Volume Eleven Issue Twenty-One

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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 .............._______
 ............./      /            THE LEGENDARY TIMES
 ............/      /         http://www.legendmud.org/
 .........../      /.....______.._____.....______.._____.......____
 ........../      /...../     /./     \.../     /./     \...../    \
 ........./      /...../  ___/./  ____/../  ___/./  __   \.../  /\  \
 ......../      /...../  /_.../  /....../  /_.../  /..\   >./  /./  /
 ......./      /...../  __/../  /____../  __/../  /.../  /./  /./  /
 ....../      /_____/__/__../  \_\  /./  /__../  /.../  /./  /_/  /
 ...../ Celebrating    / /./       /./     /./  /.../  /./       /
 ..../ our 10th year  /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD
 .../________________/      running on         mud.legendmud.org 9999
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 VOLUME ELEVEN, NUMBER TWENTY-ONE                   November 6, 2004
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                         TABLE OF CONTENTS
                         The Editor's Note

                       NEWS, REPORTS, UPDATES
                         Calendar of Events
                   New Contest Announced: PROMPTS!
                           Recent Updates
                         Recent Q&A Topics

                             LEGENDITES
                  Announcing: The LegendMUD Emporium
                     Scavenger Hunt Results
                       Pumpkin Hunt Winners
                  Halloween Costume Contest Winners
                             
                             CLAN NEWS
               THE SEEKER: The Lords of Justice (part II)

                             PK Front
                       Sandra's PK Contest!

                      Transition to Madness
___                                                               ___
\  |-------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                      The Editor's Note                      |__\
   '-------------------------------------------------------------'

For those of you who missed this year's Halloween Activities, contest
results can be found below, and Ptah's Halloween story has been
cleaned up and posted on the web.

Monthly purges will be running again in January. Please get in the
habit of checking in on your characters regularly, or archiving them
if you know you're not going to be around or not playing certain ones
regularly.

Chocorua has posted the list of chars that WOULD have been purged on
Nov. 1st, if the purge had run for real. You can review the list at:

We hope everyone that has characters they don't play frequently, but
aren't archived, can check this list and let us know if they found
any on the list that have played in the last month.

You'll want to be sure alts and your clans are ready for when this
goes live on January 1st!

Have a great week and please take a few minutes to cast your votes
for LegendMUD at TopMudSites.com and MudConnector.com.
     
We've made it to the 1st page of rankings for TMC! Thanks for helping!

-Kaige
___                                                               ___
\  |-------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                LegendMUD Calendar of Events                 |__\
   '-------------------------------------------------------------'
       [All times are system time unless otherwise specified]

                            NOVEMBER
                      Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
                          1  2  3  4  5  6        
                       7  8  9 10 11 12 13        
                      14 15 16 17 18 19 20        
                      21 22 23 24 25 26 27        
                      28 29 30        
                
Sunday,     November   7th,    4:00 pm    Trivia Challenge (Game 1) 
Wednesday,  November  10th,   2pm-10pm    PK BattleZone (HELP BATTLEZONE 
                                                         for more info)
                                   7pm    PK Meeting with Sandra
Thursday,   November  11th,    7:30 pm    Q&A in the OOC Auditorium
Sunday,     November  14th,    4:00 pm    Trivia Challenge (Game 2) 
Monday,     November  15th                Sandra's PK Game Results Avail.
Wednesday,  November  17th,   2pm-10pm    PK BattleZone 
Thursday,   November  18th,    7:30 pm    Q&A in the OOC Auditorium
Wednesday,  November  24th,   2pm-10pm    PK BattleZone 
Thursday,   November  25th                Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday,    November  30th,   11:59 pm    Prompt Contest Entries 
                                                 Due to Natalia

Subscribe via iCal or view the calendar with any browser. 
___                                                               ___
\  |-------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|         New Contest Announced: SEND US YOUR PROMPTS!        |__\
   '-------------------------------------------------------------'
   
We are holding a contest to find new prompts for the prompt library.
Impress your friends, make your enemies jealous, and win fantastic
prizes doing it! Prizes and eternal fame are yours for the taking!

- include colors, delimiters, whatever you use for a prompt.
- combat and group prompts are also welcome.
- feel free to include a short note explaining your prompt, but
  it isn't necessary.

