Volume Four Issue Five

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  .../________________/       running on         mud.aus.sig.net 9999
                                                 199.1.78.16   9999
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http://mud.aus.sig.net/                             ftp://mud.aus.sig.net/pub
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VOLUME FOUR, ISSUE FIVE                                     February 25, 1997
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                                 FROM THE IMPS
                                 
                         DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES

                               NEWS AND ARTICLES
                               LegendMeet Update
                           Ritters of the Real World
                                   
                                 SOCIAL EVENTS
                         The Legendary Times Personals
                         
                                LOVE LEGEND STYLE
                            The Dark Lord's Blessing
                               Hearts and Rosebuds
                    
                                  LEGENDITES
                                 
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                                FROM THE EDITOR:
Hi There!
Well I suppose one way to get back on schedule is to procrastinate until
you're two weeks late again, although that wasn't my intent :). Hopefully, I'm
back in the swing of things and the LTs will start being on time again. Since
I'm hoping to start publishing weekly again, just send submissions whenever
you have them and they're sure to be close to when an LT is due. Please send
your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address at
[email protected]. Letters to the editor and submissions are welcomed. Thanks
to several players for additional answers to the perpetual question below.
There's been a lot going on the last couple of weeks, so on to the good stuff.
 -Sabella
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    The Answer To That Age-Old Question: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
    
-King Arthur:  
    It was not his choice. Avalon sends us where we need to be! 
-Henry David Thoreau:
    To live deliberately... and suck all the marrow out of life.
-Joseph Stalin:
    I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
-Jack Nicholson:
    'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
Ronald Reagan:
    I forget.
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                 FROM THE IMPS: Ptah and Kaige Have a Baby Girl!
                       
                      Elena Marie was born Monday at 4:33 pm
                        Weight at birth: 6 lbs 7.8 ounces
                            Length at birth: 21 inches

Kaige
    ...started her contractions during the X-Files, and because she didn't
       want to miss the show, didn't TELL anybody!
    ...did have an epidural.
    ...is doing very well, with only some tearing.
    ...yes, is breastfeeding and off work for weeks and weeks.

Ptah
    ...is off work for two weeks.
    ...is better at getting Elena to be quiet than Kaige is :)
    ...simultaneously developed a major toothache in his wisdom tooth. :P

Labor
    ...started at 9pm Sunday.
    ...stayed at 20 minute cycle for 8 hours.
    ...went to 15 minutes by 7am Monday morning.
    ...was at 10 minutes when they went to the hospital at 9am.
    ...went to 5 minutes by the time they got there.
    ...was interrupted by the epidural at noon.
    ...entered transition right after.
    ...had pushing start at 2:30.
    ...and ended with Elena arriving at 4:33pm Monday afternoon.

Hope this answers everyone's questions!
-The very tired Ptah

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                       DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES

                                  CODING

- CONFIGURABLE PROMPTS:
 
    Your prompts are now completely configurable, type 'prompt help' to get a
    list of all the available features. New players do have a default prompt.
    For the rest of us, the following commands will return your prompt to its
    old status: 'prompt add hp'; 'prompt add move'; 'prompt add mana'.

- CODE UPDATE: ANIMATED DEAD:

    Now have a hp limit based on the level of the mob being animated. They
    have been compensated by having more movement points upon creation.

- SNIPER:

    The instant kill affect of sniper has been removed and it has been
    replaced with a stunning affect. Where a shooter would previously have
    sniped, they will now have either a one or a two tick stun.

- BUG FIXES: 

    Blinding Flash no longer blinds group members. Cure Light Wounds and Cure
    Serious Wounds are now partially based on the caster's MIND stat, in both
    affect and mana cost. A minor bug was found with the cause Instant Death
    spell. Previously, it was impossible to instant death a mob that was more
    than 10 levels below the caster. It is now possible to ID such mobs, but
    it is no longer possible for a cause mage to ID a mob 10 levels GREATER
    than the castor. This does not affect the create version of the spell. The
    bug with Contagious Cough reporting has been fixed. Muzzled characters can
    no longer use conferences. Timesight now reports short description instead
    of keywords.

