Volume Eight Issue Five
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= .............._______ ............./ / THE LEGENDARY TIMES ............/ / .........../ /.....______.._____.....______.._____.......____ ........../ /...../ /./ \.../ /./ \...../ \ ........./ /...../ ___/./ ____/../ ___/./ __. \.../ /\ \ ......../ /...../ /_.../ /....../ /_.../ /..\ >./ /./ / ......./ /...../ __/../ /____../ __/../ /.../ /./ /./ / ....../ /_____/__/__../ \_\ /./ /__../ /.../ /./ /_/ / ...../ / /./ /./ /./ /.../ /./ / ..../ /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD .../________________/ running on mud.legendmud.org 9999 64.7.5.163 9999 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= http://www.legendmud.org/ ftp://ftp.legendmud.org/pub =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= VOLUME EIGHT, ISSUE FIVE March 5, 2001 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TABLE OF CONTENTS A Note from the Implementor Calendar of Events NEWS, REPORTS, & UPDATES February Connection Analysis Recent Updates Q & A Topics Gangwars PK Tourney LEGENDITES Announcements A Hot Line To Hell LASER-BEAM-TRANSMISSION Log: The Eistefod Report! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= A Note from the Implementor Player Community/Character Communities and making them work separately and together Being a part of any community is always interesting to me. I'm one of those people who likes to go places to watch the people and how they interact with their surroundings and other people. In the real world, everyone is always busy working on their own agendas and a virtual community seems no different to me. Everyone is always busy working on their own agendas. Communities and sub-communities form around common interests and goals. Now, I'd expect that the main reason anyone logs into a virtual community/world/multiplayer game (they all have something in common--other people) is to have an enjoyable experience. LegendMUD is such an intriguing space in many respects. As Chaykin recently posted on the Discussion Board, Legend has always tried to support a variety of play styles, but often the most satisfied players are those with a similar well rounded approach. This more free-form approach to character development brings an interesting dynamic with it. On one hand, you have a place where a bunch of players gather to play a game and have fun. On the other hand, the game supports a more dynamic community of characters that often have widely different goals and interests. The group of players that connect to LegendMUD come from widely varied cultural and economic backgrounds all over the world. Sure, some people are from the same locale and many people are or have become friends outside the game as well. However, everyone shares an interest in playing the game and want to have a good time doing it. How exactly they have a good time doing that, shouldn't really matter, unless it is disruptive or ruins the fun for others. The characters that appear in LegendMUD have backgrounds even more varied than their players', but unlike the people behind the roles, character goals vary radically from one to the next. Some will want to conquer the world, others just be well respected in their chosen profession, others yet are out to save the world. So the real trick in an online community like LegendMUD is to make both those groups thriving while minimizing the negative repercussions on each other. The players have to leave enough distance so that they don't take everything said against their character personally, while trying to immerse themselves in the world to the point where they might be surprised by something their character does. In the next couple of issues I'm going to focus on some related topics: Finding People With Similar Interests Conveying RP to Others Dealing With Unexpected Twists and Playing Off Someone Else -Kaige ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| LegendMUD Calendar of Events |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' [All times are system time unless otherwise specified] {}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{} March {}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{}-{} Tuesday, March 6th, 6:00 pm Zaba's PK Discussion Wednesday, March 7th 6:00 pm "Stork Night" in the OOC Thursday, March 8th, 7:00 pm Q & A in the OOC Auditorium Saturday, March 10th, noon March Madness Tinyplot 2:00 pm PK Tourney, Gangwars Format Sunday, March 11th, 7:00 pm Trivia Thursday, March 22nd, 7:00 pm Q & A in the OOC