   Use the PROMPT SHOW, CPROMPT SHOW and GROUPFORMAT SHOW commands 
           to grab everything you need to submit!

    I can be reached at [email protected] or via mudmail. 

  The contest closes at 11:59 pm system time November 30, 2004.

     I look forward to receiving your submissions. Thank you.

- Natalia
___                                                               ___
\  |-------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|                       Recent Updates                        |__\
   '-------------------------------------------------------------'

    /\                      CODE UPDATES
   /  \     
  /    \    MISC CHANGES
 /_    _\     o SEND <note> gm <all|rp|pk|keyword> feature added.
   |  |     
   |  |     BUG FIXES
   |  |       o PROMPT PREVIEW <person> no longer shows descriptions
   |__|         instead of names
    /\        o PURIFY no longer shows as qualifying if you're evil.
   /  \       o WARN: Morts now ONLY get their own warnings sent to
  /    \        them no matter what argument used
 /_    _\     o Fixes a bug with HEALING BALM - if no target
   |  |         specified, defaults to self.
   |  |       o Crashing bug fixed.
   |  |     
   |__|     TYPO FIXES
    /\        o Extra blank line pulled from people leaving aboard
   /  \         vehicles.
  /    \    
 /_    _\   
   |  |                   HELPFILE UPDATES
   |  |     
   |  |     AGINOR, ARKENSTONE, AUGUSTUS, CLUTCH, GAIL, HUNTER_ROSE,
   |__|     SANSARIA, SYLIA, ANNDEATH, BLIND FIGHTING, CRITICAL HIT,
    /\      FAQ, GAMES, GROUPFORMAT, PING, PKILL, PRETITLE, PURGE,
   /  \     RULES, SELL_HOUSE, STATUS, SUICIDE, TICK, TIME, UPDATES
  /    \    
 /_    _\   
   |  |                     AREA UPDATES
   |  |     
   |  |     If you want to suggest specific improvements or new
   |__|     additions to existing areas please don't hesitate to
    /\      submit them with the idea/bug/typo commands or drop
   /  \     mudmail to the builder currently responsible for the area
  /    \    (check AREAINFO to find out!).
 /_    _\   
   |  |     Thanks to everyone that submitted bug/typo/idea reports!
   |  |     
   |  |     
   |__|     ANASAZI AMERICA
    /\           Adjusts AC on a couple of mobs.
   /  \     THE CRUSADES
  /    \         Makes a few AC adjustments. Thyme reward back in AT
 /_    _\        but more controlled this time. It's possible to get
   |  |          a permanent dragonslayer posttitle now as well as
   |  |          the temporary.
   |  |     CELTIC IRELAND
   |__|          A couple of tweaks in housing to get BUILD QUERY to
    /\           report correctly. XP tweaked slightly on a couple of
   /  \          mobs. Young warriors should be using the type of
  /    \         weapon indicated by their long descriptions.
 /_    _\   KLEINSTADT
   |  |          Some acts cleanup and some AC adjusts.
   |  |     PORT OF LONDON
   |  |          Yet another fix for the nurse -- the real cause of
   |__|          the problem has been found!
    /\      ANCIENT NAZCA, ARABIAN NIGHTS, GENERIC ANIMALS,
   /  \     LARDERELLO, ROMAN BRITAIN, SAN FRANCISCO, SEONI JUNGLE,
  /    \    and SHERWOOD
 /_    _\       Various minor bug and typo fixes.
   |  |     
   |  |     
   |  |                    In Progress Area Updates
   |__|     
    /\      This section is intended to share what builders are 
   /  \     working on behind the scenes. It is not a perfect record
  /    \    of progress as all builders do not commit updates every 
 /_    _\   week. Badgering builders about progress gets you flogged. 
   |  |     
   |  |             Nestor        Ancient Carthage
   |  |             Nestor        Antebellum Louisiana
   |__|     
___                                                               ___
\  |-------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|         LegendMUD October 2004 Connection Analysis          |__\
   '-------------------------------------------------------------'

                       Peak Mortal Players 41
                         Average Peak was 34
                    Peak PKOK Enabled Players 27
                    Peak PKE Enabled Players 10
             PKEnabled Characters represent approximately
                       14% of active players.
             PKOKenabled Characters represent approximately
                       57% of active players.

                   Peak Accept All Characters 6
             Accept All Characters represent approximately
                    7% of all active characters and 
                12% of active pkok enabled characters.

