed to still pulse, ready for more, a
small nick in its handle the only signs of battle. Strapping the mighty
hammer to his back, the large Norseman headed to the fjord to meet his
wife.

He arrived at the fjord just as Hans was leaving. Hans nudged him and
winked as he walked away grinning. He walked a little further and was
stopped in his steps by the sight of torches. The light from the torches
reflected beautifully off the water, and the flickering light gave  almost
a magical look to the slight fog forming where water met cool norse air.
He smiled even more broadly when he saw his wife, her smile outshining
the torches, and her beauty putting the fjord to shame. 'Skjonn, what
this be for, eh?'

The smile fell from her face for a moment, but then returned as she
hugged him tightly. 'Happy Anniversary, my vakker fjell.!'

'Bah,' he thought, 'anniversary...' Fighting and pillaging had taken it
from his mind. He looked at his feet, but she kissed him tenderly and
said, 'Come here, I made us a picnic, and Susano sent a jug of his  wine.'

It was true, there was food enough for an army of Norseman, and the wine
was a special batch that Susano had shared once with him. He ate and  took
a long drink from the wine and grinned. She grabbed the braids of his
beard and looked into his eyes, and then smiled again before pulling him
into a long kiss. 'Mmmm, that is good wine,' she said, grinning slyly.  He
was just about ready to show her how good the wine really was when he
noticed a small boat carrying two men coming to the edge of the fjord...

               =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

               Guardian Salamanders - Woman's Best Friend

MoiraGwyn stared at a gilded cage of carrier pigeons.

'Well?' She eyed them expectantly, arms crossed.

They returned her stare, blank and befuddled. She turned away briskly and
headed back down the hall.

From around the corner he quietly watched the scene. The air rushing past
still held her scent as she walked by. Flowers, light and crisp, as if a
spring garden trailed her. He followed as silently as he could.

He found her in the news room, where scrolls and newspapers were brought
regularly to be sorted through for anything the King and Queen would wish
to know.

'Nothing?' She was enquiring with the elderly refugee who now lived and
worked in the kingdom. He was in multi-lingual, having traveled
throughout many lands, and now gathered news for the de'Dannan's.

'No, yer Highness,' his head bowed from her, fearing some sort of wrath.
What he got instead was a hand resting upon his shoulder and a thank you.
She gently turned on her heel, leaving his shocked and bewildered face
behind.

How he loved that. The reactions of people who did not know her like he
did. Who expected the same from her as from other royals and always the
look of shock. Very few times did she pull herself up to full height and
don an expression of superiority, an attitude to accompany it. Only as a
defense, as it was not set in her nature to be so haughty.

Not that like Sidhe. But even still the 'husband' did not act like the
rest of his kind. Fair in face and lithe but for her- a smile that opened
the doors of the world. He seemed to love her so. But not as much as the
man watching her, such shame the sidhe would have to die.

He had lost her when she headed back down the castle hallway. He looked
about to trail her- some sign that she had gone be. A still-moving bush
leave, a ruffle of carpet from a foot, the scent of flowers...

...or the snout of a salamander that decided he was too close. Hello
Sparky.

He'd swear the creature would have raised an eyebrow at him had he had
one. A glance lingering before Sparky went and rested in the nearby
doorway, blocking the man from passing or viewing. Smart creature it was.

He took a moment to really look at Sparky. Sleek skin, taut over his long
body. And so large, the size of a large dog perhaps. He reminded him a
bit of a dog as well, in some mannerisms. But something in those eyes...
the way they looked at you, examined you, read you. You'd swear he was
human. And he knew things an animal couldn't fathom- a level of
intelligence he had never seen in a 'pet'.

Sparky lounged at the chambers of the Financial Advisor, Ashimar. He
didn't throw himself on the floor and start licking body parts like a dog
though; he had edged into the doorway, rested on his bottom, and leaned
against the doorframe. A guard. He was guarding her.

Long sleek red skin, from the blunt snout and pointed ears, to the long
tail he curled around him. Four legs, two in front like arms, two in back
like legs. Jointed knees and elbows, the skin wrinkled slightly at those
spots. His bulk glowed slightly, it was as if watching a clear volcano
harbor its molten lava. He had only once before seen that skin in action,
huge spires of spark and flame erupting, swirling to defend King Rowane
in battle. It was an amazing sight; he had never seen anything like it
before. No one nearby had, including the friends of the attacker, who
fled into the night, their clothes still on fire.

He looked at the skin down along Sparky's back and tail. What he had once
thought were vague lines, now appeared, at closer glance, to remind him
slightly of fire bolts. It was the shape, the edges and lines as they
raked across his back zigzagging side to side from back of head down to
near the tip of his tail. The tail which ended is a sharp point,
reminding him of spade in a deck of cards but he wasn't sure why.

Five fingers, five toes. Can they even be called that? Each set with a
sharp dark claw that somehow seemed almost metallic in the light. Perhaps
like Onyx, when in some lights it looks like stone and in some lights
like metal? Was he drumming those toes as he waited?? It was almost
unfathomable.

He looked at Sparky's face, which returned his gaze. Had he been
examining him as well? He wouldn't doubt it. Sparkys mouth was parted
slightly, the forked tip of his tongue poking out for a moment before
retreating. His snout, with its two nostrils, raised slightly at their
tops. Like the dragon nearby. He wondered for a moment if fire came from
Sparky's snout as well. A snuffle and then single wisps rose from the
nostrils. The man shifted his weight, could this creature know what he
was thinking?

Yellowed eyes with red centers were looking him over. He took the moment
to stare at Sparky's ears. Small and pointed but he has before seen them
flop downwards, one day when Rowane had him acting endearing and
puppy-like to make MoiraGwyn smile... and once when Rillifane got too
close and went to hug him about the neck. He wondered for a moment if the
ears were sharp, but felt they couldn't be.

Sparky turned to look into the room, moving as the Queen exited. He went
to her side and walked with her step by step, following into formation
and she walked directly into...

'Oh! I am so sorry, forgive me that I wasn't paying enough attention,
won't you?' Her face was flushed, embarrassed for having walked into him
without noticing.

Gods she was beautiful today. Curled tendrils of hair, loose from her
braid, framed her face and sprawled down over her shoulders.

'I am sorry your Highness, it was all my fault. You had seemed upset so I
came to see what was wrong and... If perhaps I could help?'

Her skin seemed more pale than usual, making her blue eyes seem like
looking up at a clear sky. She was all pink cheeks and ruby lips today.
Lips that kissed that damn Sidhe. How he longed to just take her in his
arms and kiss her. Standing so close at this moment... How he hated
Rowane.

'I was checking for signs of Ashimar. I have not seen hide nor hair of
him or the kids and I was worried.' Worry lines creased her forehead,
frown lines at the corners of her lips. 'Have you seen my boys?'

'No, I have not,' he shook his said as if to emphasize. 'Perhaps we can
go looking for them? I would be glad to help in any way possible...' He
couldn't help but glance at the salamander for many reasons. Sparky eyed
him casually and then snuffled his nose against his mistress's gown.

She peered at Sparky uncertainly, was she being used as a handkerchief or
was he being affectionate? She couldn't always tell.

'Yes,' She turned back to the stranger staying in the castle. 'Any help
would be appreciated.'

Sparky's tail lashed suddenly into the air in a brief yet elaborate swirl
before following them to the gates.

Yes, the man thought to himself as he looked at Sparky, point taken.

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