Auditorium ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| News, Reports, and Updates! |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' LegendMUD Connection Analysis February 2001 Peak Mortal Players 80 Average Peak was 56 Peak PKOK Enabled Players 45 Pkokenabled Characters represent approximately 48% of active players. Peak Accept All Characters 12 Accept All Characters represent approximately 8% of all active characters and 17% of active pkok enabled characters. The first two tables below show the Average Mortal Players, Average PKOK Enabled Players, and the number that were "Accept All" connected to Legend by hour of the day as polled approximately on the hour system time during the period noted above. The third table shows the same averages calculated by the day of week. hour 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ------------------------------------------ avg 33 28 23 18 16 14 14 16 20 24 27 29 pke 15 13 11 9 8 6 6 7 9 12 13 14 aas 2 2 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 2 2 2 hour 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 ------------------------------------------ avg 32 36 39 46 46 45 46 46 50 50 45 39 pke 15 17 19 22 22 22 21 22 23 25 22 19 aas 2 3 2 3 3 3 3 3 4 4 3 3 day MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN ------------------------------------------ avg 32 32 33 31 31 36 34 pke 16 16 16 15 14 16 16 aas 2 2 2 3 2 2 2 This last table breaks down each hour by the day of the week in detail. MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN AVG PK AA|AVG PK AA|AVG PK AA|AVG PK AA|AVG PK AA|AVG PK AA|AVG PK AA ------------+---------+---------+---------+---------+---------+--------- 0: 30 15 2| 31 15 1| 33 14 2| 28 13 3| 35 14 2| 35 15 3| 41 20 3 1: 24 14 2| 24 12 1| 31 13 2| 22 11 3| 30 14 3| 31 14 2| 34 16 2 2: 24 11 1| 18 9 1| 23 12 1| 18 9 2| 24 12 1| 30 14 2| 27 13 1 3: 18 10 1| 15 8 1| 16 8 1| 15 8 2| 20 11 1| 25 11 1| 20 10 1 4: 15 7 1| 13 7 1| 15 8 1| 12 7 1| 18 10 1| 19 9 1| 17 8 1 5: 15 6 1| 13 6 1| 15 7 1| 13 6 1| 15 7 1| 18 8 1| 11 5 1 6: 16 8 0| 14 6 0| 12 5 1| 15 6 1| 15 6 0| 16 8 1| 13 5 0 7: 17 8 1| 16 7 1| 15 6 1| 16 8 2| 16 7 1| 17 7 0| 14 5 0 8: 21 9 2| 21 11 2| 21 9 1| 20 10 2| 19 10 2| 22 10 1| 19 6 0 9: 24 12 3| 24 12 2| 24 14 2| 23 13 3| 22 11 2| 26 11 1| 25 9 0 10: 26 13 3| 24 12 2| 24 12 2| 24 12 3| 26 13 1| 35 15 2| 32 14 2 11: 28 15 2| 28 14 3| 27 12 2| 25 12 2| 28 13 1| 34 16 3| 34 18 2 12: 30 15 2| 30 16 3| 30 15 2| 32 16 3| 30 15 2| 37 17 3| 34 15 1 13: 33 14 2| 33 18 3| 37 18 3| 35 16 4| 31 15 2| 41 18 3| 41 18 2 14: 37 18 2| 36 20 2| 42 20 3| 38 17 3| 36 18 2| 42 19 2| 44 21 3 15: 48 23 4| 45 21 3| 50 24 4| 40 19 2| 45 21 3| 47 22 3| 47 24 3 16: 49 25 5| 45 22 2| 46 22 3| 46 24 4| 42 18 3| 48 21 3| 49 22 2 17: 47 25 4| 47 24 4| 46 23 3| 47 24 3| 43 19 3| 41 18 3| 46 21 2 18: 47 21 4| 45 21 4| 49 23 4| 50 24 5| 39 17 3| 45 20 2| 46 22 1 19: 48 22 3| 48 24 3| 48 23 4| 48 21 4| 36 16 2| 48 22 2| 46 23 2 20: 53 23 4| 53 25 5| 52 24 3| 53 26 5| 43 17 2| 49 24 5| 47 23 2 21: 52 24 5| 49 25 6| 52 26 2| 53 27 5| 46 22 3| 49 26 5| 50 25 4 22: 44 21 3| 43 21 4| 44 21 2| 48 24 4| 45 22 3| 44 22 3| 45 24 4 23: 35 18 4| 40 18 2| 37 15 2| 38 19 3| 40 20 4| 46 22 3| 40 18 3 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= /\ RECENT UPDATES / \ / \ RECENT CODE UPDATES /_ _\ Bug Fixes: | | o Socials on channels now use the channel color | | o Spacing for socials on channels fixed. | | o "enters the east" mood problems fixed. |__| /\ Balance Changes / \ o A one round lag was added to using magical wands/staves / \ /_ _\ RECENT AREA UPDATES | | The Prize Machine | | Fixed wrong colored S at the end of hearts on the boxers. | | Player Housing |__| With the recent downtime, LadyAce was able to fix many of /\ the bad line breaks in existing houses. / \ Celtic Ireland / \ Until we can write an alternative quest so that the /_ _\ archdruid will forgive you for cheating him, you will be | | able to again. Look for this to change in the near future | | though. Aengus now randomly walks back to his homeroom if | | he's not there and is not fighting. Mad Meg also had some |__| keywords added based on her long description. /\ Beowulf / \ The warg quest now only initially sets your alignment once / \ for the quest. Any additional alignment changes must be /_ _\ gotten from remaining in the form of the warg. | | San Francisco | | Various typo and bug fixes that included making sure the | | robbery wouldn't literally hold up the stage coach. |__| 1802 Alaska /\ Various