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                                  BUILDING

- NEW AREA: TRANSYLVANIA!!                                                 

This period of feudal European history included numerous wars and constantly
shifting borders. Countries and empires came and went. The central and
southern portion of Eastern Europe was maintained by a country called Romania.
A torn country, it was once ruled by one of most notorious of men called Vlad
Dracos, later known as Vlad the Impaler. He was a king with his borders
surrounded by enemies or people pretending to be friends. During his youth,
the south was filled with war and conquest as the Ottoman Empire continued to
expand its borders. Each newly conquered country was held in check by the
empire taking most of the young male children and indoctrinating them into
combat training as well as their religious and political policies. These men
became Janisaries and were amongst the best fighting force ever seen.

By the time Vlad took the throne, the Ottomans had advanced to his border and
had begun encroaching on his lands. After a plea to the other unresponsive
leaders of the European community, he tried to fight them from his capital of
Tirgoviste. With a smaller and lesser trained force he was able to hold the
Ottomans off by turning to guerrilla warfare tactics. He would attack at night
or through fog. He would go for supply lines and poison crops. Also, he began
to use terror to bring their advance to a standstill. One terror he employed
was to leave captured enemy soldiers impaled at key sights for the Ottomans to
find. Afterwards, this became standard procedure for his own criminals. His
moralistic views lead him to execute citizens for almost any crime, anything
from adultery, thievery to laziness. In fact, through his time, there became
almost no theft or major crime anywhere in his lands. Merchants were able to
prosper even with the looming threat of conquest. Though his results were
good, his reign of death became feared by almost everyone throughout the
country and neighboring lands. Historians estimate he executed more people
than Hitler did hundreds of years later. Corpses were displayed throughout the
land as a warning which would chill even the most hearty of people. Care to
come and tempt his wrath?

- PROMOTION!

    Please congratulate Kheldar on his promotion to full builder with the
    addition of the area above. Kheldar says, "There's a little something for
    everyone in Romania, be it adventure, quests or equipment, but beware the
    myths of legend!"

- BUILDING PROPOSALS

    We are now accepting proposals for immorts in Building, Player Relations
    and Administration. Building proposals will be accepted until March 3rd.
    Consider the proposal you send in as 'final'. That is, none of these will
    be returned with commenting, they will be evaluated as your final
    submission. They will be evaluated by the immortal staff in the week after
    closing, and new immortals will be announced after that week (March 10).
    Please mail all proposal submissions to either: [email protected] or
    [email protected]

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                              PLAYER RELATIONS  

- PR PROPOSALS
                         
    Yes indeedy, we are accepting proposals for Player Relations Liaisons. Like
    Building, we are asking that your proposals be "final" copies. And like
    them, we'll be accepting proposals until March 3. Once we get all the
    proposals, they'll be discussed and voted on by the LegendMUD imms, with
    the results announced a week after (March 10). The proposal outline
    guidelines are available on the web page. You can also get copies from
    myself and other members of the PR staff. Some general guidelines are on
    the on the PR board, including A Quick Proposing Overview, A Brief Job
    Description, and Some General Proposal Tips. Right now, some of the areas
    where we are looking for folks include roleplay (promoting it, running
    tinyplots and competitions), games (developing games that newbies can
    play, running p-kill tourneys, doing trivia, complete with weekly
    standings), as well as general on-line duties. Send proposal to:
    [email protected].

- SCAVENGER HUNT: JOIN IN!

    On Saturday, March 1, at 8p CST, Spencer will hold a scavenger hunt. The
    hunt is designed to test your knowledge of the mud. It will be open to
    teams of up to 3 newbies (to put everyone on equal movement footing). All
    items will be from newbie-safe areas.  Obtaining help from others will be
    considered cheating and will result in disqualification (others being all
    non-team members). Non-color string coupons to each member of the winning
    team, i.e. the first to return will all items.  Coupon may be given to the
    character of the player's choice. Clans, RP and PK, are encouraged to
    field a team. Please mud-mail Spencer the members of your team (register)
    by Friday evening, February 28. Then meet me in OOC Auditorium with your
    newbie team on Saturday night. If you would like to use non-hunt related
    items (like skills, spells, birdshapes), that's up to you and your team. 
    BUT you must be able to obtain them without outside help! You shouldn't
    need such skills, etc. to complete the hunt, but I understand that some of
    these will make the hunt a bit easier to endure. Spencer will mud-mail all
    registered players the item list at 8p CST on Saturday, March 1. If only
    one team enters, if they complete the hunt they'll win ALL prizes.