The first two tables below show the Average Mortal Players, Average
PKOK Enabled Players, and the number that were "Accept All" connected
to Legend by hour of the day as polled approximately on the hour
system time during the period noted above.

The third table shows the same averages calculated by day of week.

              hour  0  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 10 11
              ------------------------------------------
              avg  16 15 13 12 10  8  8  9 12 13 15 16
              pkok  9  8  7  6  5  5  5  6  7  7  8  9
              aas   1  1  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  1  1
              pke   2  2  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  1  2


              hour 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
              ------------------------------------------
              avg  17 20 20 22 21 22 23 23 26 27 24 21
              pkok 10 12 12 13 13 13 13 13 14 15 13 11
              aas   1  1  1  1  1  2  1  1  2  2  1  1
              pke   2  2  2  3  3  4  4  4  4  4  3  2


              day   MON  TUE  WED  THU  FRI  SAT  SUN
              ------------------------------------------
              avg    17   18   18   18   15   17   17
              pke     2    3    3    2    2    1    2
              pkok    9   11   11   11    8    9   10
              aas     1    1    2    1    1    0    1


         MON          TUE          WED          THU          FRI
   AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA
---------------+------------+------------+------------+------------
 0: 12  0  7  0| 15  1  8  1| 20  3 10  1| 18  2 11  2| 14  2  7  0
 1: 12  0  7  0| 12  1  6  1| 17  2  9  1| 14  2  8  1| 12  1  6  0
 2: 14  0  8  0| 13  2  8  1| 14  2  9  1| 13  1  8  1| 12  0  6  0
 3: 13  0  7  0| 14  2  9  1| 11  2  6  1| 13  2  8  1| 12  1  6  0
 4: 11  0  5  0| 11  2  7  1|  9  2  5  1|  9  1  6  1| 10  1  5  0
 5:  7  0  5  0|  8  2  6  1|  8  1  5  1|  7  0  4  0|  8  1  4  0
 6:  8  0  6  0|  8  2  6  1| 10  2  7  1|  7  0  4  0|  8  0  4  0
 7:  8  0  6  0| 10  2  7  0| 12  2  8  1|  9  0  7  0|  9  0  5  0
 8:  9  1  6  0| 16  2  8  0| 13  1  8  1| 14  1  9  1| 12  1  7  0
 9: 11  1  6  1| 15  1  8  0| 10  1  7  1| 17  1  9  0| 13  1  7  0
10: 12  1  7  1| 15  1  8  0| 11  1  7  1| 15  1  8  1| 15  2  8  1
11: 17  1  7  1| 16  1  9  0| 14  2  8  2| 15  1  8  1| 16  2 10  1
12: 16  3  9  1| 15  2 10  0| 17  3 10  2| 17  2 10  2| 15  2  9  1
13: 15  4  9  2| 17  1 10  1| 23  4 15  2| 19  2 11  1| 16  2  9  1
14: 18  4 11  2| 19  2 10  1| 24  4 15  2| 17  2 10  1| 18  2 10  0
15: 21  3 11  3| 19  1  9  0| 27  5 18  2| 19  2 10  0| 19  2 11  0
16: 22  5 12  3| 20  5 13  2| 23  4 15  2| 18  2 10  1| 20  3 11  1
17: 24  6 13  3| 21  6 15  3| 24  7 15  2| 20  3 11  1| 23  3 13  1
18: 26  6 14  2| 21  5 13  1| 23  6 14  3| 24  5 14  1| 23  3 14  1
19: 27  6 15  2| 23  4 12  1| 24  4 15  2| 26  5 16  2| 22  4 13  1
20: 29  5 17  2| 31  5 17  2| 27  5 16  2| 29  4 17  2| 22  3 13  2
21: 27  6 15  3| 29  5 16  3| 31  5 17  3| 30  5 18  3| 24  3 13  2
22: 26  4 12  2| 26  4 14  2| 26  2 14  2| 28  4 17  2| 24  4 13  2
23: 21  2 11  2| 25  4 13  2| 23  3 14  2| 22  2 12  1| 18  2 10  1