typos and fixes including Napachee keywords, language / \ quest problems), and the polar bear will now roam again. / \ Malta /_ _\ Fixed two shop sections that had bad values. The old Chaplain | | shouldn't complain about min level to shop there any more. | | The Alhambra | | Recluse shouldn't do weird stuff during fights. Checked the |__| forage section and most of the stuff is what it says it is. /\ Fixed some typos and spiffed up descriptions of two of the / \ cupolas. / \ Arabian Nights /_ _\ Fixed the typos in the hammam with the massage and the | | pitcher. Kids should no longer collect robes. Added a bunch | | of responses for various things. Camel will stay and follow. | | Sabiha should have her correct items now. Mobs here should |__| know more about the area and each other. Searching in the /\ safe might turn up something new. Don't get too excited. / \ Someone asked for an RP aid. The kids should not collect / \ robes now. The Yusuf's leech now does suction damage. /_ _\ Aztecs | | Made sure there were more boats around the lake. And fixed a | | minor problem with Blood Glutton's teach act. | | F & I War |__| Wood-eater should look more appropriately equipped and may /\ be tougher because of it. The huge draft horse should act / \ more like other horses, including fight back. / \ Paris Opera House /_ _\ Added the follow and stay acts to the horses here. They will | | not follow over water unless you take them in a group boat. | | | | Legends of the Past, Vicelima Market, Anasazi, Crusades, |__| Bengal, Melbourne, Londport, MedSeas, Sherwood, Tortuga, and /\ Boston all had various typos and minor bug fixes made. Also / \ many small syntax error were fixed in many files, but should / \ for the most part be invisible to players. /_ _\ | | As always, we ask that if you find any bugs/typos or have ideas | | for new items, reactions for mobs, quest hints or any other | | sort of thing in certain area or areas, please use the |__| bug/idea/typo channels. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= _______ ____ _______ / ___ \ / __ \ / ___ \ Logs of Q&A sessions are available on the | / \ | \ \/ / | / \ | web pages for those who are unable to attend | | | | \ / | \___/ | or had to leave early. The most recent ones | | | | / \/\ | ___ | are listed on the sitemap page or you can | | /\| | / /\ / | / \ | get a complete list on the Q&A index page | \_\ \ | \ \/ \ | \ / | at the url below. \___\/_/ \__/\/ \_/ \_| http://www.legendmud.org/Community/lectures/QandA/QA_index.html RECENT TOPICS o Deathtraps o Extra Line in Socials on Channels o PK Channel? o Policing Channels? o Affects and the OOC o Problem with Melbourne Quest? o Spirit Requirements? o Friends & Housing o How's Germany Update? o Problems with the Warg Quest? o Skill Trees? o Loss of Perc on Death? o Harassment or Evil RP? o Truffle Hunt Results? o Next week's PK Tourney o March Tinyplot (& TP in general) o Plays in the Globe? o Clans & Improving Them o Accept All Problems o Does Con Worn Affect HP Level Gain o More Chat & Immaturity Complaints o Why not see chat while asleep? o Reminders for Expies & LT Content o Skills & Learn Levels o Etheric Archer Spell o Bug with the Archer and/or Shoot? o Naming Player Housing o How's Assassin Game Going? o SkillTrees o How's the Balance Looking? o LegendMEET Scheduled yet? o PK bans carry to pk tourneys? o March Madness Tinyplot o Boxers Fixed? o Yelled at for ideas? o Plans for a Japan Area? o What about Shakespeare's Plays? o Finding out Building Projects o How can you get Tokens? o Generic Animal Project? o Can we ever become Honorary Imms? o Innkeepers/Asking for Help/Jerks o Responses on Ideas? o What's up with rude Imms? o Mobs dying to poison give no XP? o Why Weird Chairs here? o Any way to postpone tinyplot? o Stupid Names o More on Innkeepers o PR Game Questions o Imm Presence o Allan-a-dale Repop? o Learning Sing o Dancing while sitting? o Kudos on Rudh Quest o Why level req on PD? o Using Lock Picks o How hard is it to get into LoP? o Obligatory Skilltrees Question o Can Prize Machine Autosave? =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Gangwars PK Tourney The second round of the Gangwars were held on Saturday in the Nazcan deserts. This week's results: The mafia - 6 The Michigan Militia - 5 The Drunks & Nothing to Lose - 3 The ATF Enforcers - 1 The ongoing tally for the last 2 weeks: The Michigan Militia: 9 The Mafia & The Ghosthawks: 6 The Drunks: 5 Nothing To Lose: 3 Freja/Bruce/Marula: 2 The ATF Enforcers & Alvis/Zeratoul/Shine: 1 The next conflict is slated for Saturday at 2 pm -- be there! ________________________ / \ o O | Wonder what folks are | `\|||/ | doing over at LegendMUD?