- GAME REPORTS

    There have been a lot of interesting games run lately, and are sure to be
    more, so keep your eyes open. Unusual games include Rusalka's Valentine's
    Day, Hearts and Rosebuds Valentines, Tad's Animal Cracker Hunt, Satsu's
    Scavenger Hunts, Spencer's Scavenger Hunt (above which will be on
    Saturday), Monty Python Flag Hunt, Gail and Sabella's Casino Night,
    Clutch's Music Trivia, and several different kinds of Player or Immort run
    trivias. Also flag hunts, and recall tags have been running frequently
    including one by Ea!, two by Kheldar, and several from the PR staff
    including Joule, Spencer, Leila, Bart, Satsu and Sabella. If you have
    ideas for games and intend to propose, put them in your proposal :), but
    if you have ideas and don't intend to propose, please feel free to send
    them to PR immorts in any case, or to the LT address. We are especially
    interested in games that are equally fair (or close to) for new players as
    for our long-time fans. Again, if you have any comments or suggestions,
    feel free to email [email protected]. Thanks!!
    
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                               ADMINISTRATION
                               
- ADMIN PROPOSALS:

    We are now accepting proposals for immorts in Building, Player Relations
    and Administration. If you are interested in proposing to
    Administration, please mudmail Chocorua with your email address and the
    name of the character you wish to immort. Thanks!

- CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS:

    If you are interested in having a customized long and short description
    set, please read 'Help Description' before submitting a request. This will
    save the yourself as well as the Admin immort a lot of time and effort.
    Thank you!
    
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                               NEWS AND ARTICLES
                               
                               LegendMeet Update
                               
LegendMUD meet will be held in Austin, Texas this year. The dates for the
meet, will be March 21-23,1997. Here are some of the hotels in Austin and
their current prices:

        Travelodge Suites - $39-$79
        Hampton Inn Austin North - $61-$71
        La Quinta Inn North - $63-$90
        Drury Inn North - $65-$75
        
Thank you,
- Ryssa

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                           Ritters Of The Real World
                                  From: Kae

The romance and glory often associated with the knights of the Middle Ages
stems from a modern, romantic perception of life on the noblemen's castles,
and from the romantic writings of the era itself. The medieval knight's
perception of his own role also to some extent stemmed from those writings,
which to a great extent were viewed as guidelines to knightly prowess.
Chivalry coalesced in the 12th century, flourished in the 13th, became
decadent in the 14th and 15th, and merged into the Renaissance ideal of the
gentleman in the 16th.

The Germanic warriors who overran Europe in the early Middle Ages fought on
foot, but in the period between 700 and 1000, cavalry forces were created to
oppose invading Muslims, Vikings, and Magyars. The military structure changed
so that the main unit of an army now consisted of mounted men. Conscription,
which had been commonplace in all the Germanic cultures, ceased, and this
obviously initiated some social changes.The new mounted soldiers formed a
noble class of which the purpose was war alone, and which held the lower
classes in contempt. The knights, the nobility of the Christian European
countries, found the shared interest in warfare, against other Europeans and
against the infidels, to be a strong bond which united them outside of all
previously existing classes of society. They formed the heavy cavalry of the
era, constituting the chief and most effective force of war. They were the
professional soldiers of their time.

In the 11th century the aristocracy of the lands between the Loire and the
Rhine generally adopted cavalry training and tactics as they did the fief and
vassalage. Thus, in the 12th century, the term chevalier ("horseman") acquitted
a connotation of honor, and the English knight (originally "serving boy") came
to gain the same meaning. Knighthood and chivalry, its ethos and ideals,
acquired a mystiqueness that combined aristocratic qualities, Christian
virtues, and the courtly love of women. The ideal knight should be a man of
prowess, loyalty, and generosity, like the heroes of epic poetry. In the eyes
of the church he should put his sword at the service of the poor and needy,
and especially of the Crusaders of the Holy Land. From southern France came
the idea that a knight should serve a lady whom he loved passionately, if
hopelessly. The crusades introduced the golden era of chivalry. The crusader
was viewed in later times as an example of the perfect knight. The rescue of
the holy places from the infidels and the defense of pilgrims became the
object of the knightly vows. In return, the church took the knight under
protection in a special manner, granting them exceptional temporal and
spiritual privileges: the remission of all penances, dispensation from the
secular courts. As a means of defraying the expenses of the journey to the
Holy Land, knights were granted the tenth of all church revenues in their
land.

