Volume Four Issue Nine
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= .............._______ ............./ / THE LEGENDARY TIMES ............/ / .........../ /.....______.._____.....______.._____.......____ ........../ /...../ /./ \.../ /./ \...../ \ ........./ /...../ ___/./ ____/../ ___/./ __. \.../ /\ \ ......../ /...../ /_.../ /....../ /_.../ /..\ >./ /./ / ......./ /...../ __/../ /____../ __/../ /.../ /./ /./ / ....../ /_____/__/__../ \_\ /./ /__../ /.../ /./ /_/ / ...../ / /./ /./ /./ /.../ /./ / ..../ /_/..\______/./_____/./__/.../__/./_______/ MUD .../________________/ running on mud.aus.sig.net 9999 199.1.78.16 9999 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= http://mud.aus.sig.net/ ftp://mud.aus.sig.net/pub =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= VOLUME FOUR, ISSUE NINE April 16, 1997 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= From the Editor FROM THE IMPS DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES NEWS AND REPORTS LegendMeet Europe RP Competition News From CLeo LT Lottery SOLOMON'S STATISTICS OPINIONS AND IDEAS So You Wanna Get Married GOSSIP COLUMN What the Bluebird Dropped On My Desk LEGENDITES A Visit to the Inferno The McDougan/English, English/McDougan Dictionary Defending the Faith TWISTYPLOTS Clan Angesley FROM THE WAR ZONE Clanned Classifieds A Grendel Memorial News from Shotokai The Knights and Mercs Wage War =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Please send your responses to articles to the Legendary Times address at [email protected]. Letters to the editor and submissions are welcomed. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= From the Editor: Primarily, I'd like to apologize for not getting an LT out last week. Down-time on Tuesday/Wednesday (which is when I normally put together the issue) makes life difficult for me. All of the "weekly" reports this time are a compilation of two weeks (I'm behind, but they went on around me *eek*:). And so did the mortals, explaining why this issue is so long. On other issues, there's an article a bit further down that mentions giving PR immorts 24 hour notice for weddings. I'd like to reiterate that (that doesn't mean don't read the article: do please :), but we really need that notice. Weddings aren't that easy to do, and they take quite a bit of time. If you want anything special, that adds time. I try very hard to plan what work I'm going to do during the day, and spur of the moment, 2 hour long ceremonies make it very difficult. If you'd like to know when to find me, in particular, I try to make sure I'm on the mud and visible at least 4 hours between 5:00 and 11:00 mud time, about 3 days a week. I'm usually around a bit more than that (up to 7 days a week), but that's 12 hours right there, so that's all I schedule in :). I try (as above) to do the LT Tuesdays (sometimes on Wednesday as well, if it requires a lot of editing), and long, unplanned activities during that time put me way behind. So, please, try and plan your wedding, tinyplot, or other event a little in advance and give us some notice. Thanks, Sabella ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| FROM THE IMPS |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' Imps Weekly Reports: Kaige did a lot more work on Aztecs (she's working on finishing up the quests, and adding new ones), kicked around a new spin on axioms and how to make them more balanced under skilltrees, looked at Gail's warn code to figure out how it can be used in conjunction with clans, wrote a new imm command to make reimbing spell words MUCH easier (in light of the April Fool's reimburses), participated in discussions on tailor and axioms, and worked on a doozy of a document to try to collate all info on skill trees so it's available. More recently, she's been doing a lot of coding work: she cleaned out the bugs & typos files and cleaned up old ones to make it easier to find all the bugs/typos relating an area, fixed the bug in lights so they only report going out once and flicker as they get close to going out, added the synonym 'pose' for 'emote' (from mushes), added a border in the help files, cleaned up a bunch of warnings in various parts of the code, added all the above changes to the skilltrees code, and updated the way herbs are created under skilltrees (added a section to allow builder-defined herbs). Ptah worked up a doc on the axioms thing that Kaige proposed, talked about it with various folks, talked about tailor with people, integrated the new board stuff into the skill trees code base. Recently he coded READ NEXT so that you don't have to keep track of what append you are on anymore (this automatically rolls to the next post when the appends run out, and skips those pesky "That append does not exist" bugs), read over tailor document and started to try to integrate it with his own notions of tailor, started going through the ideas files, put in the new banners on the MOTD and news, and responding to board posts and other small admin things, like usual. ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| DEPARTMENTAL NEWS AND UPDATES |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' CODING Ea added code to strip out extraneous spaces in channels, and worked on the new hunt/track skills. Rufus made tells by imms to players always go through properly, worked on enhancements to the who and whoshort commands, and got more work done on adding spells, a more consistent function for calculating damage, and an addition to the object reset system, and made scatter not work in safe rooms. Gail implemented the unwarn command for imms, and added code to allow imms to add warnings to players who weren't present, started work on the ownership code, discussed what skilltree code could be installed pre-skilltrees, and added custom entry/exit messages to skilltrees. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= BUILDING Work progresses on the Abbey update (Charity), Klein hometown update (Sabella), the new Navaho area (Rufus), the new Trans-Paco Texas area (Joule), OOC/Clan Updates (Sandra), Aztecs update (Kaige), Romania update (Kheldar), the new Crusades area (LadyAce), and the new Mongol area (Alhazred). Leila's PR area and updates to the Recalltag Arena are close to completion. Rufus continues work on the base-file restructure. Wraith has completed work on the Generic Animals for skilltrees, and Zandy's area, Anasazi, is now in beta-test! Expect to see it soon! :) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= PLAYER RELATIONS Kaige set up the Easter Hunt, with rabbits hiding eggs and lots of Easter treats! She also set up the April's Fool Day, complete with reversed directions and login screen. Ptah posted an ad for Legend on the Mud Connector Bulletin Board. The accidental aftermath of April Fool's found us pitching in along with folks from building and admin to do reimbs (some of us also helped out during April Fool's itself, clanning folks and so forth). I'd mention everyone's names that helped out, only it was sorta hard to keep track of at the time. That and the usual assorted strings, registers, weddings, etc. kept us tidily busy. Flagg continues to count ballots for the Expies (which are due in a few days *blatant hint*). Leila's done lots of work on her prize machine, is working on a new Recall Tag Arena, and maintaining the PR area. She also did the LT Roving Reporter, as well as a new musical chairs game :) Lirra has been working on a character rp background workshop, Petal has been working on her murder mystery; she also ran a special St. Patrick's Trivia :). Kheldar's been doing research for a historical rp board for the upcoming ooc library, as well as running a levels 1-5 whois string game. Croaker ran trivia, Spencer ran the Q and A, and ParticleMan's been working on his scavenger hunt and character web pages (note, these web pages go on the players' servers, not our's). Sabella has been doing LT stuffs, as well as gathering some ideas for the lecture series, working on the clan S token game, and doing tinyplot stuff. Rusalka did (very) minor editing to Ptah's mud connector ad and posted it to a couple of newsgroups which she'll be tracking for responses, wrote some stuff for the LT, and put together the RP contest. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ADMINISTRATION As a department, we got started on new jobs, did clansets, unarchives, and restrings, reimbursed a lot of players, answered policy questions, kept visible, and monitored channels. Aermid got started working on help files. Baca bought a scanner and offered to serve as a clearinghouse for immort items designed for the web page, accept snail mail, scan, edit, and supply to whoever handles the page. Chocorua discussed the Grendel clan issue, and got the new immorts started on their weekly projects (help files (Aermid), statistic reports (Solomon), and report summaries (Govan)). Govan read through and cleared the idea.txt of useless comments for Ptah, began work on a rune project for Kaige, and did the weekly report summaries. Leila continues work on redesigning games so they do not require admin assistance. Sandra included all the old warnings into our new warn system, removed the Grendel clan per Chocorua's request, and caught up on description requests. Solomon compiled a summary of skills taught in each area for builders, began compiling skill stats from playerfiles, including the stats on herbal skill usage which he wrote up for the LT, is preparing this data for an upcoming contest to 'Guess the Top 10 Skills on Legend', and compiled stats on hometown breakdowns and an estimate of the clanned population. Wraith continues work monitoring and clearing all the boards. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| NEWS AND REPORTS |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' Legend Meet Europe I have started to think about organizing a Legend Meet Europe for the next year. I have already put a message on the Welcome board, and most Danish players appended it, and I know some others form other countries who would be glad to go to a Legend's players meeting. So, if you're interested, or if you're willing to give ideas or such, please mail me at: [email protected] -Guilhem de le de Lecoque =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Role Play Competition Last week, Rusalka held an impromptu role play competition at the Globe Theatre in Tudor London. Like Rufus, she asked participating players to act out a scene from Shakespeare, this one being the death scene from Romeo and Juliet. Four teams of players competed before a large audience, with interpretations ranging from Star Wars to hippydom. Memorable moments included one RomeoSkywalker being pushed out the airlock by his Juliet ("MY GOD, THE HUMANITY!") Romeo was also run over by a bus in a following scene, following his poignant discovery of the not-really-dead-Juliet. After much studied deliberation, Piccalo, the volunteer judge of the evening's festivities, declared Chimara's and Huma's scene to be the winner. Other teams included Mondain and Dial, Moonshade and Beam, and Harlequin and Palpatine. Watch out for future competitions! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= News From CLeo As some of you noticed, I haven't been online much lately. Partially because of college and a new challenge... I've been granted 'godship' in the building section on a new mud. It sure is one heck of a challenge, but I like it a lot. It's exactly what I need at this time. Having the '50th level blues', I didn't know what to do anymore. But don't get me wrong, I do like LegendMUD VERY MUCH! :) But I simply need something new to do. I will still come on LegendMUD from time to time. I wouldn't want to miss the implementation of the new skill tree (whenever it comes *smiles*). Also, please take note that, unfortunately, I will not be running my Charivari trivias and Dictionary trivias. I might do one like that for fun sometimes, but will all the building I'm doing I simply do not have the time anymore (on top of college). But one thing that I will continue to do is the 'Who's This?' monthly articles. Have fun everyone! -CLeo of the Circle of Angels, a.k.a. Xatreka Cakxetrok McDougan =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LT Lottery Starting this week, contributors to the Legendary Times (Articles, Letters to the Editor, Personals, Advertisments, etc) will be put into a Lottery Draw with the chance to win colour coupons, strings, strung items or unique prizes! It might as well be you! -From Leila and the Legendary Times Staff ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| SOLOMON'S STATISTICS |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' Popular Herbal Skills This week I have a breakdown of the number of characters with the various herbal skills. (I will be examining more skills in the future, believe me.) The total of all characters in this sample is 2143. % of Skill Number % of Total Herbalists Herblore 244 11.39 100.00 Purify 21 .98 8.61 Poultice 185 8.63 75.82 Augment 59 2.75 24.18 Brew 224 10.45 91.80 Make Amulet 51 2.38 20.90 Flavor 105 4.90 43.03 Foul 47 2.19 19.26 Root 67 3.13 27.46 From this chart, we can see that the most popular herbal skills (after herblore, of course) are brew, poultice, and flavor. In fact, most of the benefits from the herbal skill set come from these three skills. I find it interesting that there are so few characters with the augment skill. For comparison, there are 92 characters (4.29% of total) with the field surgery skill. By the way, at the moment there is no way for me to determine how many characters can actually use each of these skills all the time. The mud doesn't store adjusted stats for characters, only their natural stats. So, while there are quite a few of what I call 'spam-druids' who have to change their equipment to root or augment, they are lumped in with the herbalists who maintain their skills all the time. This also makes it incredibly difficult for me to figure out how many characters maintain 100 in any stat, which I'm very interested in. I'll keep trying to figure out how to do it, though. Anyway, please continue to send me suggestions and comments. ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| OPINIONS AND IDEAS |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' So You Wanna Get Married... (or, Matrimony in Ten Easy Steps) Ever since Hunter Rose and Katya's historic nuptials in the moors of Ireland, weddings have been one of the most popular Legendary social events (perhaps even more so than DT equipment finding parties!). On Legend, we've seen almost every type of wedding, from the traditional to the funky, and everywhere in between. But no matter what the style, every wedding needs planning. Weddings that are not planned tend to be messy at best. Remember that this is a very important day for your character, so don't just toss something off at the last moment. 