                             SAT          SUN
                       AVG PK OK AA|AVG PK OK AA
                    --------------+------------
                     0: 15  2  9  1| 16  2  9  1
                     1: 14  2  8  1| 18  2 10  1
                     2: 11  2  6  1| 15  1  7  0
                     3: 12  1  6  0| 13  1  6  0
                     4: 11  0  5  0| 11  0  5  0
                     5:  9  0  4  0|  9  0  5  0
                     6:  9  0  4  0|  9  0  5  0
                     7:  9  0  4  0|  8  1  5  0
                     8: 10  1  5  1| 11  1  6  0
                     9: 12  0  6  0| 12  1  6  0
                    10: 16  2  9  1| 16  1  7  0
                    11: 18  2  9  1| 17  2  9  1
                    12: 23  2 13  1| 18  2 11  1
                    13: 25  1 15  0| 21  3 12  0
                    14: 20  0 12  0| 20  3 13  1
                    15: 23  1 13  0| 23  3 15  1
                    16: 24  1 14  0| 22  3 14  1
                    17: 20  2 11  1| 24  4 14  1
                    18: 19  2 10  1| 24  4 14  1
                    19: 21  2 10  0| 22  3 12  1
                    20: 22  2 10  0| 26  4 14  2
                    21: 25  3 13  1| 25  3 13  1
                    22: 22  3 12  1| 21  3 11  1
                    23: 21  2 10  1| 18  2  9  1

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
  _______   ____    _______
 /  ___  \ / __ \  /  ___  \  Logs of Q&A sessions are available on
 | /   \ | \ \/ /  | /   \ |  the the web pages for those who are
 | |   | |  \  /   | \___/ |  unable to attend or had to leave early.
 | |   | |  /  \/\ |  ___  |  The most recent ones are listed on the
 | | /\| | / /\  / | /   \ |  sitemap page or you can get a complete
 | \_\ \ | \ \/  \ | \   / |  list on the Q&A index page at the url
  \___\/_/  \__/\/ \_/   \_|  below.

     http://www.legendmud.org/Community/lectures/QandA/QA_index.html

Yes, there's still a backlog of them to be cleaned up (they're the
ones that don't have topics listed in the index) but they're posted!

                           RECENT TOPICS

o Spell on Lyre Better?             o Dex and Iron Will? 
o Forgotten Passwords?              o Token For Desc Change? 
o Social Ideas                      o TUMBLE w/o Iron Will? 
o Backstab/Dodge?                   o Banks, Lockers, Pawn Broker? 
o Houses/Furniture/CATALOG?         o Housing for Inferno? 
o One Legend Forum?                 o Clan Site Discussions 
o Desc Change Before LT? 
___                                                               ___
\  |-------------------------------------------------------------|  /
/__|  LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World  |__\
   '-------------------------------------------------------------'

              Static has reached 100 million experience!

             =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
       __________________
      ||=====\\__//=====||   Announcing: The LegendMUD Emporium
      |j___   `--'   ___|j
          |mud.      |                    at...
          |legendmud.| 
          |_______org|        http://www.cafepress.com/legendmud

Ever wanted a t-shirt with the Legend name on it? Ever felt the need
for a real Shadowlands lunchbox? Looking for a gift for that special
someone? You might be interested in the results of our new project,
located at http://www.cafepress.com/legendmud! This 'store' is a way
to get LegendMUD-printed gear -- check it out and let us know what
you think! Don't like what you see or have ideas for items that you
think should be added? Let us know! Our use of this service is a work
in progress, and we want it to reflect what you want.

The site set up so that it doesn't earn any profit -- if you decide
to do some shopping, it's the cheapest it can be, and we don't have
to worry about taxes and lawyers and stuff. Check it out!

Based on some player feedback, we've already changed a couple of the
offerings!

LadyAce/Sandra/Kaige

             =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                     Scavenger Hunt Results

                  Sorry for the delay on these!

            Our winner was Wren, with 31 points!
            2nd place went to Jander, with 30 points
            3rd place went to Claudia, with 28 points
            DarkTalon: 24         Axis: 18
            Jasra: 7              Lilac: 4

                            Congrats!

             =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                       Pumpkin Hunt Winners

The winner of the Halloween Pumpkin Hunt was Jupiter, with 107
Pumpkins found! Wow! 2nd place went to Horror with 90!