| (o o) \________________________/ ooO_(_)_Ooo________________________________________________________________ _____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|___ __|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____| ___ ___ \ |------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World |__\ '------------------------------------------------------------------' Announcements The Outfitters Clan disbanded for low membership. []-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[] A Hot Line To Hell Columnist: Marcel Alexander, Esquire Calpurnius asked me to include a request, a service which I shall of course be happy to comply with. The good inn keeper would ask of his patrons, present and future, that they refrain from bringing denizens of the elemental planes, air sprites in particular, to his establishment. This ban is the result of a recent bar-room brawl between Alejandro and his much-feared nemesis with wings, Central Park tree warden and soft-serve ice cream thief, Sprite. I have not been able to discern who won (but I'm putting my money on the sprite, those New Yorkers are mean). Ahriman, prince of darkness and deceit in Zoroastrian mythology, has taken possession of a mortal vessel to join the ranks of the Seven Circles. The infernal types are obviously quite happy to have this powerful entity in their midst -- though his presence has incited some back-watching among less powerful members. Less concern has been expressed over the joining up of run-away-from-boarding-school Gwajeth MacDuncan. Rest assured that once this child comes of age, she will take blackmail and emotional manipulation to new exciting lows. Vidar, scourge of Siberia, has also joined the infernal ranks of late. The Knights of Legend have added several new people to their roster lately -- Delandel, Hardeck, and so forth. At the same time, Rictor Belmont expressed his regrets that the squirehood of Pansi to ex-knight Lawrence Windstrom was somehow lost in knightly bureaucracy -- but no one is complaining, the talented young lady is now an apprentice of the Seven Circles. Which goes to prove that if you have your hands on something good, induct it, dont red tape it. Dechtire of Ulster has been seen wandering the realms in search of whoever taught animals, birds, and even dryads to sing her name as if were it a hymn of praise. Whether she has found her stalker yet remains unknown -- this columnists bet is on Walt Disney. If animals sing, its usually Walt Disney. Asguard and Silvaria have finally joined hands in marriage. Okay, so I'm a bit late bringing this to you. I wasn't invited to the reception. Similarly, Bruson Carthine and Naomi Eliezer have joined in matrimony. I wasn't invited to this ceremony either, though it would appear that particularly Camaris, Judah Eliezer and Gorgan expected me to show up anyway. What's a man to do? If you want your wedding crashed, please send me a note a few days in advance. And speaking of Bahan Sopeh, this circle has taken on new members over the last few days: Lawrence Windstrom and Ryan Tarrant now dedicate themselves to protection and aid of the forces of good. And to tree planting and snoring in corners respectively. Residents of Tara may have noticed Gwajeth and Timmy finding all sorts of excuses to play tag lately -- are we to expect the love birds to, well, get luvin, or something, when they grow a little older? Arturo has joined the ranks of the Knights Templar, and at the same time, that knighthood's GM, Tancred de Gisborne has returned to the realms of the living, so to speak. And at that, just in time to soundly berate Genocide on keeping his nose out of the Gisborne affairs, and not question the parentage, nor his paternal love for young Edwina de Gisborne, Tancred's illegitimate daughter by Mertjai LaRue. Edwina is expected to join her fathers knighthood within relatively short time as well. Genocide Vianoi appears to have taken on his own crusade against just about anyone and anything of late. This has led him into political scheming with such notables as Judah & Haley Eliezer, and into open conflict with Marcel Alexander (thats me!), the Seven Circles, Tancred de Gisborne, and for that matter, the Grand Coven -- pretty much all of it. Not unexpectedly, Genocide has issued a good deal more threats than actual action. It remains to be seen whether he will