1) If you want immortal involvement, ask well ahead of time. One hour is not enough. In fact, more than a day in advance is advised, especially if you wish something out of the ordinary. Yes, a PR staffer may do it on short notice, but it isn't likely to be his or her best work. Do remember that planning your ceremony is not the job of the immortal (you get to decide that!); rather, that person is a resource type to help you do what you want to have in your wedding. 2) Consider asking a friend to perform your wedding instead. I've seen some beautiful weddings that were performed by players IC. Somewhat related to this is having a mob (for instance, a priest), perform it, although of course, you'd need immortal involvement for that. 3) If you attend a wedding, by all means, keep your spam to yourself. It does nothing to enhance the mood. Yes, crying can be very effective, but I've seen everything from spell chanting to complete wardrobe changes at weddings. Lots of spam tends to make the immortal(s) involved pretty cranky, unfortunately. 4) The PR policy is one wedding string per player involved. Most people choose to make a ring with that string, but you might consider other alternatives as well. 5) Find cool stuff to wear. The mud is just abounding in dresses, suits, hats and so forth. Most anything that you might want to wear is around somewhere. 6) Don't forget the wedding boutique in the OOC, which carries items such as tuxedos, dresses, thank you notes, and so forth (yes, thank you notes are the classy way to go!). 7) Decide on what type of wedding you want and the appropriate historical setting for it. Bear in mind that Christian wedding ceremonies are a relatively new thing. Consider doing, for instance, a service that is tailored to the locale (for instance, Isobel and Alistaire were married in prehistoric Ireland via a pagan wedding service that their players researched especially) On the other end of the spectrum, a Catholic High Mass in the Cathedral in France could be quite spectacular. Or a Hindu service in India. Have some fun with this. 8) The traditional western wedding ceremony generally consists of a "dearly beloved" bit, a "do you promise to love, honor, cherish" section, and a "with this ring I thee wed" part. Many people, RL and IC choose to write their own vows for the ring section. If you do choose to do so, be sure to get those vows to the person performing the service well ahead of time. 9) Mages are very handy types of people to get involved in these kinds of activities. Create mages can make nifty looking illusions, while cause mages can do really nice sudden effects (kinda like when an immortal does an echo). As with immortals, be sure to ask them well in advance for their assistance (and feed them plenty of wedding cake!) 10) If you do want this to be a public event, ADVERTISE. Or, if you only want some folks there, send invitations (yes, you can buy them in the OOC boutique). Invitations are a classy touch and definitely raise the mood (unless, of course, you don't want that, as in an elopement). 11) Plan a reception that ties in the locale's elements (for instance, Rusalka and Bart held their reception in the Dun in Ireland, with the help of some specially pre-bought spirits). 12) ROLEPLAY. (just in case that hadn't already come through in the above suggestions!) -Rusalka =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ________________________ / \ o O | Wonder what folks are | `\|||/ | doing over at LegendMud?| (o o) \________________________/ ooO_(_)_Ooo_____________________________________________________________________ _____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|__ __|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____| What the BlueBird of Happiness Dropped on My Desk! The merry melody of our sweet songbird turned rather gloomy as she peered over Shalindra's shoulder while the tearful tyke torturously penned the following note: I needs a new mommy, does anyone want to be my new mommy? My mommy's been gonned for years and years and I don' think she 'members me acouse she's always drinkin an wenchin an liddle kids isn't fun like that. I's fibe years old, and I's gots a brother, a grammpa, aunties, an an uncle, and a little sister, Vashi. I's can shoot flamin arrows at trees an tree huggers, an I can do magic thingys and I can be invisuble. Yu better like snakes too. Pleeeeese mail Shali if yu wants to be my mommy. Ooky people needs not apply! The curious crow-cousin watched in awe as Valis underwent a strange operation, performed by a decidedly sneaky looking man in the Hall of Legends. The machinations of the sneaky man were adequate for some cults however, as the midnight skinned man is now a priestess. Unreliable at best, our scandalmonger has come up with a piece of gossip so far out that... well, you can't get further out, really. Our slurring and wheezing Scotsman, who