The vow of the crusader was limited to a specific time period. For the distant
expeditions into Asia, the average time was two or three years. After the
conquest of Jerusalem in 1099, it became necessary to raise a standing army
there, to prevent the loss of the holy city and the crusader kingdoms -
Outremer - to surrounding hostile nations. This caused the rise of the
military orders which adopted as a fourth monastic vow that of perpetual
warfare against the infidels. These orders comprised a perfect fusion of the
religious and the military spirit, though also secular knights of the era are
remembered as being representative of the ideal: Godfrey of Bouillon, Tancred
of Normandy (in spite of the fact that he robbed the Holy Sepulcher of
Jerusalem! Well, he did repent and put the treasures back), Richard the
Lionheart (who conducted several massacres on Christians and infidels alike),
and Louis IX of France who was eventually canonized. Like the monastic vow,
the knightly vow bound with common ties the warriors of every nation and
condition, and enrolled them in a vast brotherhood of manners, ideas, and
aims. The secular brotherhood had, like the regular, its rule imposing on its
members fidelity to their lords and to their word, fair play on the
battlefield, and the observance of the maxims of honor and courtesy.

After the Crusades, chivalry gradually lost its religious aspect and came to
focus on honor alone. This spirit is widely represented in the many knightly
exploits which fills the annals of the long contest between England and France
during the Hundred Years' War. Bloody battles alternated with tournaments and
gorgeous pageants. In spite of the brilliance and glamour of the knights'
achievements, the main results were a fruitless shedding of blood, waste of
money, and misery of the lower classes; during this era, various peasant
revolts took place, particularly in England and Flanders, and the peasants had
good reason. The amorous character of the romantic literature had contributed
greatly to deflect chivalry from its original ideal.

Under the influence of the romances, love now became the mainspring of
chivalry. Knights were vowed to the service of some noble lady who could even
be another man's wife. This idol of his heart was to be worshiped from a
distance, perhaps never even spoken to. In the later Middle Ages, chivalry
became ever more aristocratic and exclusive. During the 14th century, selected
bands of knights were created, such as the Order of the Garter and the Order
of the Golden Fleece. The title knight, like baron, count, or duke, became one
of hereditary honor, and fewer had the right to claim it. Since those few,
however, were powerful and prominent people, the ideas and ideals of chivalry
continued to have a strong appeal.

In its final state, chivalry became merely a court service. The Order of the
Garter, founded in 1348 by Edward III of England, the Order of the Golden
Fleece of Philip of Burgundy, dating from 1430, formed and brotherhood not of
crusaders but of courtiers. They had no other aim than to contribute to the
splendor of the sovereign. Their most serious business was the sport of jousts
and tournaments. They made their vows not in chapels but in banquet halls, not
on the cross but on some emblematic bird. 
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            /                        \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMud?|
   (o o)    \________________________/
ooO_(_)_Ooo_____________________________________________________________________
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                       THE LEGENDARY TIMES PERSONALS                            
                             Leila, LT Staff   
                              
- COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS:

        Congratulations to McDougan on his new position as poster-boy
        for the "Got Milk?" ads.
            -Anonymous

        Happy Birthday to Jen-Creature who shares the birthday of Ptah
        and Kaige's baby girl. We knew it was a lucky day!
            -LegendMUD
                      
                                 *************                              
- LOST AND FOUND:

        I losht me bagpipesh nnd all me oothrrr echquipment, wheen me
        mind refushed t' recoonecht wi' me boody. Eef ye foond
        anythin' shtrange nnd Shcottish, pleash contacht me
            -McDougan
            
                                *************
- FROM THE WAR ZONE

        In case some people didn't know, I realized that people have
        way more hps than I do, so I won't be pkilling until the trees
        come. (lets just say less than 250 at level 47)
        
        I have it all planned see, wary max, wimpy max, and I'll be
        constantly carrying around a black potion in case someone
        blinds me.  Coward? Yeah, I guess your right.
            -Lethargio

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                            LOVE LEGEND STYLE
                               
                        The Dark Lord's Blessing?