be able to protect his wife Crystaline and his daughter Tyana from the resulting mess. Meanwhile, we all watch with interest as rumors spread like wildfire -- about myself and Haley Eliezer having an affair, and about Genocide's starting that rumor because he didn't get to have an affair with her. Simultaneously, Bruson Carthine appears to have painted the proverbial bulls eye on his own back, challenging Plagasgraw of the Coven repeatedly but so far failing to show up to deliver. It would appear that Bruson's issues revolve around a fight at his wedding to Naomi Eliezer, between Plagasgraw and Gottfried von Luttke. And while were at the supposed scandals, Knights of Legend squire Robar Royce apparently assaulted Nanna Ravenhair lately, killing the lady when she failed to comply with his forced attentions. No one was left in doubt as to the nature of these attentions when the squire stated that she could just have ripped her clothes off herself, instead of leaving it to him. Wonder what Lady Freja will say to that. []-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[] LASER-BEAM-TRANSMISSION: On February 12th 300bce, SpaceGirl crash-landed her teeny, one-person space craft in the vast desert outside Agrabah. The ship is not repairable as little bits and pieces are strewn across the land. In fact, it has been determined that many small animals such as beetles and scorpions have made tiny little homes from the scraps. But that's not important. What is important is that she is now stranded (OH NO) and is very far from her home planet Guuagxi. We, her people, are providing this laser-beam-transmission for you in the hopes that her predicament might be rendered less dire until her return transport can be arranged. And now for some critical background information... CRITICAL BACKGROUND INFORMATION: In our solar system, the planet Guuagxi is the third planet from our sun, Ovt. Unfortunately Guuagxi is an inferior planet in this particular solar system. All of the 14 planets in our solar system are inhabited, and everyone knows each other and have been in contact. We are aware that in your solar system, things are different... yours is the ONLY inhabited planet. All other life forms are located a long way away from your planet, which is why there is some confusion as to where other life does exist. By the time most beings have made it to your planet they have either died of starvation or can only stop very briefly due to fueling and gravity problems. Anyway as we were saying, SpaceGirl was sent to earth on a mission. The most important mission any Guuagxiian could ever be sent on. Really, it's true. As previously stated, the Guuagxii are an inferior race and a neighboring planet called Gentamicin - who just happens to be inhabited by the most superior race in the Universe (great luck, huh?) So they demanded the participation of the Guuagxiians in their once-a-century challenge, as is the custom of our galaxy. The reason they give challenges is just to be polite. Everybody knows that the Genamicin invade planets willy nilly, but they want to make it look like they are nice beings, so they offer a challenge. Knowing that it cannot be met though, they wait cruelly for the inferior planet to not meet the challenge, then stomp into that planet thieving, raping and pillaging. So the Gentamicin decreed that if the Guuagxiians could come up with MORE human specimens than the Genamicin could within 30 Ovt rotations (those being equivalent to your days) then the Guuagxiians, would be spared invasion. There is no point trying to argue with these guys you see, they have all the technology known in the universe and can obliterate whole solar systems easier than flushing one of your toilets. That's why they are so bored with everything and took to invading little planets like Guuagxi. SUMMARY: Obviously since SpaceGirl has no transport home, Guuagxi is doomed not to win the challenge and we'll be screwed for a brief period. Once Gentamicin has finished pummeling our people however, we will organize a trip to rescue SpaceGirl -- whenever that may be. []-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[]-[] The Eistefod Report! 'Richt!' McDougan says, slurring every word. 'Weeelcoom tae the Eishtefod!' McDougan says drunkenly, 'On shaint Davidsh day, ish traditioonal tae shtart the Eishtefod sheashon in walesh, ash hesh their patron shaint.' Sasha says, 'Hesh?' 'Shaint david Ish,' McDougan says, slurring every word. 