used to rely heavily on his headache medicine (according to McDougan, his drinking is the reason why he's never had a headache in his life) has decided to live with the headaches and the fair maiden Katarina. Many were the gasps of astonishment when this solemn vow was made! Our winged reporter looks forward to discovering whether McDougan will now be able to speak understandable English since he has given up his trusty bottle marked XXX - Warning: May be dangerous to health and liver. Not all, however, view this merry occasion with happiness... Our gossip mongering bird later came upon Huggy, who appeared rather upset. Although Huggy seems relieved that Katarina is marrying McDougan and will no longer compete with her for the attentions of the good Dr. Zhivago, she suspects foul play. Our bluebird considers this to be a streak of paranoia. How on earth would McDougan be able to cast a love spell on Katarina, when he cannot even pronounce "Abracadabra" without adding a minimum of five sh's? The wedding is reputedly taking place next Saturday, and given the large amount of people who will want to come see McDougan quaff his last whisky, it might be wise to arrive early to get a good seat. [Editor's note: Due to the fact that this is a late LT, the wedding took place last Sunday. Look for an upcoming report in these pages.] The effects of the sneaky man may be regarded dubiously by our avian aria-singer, but she seems to approve of Erica's effect on Hastur. The drunken scottish mage has sobered up, at his wife's request, and now the charming wizard lumbers about the mud in his tartan. Our acclaimed "honest thief", Kahlil recently made a solemn vow (incidentally in the presence of our pop-corn munching bluebird) swearing that after having spent time in Nottingham jail, he'd never, ever kill the king's deer again - and it was only one stag anyway! After having heard Kahlil's description of the place, our reporter decided never to even rest atop a stag's antlers again, either. Just in case. Our tiny tattler shared Lethargio's bafflement as our American Red Cross member, until now quite satisfied with his own appearance, suddenly discovered that not only had someone nicked his normal boots, but actually replaced them with a fancy pair of black boots with golden spurs! Our winged sneak took off from Lethargio's shoulder quickly as he shrieked in terror, and pondered the meaning of his words: "I've lost my boots! Where did this multi-colored strung item come from? Who did this evil deed? Must be a conspiracy!" The soulful strains of a duet rang across Legend, as our cyan songtress bade farewell to Llewellyn. The cynical Celtic bard slouched silently off to the corner, where he now spends his time slacking off. Our winged warbler was taking a quiet nap at the Silver Branch Inn, when she was awakened by the unmistakable voice of Fraegis, introducing himself to the kind Angesley forerunner, Sharri. The two whispered quietly by themselves, much to the distress of the third party present, the evasive Armand, who seemed as nervous as the bluebird was boggled. Anxiety was thick in the air, for no visible reason whatsoever, and our reporter craned her feathered neck further yet when Fraegis suddenly leaped high into the air and cried out with glee. Rummaging through his backpack, Fraegis procured what, to the bluebird, looked like a pale lump of meat which he handed to Sharri. Sharri glanced at it with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. Fraegis and Armand, not to mention one blue featherball, keenly observed how Sharri slowly and carefully applied as much ketchup required to the meat (reputedly a filet of the father of all vampires) to render it completely tasteless, then quickly gulped it down! A grin spread slowly over Fraegis' face, and from the conversation that followed it would appear that Armand and Fraegis had made a friendly wager as to whether Fraegis could indeed convince the otherwise very vegetarian Sharri to consume this filet of vampire... Tis said, claims our bluebird, that knights are sworn to protect the weak, and even more so the weaker sex. So our winged reporter obviously was a bit baffled when it came upon the Templar, Tancred, pursuing a quite weak-looking servant girl through the streets of London. What's to be said to that, except knighthood obviously isn't what it should be these days. Our lilliputian levitator watched curiously as the students of Kleinstadt went on strike. Apparently they want another teacher, as Fraulein Schmidt insists on starting the class as scheduled, while her students are being slaughtered one by one. The prying bluebird, after reading the report on a Modern Marriage in the last LT, was stunned to discover that Morphine and Jeremy's wedding was followed only an hour later with a modern Divorce. Our little friend wonders if it had something to do with the length of the honeymoon. In any case, they just don't make marriages like they used to. ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| LEGENDITES: Information Regarding the People of Our World |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' A Visit to the Inferno It was a quiet night when my dear friend Vajrapani came to ask a favor from me. He had heard of great wisdom lying in the bottoms of hell, and needed somebody to guide him about. As I never ventured to hell by myself, I was hesitant, but figuring that there always was a first time for everything, I agreed. Packing a few herbs and bandages in case things went awry, we rendered ourselves invisible before entering hell. The journey went smoothly, with minor skirmishes with lustful souls which we dispatched with relative ease. However, being lost, we wandered around the 2nd and 3rd circles of hell, looking for Sen. When we found him, we tried to look for his minions, but instead, we ran into a three-headed dog. Cerberus was its name, and it leaped at our throats at the first glance. My attempts to calm the hideous creature only resulted in it grinning, then going after my throat again. We fled to the banks of Acheron, and decided to try patching ourselves up, when Cerberus struck again. I fell, then not long afterwards, so did Vajrapani. When we returned from the dead, we found Cerberus waiting by our corpses, and it killed me once again. We screamed for help, but nobody came. Vajrapani, deciding that my corpse was worth more than his, decided to lure Cerberus as far out as he could, and his corpse was subsequently lost further down in hell. As I retrieved my equipment, Leah came to the rescue, offering to take care of Cerberus. The worst seemed to be over. But before we could reach Vajrapani's corpse, the world collapsed, and everything was lost. Everything Vajrapani had owned disappeared as the world came back to order. He had saved my belongings by drawing the dog out, but we could not save him. It was a humbling experience, feeling utterly helpless and being saved by somebody far junior than myself. -Warke Ekraw, an old druid. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The McDougan/English, English/McDougan Dictionary by Professor Thrakken, Dean of languages and Certified Insane Chap McDougan is a horrid, smelly, drunken old fool, commonly known as a Scotsman. It has been my personal research Goal to learn to translate his garble while causing the most torture possible, as is the duty of any good Proffessor of Languages at Legendary University who happens to be English. So, without further delay, I will teach you a few of the things I have learned, so I may keep my professorship. ETHNICITIES ENGLISH McDOUGAN ---------------------------------------------------------------- Scotsman | Shcotchman Welshman | thatch nishe weelsh fellaw; weelshmeeen Frenchman | shnail-eatchersh Norseman | bashtrrrrrd Spainard | bashtrrrrrd Agrarian | bashtrrrrrd Irishman | bashtrrrrrd dresh-wearin druid Egyptian | Thatch bloody bashtrrrd shmelly brindal American | Whrrr be thatch? whoot? ye eshpecht me t' believe thatch? I wauld fall oof th' edge o' th' woorld! Hittite | Proobubbubbly a bashtrrrrd English | Wonderful, perfect person I would love to be like and who everyone should look up to, especially that wonderful Professor Thrakken! OTHER PHRASES NUMBERS Well | weel 0 | tree sheep nnd a goat yes | Aye 1 | un old | auld 2 | two Alas! | Waesucks! 3 | tree no | Nay 4 | foor idiotic fool | clanmatche; shon; 5 | fibe daugtcheer, etc. 6 | shiksh K (as in 3K) | myshtich Kay 7 | sheven revolting garbage | haggish 8 | aitche cat youling | mushich 9 | neen don't | dunna 10 | teen can't | canna know | ken know not | kenna PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES Constitution | coonshteetoosheenal Dexterity | deshtrrritchy Mind | Shoomthing ye dunna need Spirit | th' shpiritch o' th' shcottish (ed. note: UGH!) Perception | blearinesh Strength | Shtreeenth I hope this allows you to insult him and parodize him with greater ease. Thank you, me good chaps! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Defending the Faith? Submitted by Mitra Lately, a new order of knights has risen up, knights who are dedicated to the advancement of the Catholic faith in the lands of the Heathen. Despite their truly noble intentions, it was inevitable that certain conflicts would arise between them and others of Legend's population. Pentara, a druidess of Clan Angelsy, peered at Tancred of Nottingham, looking him up and down. She had long grown tired of the idle threats of this Christian against the heritage of her people. Despite their claims of virtue, the Christians wreaked havoc wherever they went, hunting out Druids from every crevice of Britain. 'Obviously, mine is not the only Order to be accused of promoting selfish interests in return for mercy?' Tancred of Nottingham said to Pentara. He in turn had grown weary of her stubborn refusal to acknowledge the faith of his cause. Meanwhile, the audience settled in to enjoy the show, feasting on buttered popcorn and passing around the Snowcaps. 