Amid good feelings and many cheerful congratulations, friends and family
gathered in the Jacobs' Garden in Salem to see Ryssa and Rakal wed. Among the
beautiful trees, the peace of the place prevailed despite the somewhat rowdy
guests. Rakal and his bride-to-be cheerfully greeted all who cared to witness
their happy event, including Huma, Guapo, Karyn, Mesgegra (who mentioned that
this was her first mud wedding), Val, CLeo, Hastur, Morphine, Leah, Lirra, and
Sandra. Hastur entertained the assembly with a brilliant display of his
juggling skills, while Guapo and Huma looked over the wenches, Morphine
offered refreshments of an...um... harder nature to those so inclined, and Val
attempted to control her dopple. Finally Sabella, who was performing the
ceremony, gained the attention of the crowd. The Dark Lord slipped in at the
last moment and settled himself in a shadow near the back of the audience. His
entry drew surprisingly little notice as Sabella blessed the place, although
the smell of fish suddenly over-powered that of the sweet flowers.

The ceremony itself was short. The groom confided that he is known simply as
Rakal, whereas the bride identified herself as Ryssa MacLaren Hastur. Hastur
seemed someone taken aback by this name, but considering the generally
inebriated condition of the McDougans, this caused no wonder. The couple were
joined by the power of the Immortals of Legend and their own Gods and
Goddesses, and Rakal presented his new wife with a sapphire set into a ring of
twisted white gold. Guapo seemed to have some difficulty containing his glee
in expectation of a line inviting the groom to kiss the bride. Despite
Morphine's explanation that such an invitation is intended only for the groom,
the pirate seemed to feel he could take advantage of it. To his
disappointment, Sabella did not extend the expected invitation, but concluded,
'By the power invested in me from Ptah and Kaige, through Rusalka (who does
the best weddings in the world) I now proclaim you man and wife. Let these our
brothers and sisters bear witness that Rakal and Ryssa have been joined
together.'

The Dark Lord commented, 'A wedding most interesting,' drawing attention (and
consternation) to his presence. Lirra, taking a defensive stance next to the
bride, insisted that no Lord was going to ruin her daughter's wedding day. The
Dark Lord responded with a chuckle that he 'only came to bless the union',
which seemed to displease Huma. Rakal reassured his bride that he would
protect her, soundly seconded by the bride's mother who softly offered her
congratulations to the couple, welcomed Rakal to the family, and asked that he
keep Ryssa safe, without harm. Huma provided Ryssa with a videotape of the
ceremony for the her father, Dominic, who could not be present.

Sandra provided the food for the reception. The fare was especially pleasing
to the guests, including brownies and rum which suited Legend's own pirate
well, and wedding cake and wine to at least partially meet Morphine's
perpetual request for 'cake and sodomy.' Guapo approved of Sandra's choices in
his own inimitable style, 'Ye're a right handy wench!' to which Sandra
replied, 'And I cook too!' Morphine temporarily attracted Guapo's interest by
offering, 'Virgins sold in quantity, herded by heredity...' The pirate quickly
responded that he would, 'take three,' but his mind soon returned to thoughts
of kissing the bride. Complaining loudly that he came all the way for the
missing last line of the wedding, Guapo kissed the bride without invitation,
much to Ryssa's distress. He, at least, seemed pleased, assuring the groom
with a wink, 'Aye, she be a good kisser. And I imagine that be not all.' As
Lirra objected to this representation of her daughter, Guapo kissed the mother
as well, noting that, 'she gets it honest.' The sound slap he received in
return does not seem to have intimidated our lusty pirate.

Whether because of or despite of the blessings of the Dark Lord, the union is
apparently well-sanctified. Ryssa seemed happy and healthy with only an
unusually strong appetite for fresh fruit marking the next several months.
After a no more than normally difficult lying-in period, she has been
delivered of a healthy baby boy, christened Alaric. Apparently, the baby
thrives as well, as his first words can now be heard around Legend. It remains
to be seen if the Dark Lord's presence at his parents' wedding has any affect
on the bouncing child.