Zhirek 38            Axaxaxas 35          Trance, Zita 18
Kobald 15            Lenore 14            Yay, Trousers 12
Sigurd 11            Rockstar 8           Geraden, Khronos 7
Spellcaster 6        Aleena 5             Lime 4
Siachet, Drow, Raist 3
Acidity, Uggabagugga, Jar_jar, Florian, G'or, Hakkim 2
Kastina, Thewatcher, Malicious, Percy, Jean-Claude, Gondar, Bacchus
   Dam, Darktalon, Zane, Asterix 1

Hope you had fun :)

-LA
             =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                 Halloween Costume Contest Winners

Good work to everyone who participated in this year's costume
contest, and thank you to the judges!

Our contestants were:

Duckon, as "a streaker"
Aleena as "a bride in green"
G'or as "an Elvis impersonator"
Trousers as "a pair of pants"
Lenore & Darktalon as "a victim of implants gone wrong and a back
     alley doctor"

           The winning costume was Lenore & Darktalon!

Lenore wore:
  <worn on body>       rippling chest muscles
  <in many places>     deep, jagged wounds
  <in many places>     cruel scars

And Darktalon wore:
  <worn on finger>     a dirty sticking plaster
  <worn on finger>     a dirty sticking plaster
  <worn on head>       a surgical cap
  <worn on face>       a surgical mask
  <worn on legs>       a pair of white dress pants
  <worn on hands>      surgical gloves
  <worn about body>    a blood-stained lab coat
  <wielded>            a dirty scalpel (slightly damaged)
  <held>               a glass syringe (slightly damaged)

G'or took second place, and wore:
  <worn on feet>       a pair of red boots with silver stars
                         (slightly damaged)
  <worn about body>    a tacky white jumpsuit covered with blue stars
  <held>               a cup of butter
  <held>               a cup of brown sugar
  <held>               a chunk of burnt flesh

Aleena took third place, and wore:
  <worn on head>       a circlet of dark green roses
  <draped across face> a veil
  <worn about body>    an emerald silk dress
  <braided in hair>    a long length of red ribbon
  ___                                                          ___ 
  \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
  /__|                     Clan News                          |__\
     '--------------------------------------------------------'

      ----------.................._____________  _  .-.
  THE SEEKER                          _____.. . .   | |
                   _____....------""""             uuuuu
 ____....------""""                                |===|
                                                   |===|
            a weekly column                        |===|
            on the clans of Legend                 |===|
 _a:f____________________________________________ .[__N]. _______

We pick up this tale where we left off last week -- with knock at the
door from Haley to help with the interview, and the sound of LoJ
warcries echoing in our ears! When the fighting was finished, the
group settled back in to talk to us again. I asked them whether or
not they had any allies. Dharma indicated that Allegory qualified,
but explained that he was a member of an enemy clan, the Underworld,
and also that he insists that he doesn't love her. She added,
'Sometimes Allegory shows his love for me by jamming a piece of metal
into my back.' We decided to interpret this as a misguided but
well-meaning type of acupuncture.

Haley asked whether the clan was actively recruiting, and what sort
of recruits they're looking for. Galactus recommended that applicants
know the way of the axe, but Dharma clarified that 'Anyone who seeks
the way of Justice is welcome.' Applicants shouldn't expect endless
parties, but rather to truly join the fight for Justice.

Haley asked further about the clan's approach to new warriors. 
Dharma said that while most of the clan was composed of experienced
warriors, they hoped to recruit from among the inexperienced as well.
Geraden said, 'I have had little opportunity to do so, but I would
aid as I have been aided.' Dharma added, 'As long as your heart's in
the right place we don't care how far along you are physically.'

Vendetta, ever the recruiter, added, 'I think our greatest advantage
is that we are consistently present, and there is never a long period
of inactivity in most of our members.' If this lively interview,
punctuated by active conflicts, was any indication, the LoJ are
definitely an important clan to watch in the PK world -- or watch out
for, depending what side you stand on when it comes to promoting
Justice in the world!

Your faithful clan reporters,
LadyAce & Haley 

             =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

There are currently 19 RP clans and 3 PK clans. This leaves open
slots for ten (10) more clans to form. For more information, read
HELP CLAN and see the clan information list via the CLANS command
while logged into the game. For a basic handbook and reference guide
for players interested in starting and running a clan, we recommend
that before you even type FORM, you visit:
             http://www.legendmud.org/Reference/gm.html.
  ___                                                          ___ 
  \  |--------------------------------------------------------|  /
  /__|                     PK Front                           |__\
     '--------------------------------------------------------'

                      Sandra's PK Contest!