'I shall destroy the pagans, and become rich, for it is my dream to show my father that first born is not best,' Mondain said to Tancred of Nottingham. Meanwhile, Pentara continued her attack, 'I see even you who pretend to ignore the earth's power, hold the dropping of a rat in thy hand. You are using the earth's power, even as you scorn the old ways.' Tancred retorted, 'I believe, o ignorant one, that ALL of creation is the domain and power of the Holy Trinity.' Mondain watched with growing frustration-finally he beseeched Tancred 'Let me spill Pentara's blood upon this earth she so desires.' He glared icily at her. While the rest of the audience was absorbed by the drama before them, Mitra, a lissome young girl, got out the JuJuBees and began passing them around, much to the amusement of several members of this otherwise dramatic occasion. Meanwhile, Tancred turned to Mondain, and admonished, 'Young one, sully not thy hands with the blood of ignorants.' Mondain sighed heavily. Tancred continued, 'She seekest to sully thy virtue and lead thee into sin.' Still, Mondain persisted,, 'The ignorant must be slaughtered.. for they are but pigs grazing in the fields.' It was at this point that one of the members of the audience decided to ask a question. 'What's sin?' she asked, even as Pentara declared 'Ah your "holy" trinity is nothing but an illusion made by your priests and those who call themselves holy to deny the power of the earth.' The audience looked slightly confused as the conversation threatened to veer into two contradictory directions. Meanwhile, a tattooed Welshman finished off the JuJuBees, box and all. He burped. Swiftly and decisively, Tancred regained control, 'Pagans are to be destroyed, msieur, but it is yon better to convert them,' Even more meanwhile, a German Adventurer wondered what 'ignorance' was, and Pentara attempted to seduce Mondain, who didn't seem to like it overly much. 'Perhaps,' she suggested to him, you, pretty one, should join me at the Beltane fires next year.' Tancred shuddered, and fearing for the safety of Mondain's soul, admonished him to 'Put thy faith in the cross, msieur, and be strong.' Mondain carefully considered his options and replied to Pentara, 'As long as you are burning in them.' She growled at him, and a voice from the audience announced 'that wasn't very nice!' Resolutely, Mondain declared, 'I will not convert a soul, but I shall use force and my will to change them, or destroy them.' He quietly snarled. Even as, Tancred urged him 'Brother, remember to turn the other cheek,' and to 'Recall that Christ, and not we, shall be the judge,' Mondain turned to the audience, saying, 'The world is not a nice place is it..?' Pentara, his druid opponent also explained to them that 'Even we druids have been known to use force on occasion... but we only do so to defend our lands from barbarian Christian raiders who would destroy our way of life.' 'I cannot turn a cheek when I see such evil, and evil shall only be destroyed, not converted,' Mondain explained to Tancred. Said Pentara, 'Is it any surprise that I hate the Christians, when they have tried to take my home and beliefs from me?' 'Mademoiselle,' Tancred exclaimed, 'It is not we Christians here who display our foul sorcery, and sully the air with cheap insults!' Pentara snorted in derision. 'My sorcery is stronger than your Christian faith!' 'I have no doubt of that!' was his reply, 'The cheap, filthy ways of Hell are always easier to master!' He turned to look her in the face, 'But it is thy soul that shall burn in hell eternally, not mine - I trust.' Coolly, she replied 'There is no Hell, or heaven, it easy to imagine if you try...there is only the earth, and the power of the earth.' She sat down and turned her thoughts to the earth. 'See how the earth sustains me?,' she asked. 'And lemming power...' a tattooed Welshman helpfully added. Meanwhile, Mondain and the audience debated the lifestyle choices available to peasants. Returning to the main thrust of the argument, Tancred retorted, 'And the insulting of men of other faiths?' 'I only insult those foul Christians who have overrun my land with their barbaric customs!' Pentara replied. She sadly lamented 'Gone are the druid circles, gone the days of happy druids hugging trees...' Tancred blinked. 'Protestant London is thy land? 'Thou art welcome to it - I care little for Protestants myself.' She replied 'I come from a time far off, before the foul curse descended on these lands... when the Beltane fires burned bright and our circles were to be found throughout the land. My quest is to erase the deprecations of the invaders, and return England to its original state. Said Tancred, 'I have no doubt that fires burn brightly where thou origins from.' 