'The patron shaint o' walesh, ken?' Abulafia says, 'Aye, ken.' McDougan says drunkenly, 'An Eishtefod ish a competition o' poetry, shinging, and shtory-tellin, aul origional wairksh.' Sasha nods solemnly. McDougan says drunkenly, 'It ish ushually conduchted in Welsh. Onyun shpeak welsh?' Sasha shakes her head in disagreement. Abulafia shakes his head. McDougan says, slurring every word, 'If nae, weel joosht dae it in regular.' Abulafia scuffles his feet around in the dirt. McDougan grins evilly. Malas says, 'Is there gonna be a first/second/third ... place?' 'Aye,' McDougan says, slurring every word. 'Gweddych gwidh gwennnnicccchg,' Captain Vandervecken says confidently. Malas says, 'Whats the last place?' McDougan whaps Vandervecken across the back of the head! What a dunce! McDougan says, apparently drunk, 'Shoot oop. We hae enoof prishesh for three. Though I need tae pick oop the fairsht prishe shtill.' 'Can we enter poems now?' Dermick says, yawning and stretching. 'We'll hae a volunteer bashish,' McDougan says, apparently drunk. 'An eishtefod ish a shelebration o' the SHPOKEN waird.' DERMICK'S POEM I look outside I only see white I take out my sled to go for a ride And after get friends for a snowball fight. After we are cold and tired We come into the house for tea With all the caffine we seem to be wired And after the spaz attack I have to pee. Winter is the best time of year You can snuggle inside by a fire And maybe drink a cold beer While your heart may be burning in desire You invite her in to say hi And get onto one knee You say "marry me or i will surely die" She can only agree Your day has been made You feel as though you are on top of the world Then it all fades As you wake up from this stange dream world! Dermick says sleepily, 'That is it.' Much applause. 'Ish nae bad!' McDougan says, apparently drunk. 'I gie it a shiksh!' Dermick says, not quite awake, 'Thanks.' De-ath says, 'I give it a seven!' 'Ye may gae nesht,' McDougan says drunkenly to Abulafia. 'A wee bit shilenshe for our nesht poet!' ABULAFIA'S POEM Abulafia says, 'Lemme preface this by say that it is a bit brief...' Abulafia says, 'And condensed.' untitled Standing, Leaning, in darkness, and looking up. Hours spent this way beneath the birch with frost-tipped fingers reaching lampstand of the sky. The moon breaks crisply at its edges. Light almost undiffused by the small cloud of frozen steam floating skyward. And behind me, my church one high window perhaps lit. et fini Abulafia smiles happily, followed by much applause. Abulafia scuffles his feet around in the dirt. 'I tink thatch deshairvit eight nnd a helf!' McDougan says, apparently drunk. Dermick says, eyes averted, to Abulafia, 'I know the felling.' 'Why thank you...' Abulafia says. Paribus says, 'I absolutely loved the feeling I got from the poem.' 'Hmmmm,' De-ath says. 'I give it an 8!' De-ath says. McDougan says, slurring every word, 'Main reashon I dinnae gie it higher ish becoosh I want tae leeve room joosht in cashe.' De-ath says, 'Very nice.' 'Thank you one and all...' Abulafia says. Abulafia says, 'It's a first for me...this Mudpublishing.' Dermick nods his agreement with Abulafia. Dermick says tentatively, 'Same here.' 'Who wuid like tae gae nesht?' McDougan says, apparently drunk. 'Gae oon, laddie!' McDougan says drunkenly to Everyone. Abulafia listens intently. 'Shilensh, pleesh!' McDougan says, apparently drunk. Everyone closes their eyes, reading from the inside of their eyelids. Our Silly Limerick, by Everyone There once was a man, a Taran, The wenches he liked to be scarin'. He'd sneak up behind, With a vial would blind, Then yell BOO! and run off like a madman. Everyone bows deeply. Much applause. 'Very nice,' De-ath says. De-ath says, 'Nice little ditty.' 'A guid limerick, sae... shiksh?' McDougan says, slurring every word. Sasha says, 'Won that april with its shouroust shootah, the draught in march hath pierced to the roothah.' Everyone thanks uh, everybody 'I give it a seven,' De-ath says. McDougan says, apparently drunk, 'Nae chausher!' 'Origioonal,' McDougan says, slurring every word. De-ath says, 'Can I go?' DE-ATH'S POEM De-ath says, 'Here it is.' All white I am, pinstripes I wear, Trapped in a cage, prickles my hair, I sit here all day Wasting my time, Fed once a day: I go by chimes. I wait for awhile, Then he comes for me, he wants to defile. I raise out my body, then take a look: Im flying with Death, heaven's best crook. My body is limp, my eyes have glazed over: Then I hear death call Red Rover Red rover. 'Thats it,' De-ath says. Much applause. 