It looks like Vendetta and Horror are tearing up the masses. Are
you all going to let that happen!?

Sandra's Rules:

-Multikills don't count. Don't be a wuss.
-The winners are subject to Sandra's approval. If she get a lot of
 complaints about you, it sucks to be you!
-Don't complain just to complain. You're supposed to be a killer,
 suck it up and fight back, or retire and go sit in a corner.

Sandra tallies the kills every Monday for the previous week. That means
the week begins on Monday and ends on Sunday. She'll also be sending
notes to those involved in fights to make sure that they were fair
fights. No response to the note means that the fight was fair. That
means the week begins on Monday and ends on Sunday. Results for the
week are posted on the war board. Results for the top 3 will be
tallied and posted every 4 weeks!

             =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

If you witness or commit any glorious or nefarious deeds, send a
short report to us at the LT. If you are looking for a fight,
recruiting, or anything else related to PKill (not necessarily PK
Clan related), send it in! It's free AND you'll get a prize token! Be
a celebrity, the envy of all your friends! Tick off your enemies or
just tell your side of the story! Get YOUR name up in lights! We
can't report it if you don't tell us!
              _______________________
             /                       \
        o O | Wonder what folks are   |
  `\|||/    | doing over at LegendMUD?|
   (o o)     \_______________________/
ooO_(_)_Ooo__________________________________________________________
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|___
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|

                     Transition to Madness

I shall tell you a story of this world, but it cannot begin with
"Once Upon a Time"... Perhaps I should begin with my dream. Yes...
That is the best way to begin. Fairy tales are thick with funny
characters and happy endings. But this is no fairy tale. It is a
story forged in tears and blood. Besides...

I never liked fairy tales.

My dream... It was a strange one. I dreamt of the people whose deaths
I have brought about. Their screams, their blood... I awoke, sweating
and crying in fear. I wasn't sure what the dream meant, but I knew it
was something. Something was changing about my perceptions of life.

I pondered this odd dream for days, wavering between sanity and
insanity. What was I doing with my life? Why had I destroyed the
lives of so many people? Was I no better than them? But I finally
disregarded it. For weeks, I went about my usual routine, living by
my code. Bringer of death.

I was walking the streets of a town one night to find a group of men
about to... hurt a young woman. They grinned and laughed as they
threw her around, punching and kicking. I drew my blade, and spoke.
"Leave her now, or suffer the consequences." The men laughed at me,
and drew knives and swords of their own. One grabbed her from behind
and pressed his knife to her throat. The others charged. With the
precision and speed I had used so many times before, I met the battle
with no effort. With a flick of my wrist, a dagger was away. I didn't
even look, but I heard the "thump" as it hit the man who was
threatening the woman. My sword cut the next down, and as I swept it
through the next, realization racked my mind. The dream.

Bringer of death.

I felt his blood spray onto my face as he fell. I too fell to the
ground, on my knees, crying in pain at what I had done. How could I
have lived my life like this for so long? How, dear spirits, could I
have killed so many people, innocent or not? I grieved unto what I
had done. In a blind rage, I ran from the town, into the woods, to a
small lake. I wished to wash the blood of these men off of me. But I
knew that I could never wash my sins away. They would always follow
me, forever. As hard as I could, I hurled my sword into the lake.
People should never have to wield that accursed thing. As it
happened, I started to laugh. Falling backward, I laughed like a
madman.

Laughed.

I vowed, then and there, to bring the humor that once ruled my life
back into my persona. I then took on the alter ego "Pantsman".
Donning a cape and a pair of undershorts, I promised to make children
laugh and protect the weak at the same time. I knew that hell was in
my future, but I could at least start living my life the way it was
meant to live: to really help people. To show them the magic of
laughter, and the happiness of comedy. So, from here on, I shall be
known as Pantsman. Defender of truth, justice, and... Pants!

Trousers will no longer appear as:
     Short: the grey-eyed Seeker of Truth
     Long:  A warrior wielding a magnificent silver blade has come to
            rest here.

He will now appear as:
     Short: a hyperactive hero masked in pants
     Long: The infamous hero masked in pants is here, seeking justice.
           
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