                                \|/ \|/ \|/
                                
                            Hearts and Rosebuds

The men on Legend attempted the win the hearts of the ladies on Valentine's
Day this year, and the women tried to convince the men to give them roses. The
male and female with the most at the end of the day (12:00 Central time) were
dubbed Legend's Lovers. Point was anxious for someone to whisper sweet nothings
in his ear, Landy wondered who would tickle his elmo, and offered a romantic
candlelit dinner at Rick Blaire's in Casablanca, the city of love and Hastur
offered a rose to the lady who first presented him with a wreath of laurel.
Xuvenia offered her heart to the one who best described her. Flidais asked
that the winner of her heart guess the color of the rose in her bag (white).
Kheldar required a quest flag of the ladies, and Gail hid her heart deep in a
place dear to her character (the dt in Beowulf). Tyche wanted an earthworm,
rue, willow, and daisy in return for a rose, and, as Sabella likes worms, won
her heart while he was about it. Morphine, who is normally heartless,
initially intended to paint Legend red with blood in return for a heart
acquired especially for the holiday, but settled for giving it to the person
who suggested the most romantic make-out room in medieval. McGoat offered a
rose to the one to marry him, and McDougan gave his to the woman who agreed to
marry his son. For Leila's heart, McDougan spoke perfect (well, some semblance
thereof) English for five minutes, and he spent most of the evening rhyming to
win Sandra's. While noone took Hastur's suggestion and required McDougan to
try coffee, Tyche did manage to trick him into a drink of milk while he was
busy trying to please the ladies. All that hard work must have paid off as
McDougan had the most hearts when the day ended, and T'Aleydras had the most
roses.

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                                 LEGENDITES
                                 
Dear Legend and its great people,

I sadly have to leave Legend, and I hope that I may return one day. I just
wanted to take a minute of your time to thank all of you, IMMs and Players
that have made Legend my home for the past two years or so an adventure beyond
my dreams. I feel in love here, made friends here, cried here, and laughed
here. It truely is a wondrous place. Few know all of the characters I have
had the privilege of playing. I just hope I was there when needed and helped
when I could.

                         So Farewell Legend *bow*
                             David Lloyd-Jones
                    aka Gollum Daire, The Ancient Knight
                    
                                *************
     
I would like to apologize for my description. Many people going to HOL with
me had the experience of asking me to be transferred *giggles*. Some Immortals
even asked me 'immortal' stuffs and commands by mistake. I did not chose my
description to give people a hard time to transfer in HOL :) So well...
unfortunately for you, I wont be taking the 'angel' word out of my description
:P ;)   You'll just have to try and find the right angel! :) 

Have a good day! *giggles*

         - CLeo of the Circle of Angels
         
                                *************
         
Hi, Lethargio here. I've been around legend not really sure of what I was, so
I would like to seriously role play. Don't ask me for exp runs, eq requests or
anything like that, cause I'll probably say no unless you bribe me by a lot.
(you know, pkills and stuff)

Whats my RP? Hm, I don't feel like blabbing about my whole RP...go find out
yourself if you really want to know.

I guess I'll change my description and my desc when you look at me shortly.
Now all I need is a coupon... You know, they sure do help role playing in this
mud, yeps. *hint imms* I think that'll keep me busy for a little while...
            -Lethargio
                                *************

    Lupus can now be seen around Legend as a war-torn Colossus. The seven-foot
    tall being will undoubtedly obstruct your view on occasions.
    
                                *************
                             Shotokai Ceremonial

Let it be known that a ceremonial has been held in the Great Shotokai Dojo to
honour Luis' retirement. The Kusanagi White Stone now bears Luis' immortal
print.

  'A Man of valour never threatens anyone,
   He's still ready but never he pushes himself forward;
   If he Kills, it will be without humiliation;
   [...]
   He corrects the mistakes, even the slightest, but never accuses.
   This is what makes his willpower strong.
   [...]
   A truthful valorous being is never perturbed,
   Even facing unpredictable events or crisis,
   He never loses control whatever the situation he's caught in.

   All this because his heart is great and his goal elevated.'

              Murakami Sensei, Gate Keeper of the House of Shotokai

                                *************
                                
             Congratulations to Diet who recently reached level 50!!!
             
                                 ************* 
                                  
Recently overheard by our sneaky little bluebird:

                    Why Legend Is Like a Third-World Country:
                    
We have this bearded dictator, who seems to think we can all get along, and
everyone will be happy if they agree with him, there's nothing that resembles
an economy 'cept for black market trading of coupons, and the bosses love Big
Grandiose Plans that never work out they way they're supposed to.

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