'You can also look at me for a bonus poem,' De-ath says. THE BONUS DE-ATH POEM Here he is take a good look you're looking at Death heaven's best crook. He holds a large sickle wears a black cloak appears in a room in a large puff of smoke Some people can't see him they must be blind I think they would scream seeing a face of his kind He stands up straight and catches a breeze takes to the air like a monkey to trees And when he sees a victim thats good he reaches above and pulls off his hood You will see his face you will see his smile now it is his turn to defile our earth He takes another life but this is the way of his struggle and strife. Paribus says, 'Excellent poem.' McDougan says drunkenly, 'Hrrd tae judge it...' 'Might I?' Genocide says, almost a whisper. McDougan says drunkenly, 'I tink eight.' De-ath nods solemnly. De-ath says, 'Thanks.' Genocide says, almost a whisper, 'Well some people say I am a hopeless romantic, so here it goes.' When by false lovers I was led a stray, I saw your bright brown eyes shining across the way. No truer love I thought to myself I could find, The thought of you loving me just blew my mind. You left once to find someone new: I couldn't stand it I didn't know what to do. You had my heart my love and soul: My love for you was purer that the purest gold. He caused you hurt and lots of pain; I couldn't stand by and watch - it was driving me insane. I went to take you from your hurt and woes; Wherever you went my love for you goes. Til the day you are mine once more: I will wait for you walking this earth shore to shore. My love for you is strong how with out I don't know I will get along - Find it in you heart to come back to me, And be my queen for eternity. Genocide bows deeply. Much applause. 'Och!' McDougan says drunkenly. 'I assume this lucky lady is Crystaline?' Paribus says to Genocide, 'Or am I wrong to assume that?' Genocide nods his agreement with Paribus. Paribus nods solemnly. 'You are not.' Genocide says, barely audible. 'But I got her back.' Genocide smiles happily. 'She is lucky to you have you by her side,' Paribus says to Genocide. Dermick cheers for Genocide - huzzah! 'I gie it a nine!' McDougan says, apparently drunk. Dermick cheers for McDougan - huzzah! Genocide blushes bright red. Genocide sits down on the ground. McDougan hiccups. McDougan smile happily. 'A bit low dont you think?' Dermick says tentatively to McDougan. 'Hehe.' McDougan pats Dermick on his head. Paribus chuckles politely. McDougan says drunkenly, 'Who nesht? Thatch evrrryun?' 'Richt!' McDougan says drunkenly. McDougan says, slurring every word, 'Beffer the final tally...' 'A quick poem o' my oon!' McDougan says, slurring every word. McDOUGAN'S POEM 'I caul thish, Owain Glyndwr,' McDougan says drunkenly. McDougan says, apparently drunk, 'Nnd thash proonoonshed ash in door.' Owain Glyndwr fought the nnnglish shcum Who intae walesh did coom. Boot shadly, they won, nnd the poor welsh lad Shoon foond evrrythin tairned oot bad. Ash Arberth became narberth, nnd Clunderwen, Clynderwen, Nnd Abertave tairned Shwanshea: The english took o'er the welsh land - And left noothin tae be tekin by me! McDougan grins evilly. Abulafia whistles appreciatively. McDougan hiccups. Much applause. 'Good one!' Dermick says, eyes averted. Abulafia stands up and CHEERS! Dermick says, eyes averted, '9!' Paribus says, 'Excellent poem!' Dermick says, eyes averted, 'Good story and poem.' '10!' Genocide says, almost a whisper. 'Nnd noo the prishesh!' McDougan says, slurring every word. 'Hell, I give at least nine for the dialect alone,' Abulafia says. 'Gensoshide winsh, wi' nine, nnd will get a coopon shoon ash I get it!' McDougan says drunkenly. Abulafia congratulates Genocide on a job well done. McDougan says, slurring every word, 'Abul-whashit getsh shechund, a collechtioon o' shtringsh!' Genocide beams at McDougan delightedly. Abulafia smiles happily. McDougan says drunkenly, 'Nnd in thaird..... de-ath, who gesh a cookie.' 'Boot it wash verra harrrd tae jooodge!' McDougan says, apparently drunk. 'Aul o' ye did verra weel!' McDougan says, slurring every word. 'Very good poems all,' Genocide says quietly. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Legendary Times is published by the immortals of LegendMUD. Please send all replies, additions, or corrections to our address at [email protected] for inclusion in the next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate this discussion, and may object to some submissions. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=