'I do not speak for all of Angesley in my hatred of the Christians...' Pentara continued, 'I am sure some believe we can coexist. But my land was ravaged by the barbarians, and I must avenge it!. She turned to Tancred. "I will agree to coexist with your Christian faith if you can show me some proof of its power. Show me this Hell of yours.' 'Gods power does not need show itself foolish pagan,' Mondain retorted. He turned, and resumed his questioning of a German Adventurer and Mitra, trying to decide whether they were of noble enough blood for him to consider associating with. Tancred of Nottingham says to Pentara, 'And I, mademoiselle, should accept thy heathen ways if I was to see evidence they were not heathen. Meanwhile, tempt me not, for it is fruitless' Prove to me that thou art a good servant of the Lord in heart and soul.' The pause was pregnant with silence. Then, tearfully, Tancred turned to Pentara, 'Show me some proof' 'Are you waiting for a sign?,' she asked. 'I am waiting for thee to prove thy kindness to man,' he told her. 'Do not try good sir, for she is incapable of it,' Mondain advised Tancred. And thus it came to pass that Pentara produced a sign of the good will of the Goddess, armor to protect the limbs of the noble Tancred. And he liked it not, but handed it back to her with a scowl. And so they argued on, even unto the night and the next day, with no resolution yet in sight, for she would not back down her cause, and neither would he his, and they parted sworn enemies. And many questions yet remained, and shall remain until the Goddess or Lord Christ will it otherwise, concerning the nature of sin, JuJuBees, and the hygienic habits of Strassendirnen. ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| TWISTYPLOTS: Smooth Curves and Sharp Turns of Legendary Socieites |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' Clan Angesley I am only one, But still I am one. I cannot do everything, But still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can. Edward Everett Hale -Angesley, just didn't know it ;) Clan Angesley is a RolePlay clan dedicated to preserving the Natural Balance of our world, guide and assist the weak, and creating an enviroment in which all of Gaia's creatures can grow and prosper. You are encouraged to do what you can along these lines within the boundaries of the Newbie Helpers (ie: don't give out quest answers, instead give tips or suggestions on alternate approaches, etc.) Our Council Members include Istishia, in charge of the Apprenticeship program, Jen-Creature, PlayerRelations, and myself, everything else. Also Alistaire continues to lend his many years of wisdom as our advisor. A big congratulations to Tor who has graduated the Apprenticeship program!! He has been seen wielding those augmented poultices like a madman, and the world is a healthier place for it!! =) Go in Peace! Sharri ___ ___ \ |----------------------------------------------------------------------| / /__| FROM THE WAR ZONE: Information From the PK Front |__\ '----------------------------------------------------------------------' Remember when the Legendary Times once included all the clan happenings, transcripts of battles over chat, and other pkill topics? Well, you'll be pleased to know that it's going to be a regular feature once again. I've taken over the job of writing this section, and you can expect it to contain general pkill events (including roleplay events), interviews, advertisements, and other information regarding clan activity. - Pegasus ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Clan Classifieds (The purpose of this section is to allow for clans to post ads regarding new members and clan services. Also, anyone wanting to join a clan, can place an ad here as well) ________________________________________________________________________________ | Just to let everyone know: Do you | | | have a problem with a certain | | | someone? or perhaps a group of people | The Prophets of Iscariot seek | | that wont leave you alone? Well | enlightened beings to join them on | | you've come to the right place. Clan | their quest for ... well, whatever | | Merc offers PK deals to those with | it is they're questing for! Please | | some $$. There is almost always a | contact me if interested. | | merc online you can ask about our | Lust, GM -- Iscariot | | prices. If we aren't just mud-mail | | | Me or any of my fellow Mercenaries | | | and we'll get back to you. | | | -Onyx | | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Grendel Memorial The Grendels, once renowned for their violent and unjust ways in the pkill world, have been forced to disband their clan. With only a handful of members left, and no Guildmaster, they had no choice but to leave. The clan was deleted and the remaining members had to go their own way. Will there be another clan like the Grendels? We'll have to wait and see. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ News from Shotokai For those of you who do not know us, we are a role-play centered pkill clan here on Legend. We are an active and growing clan, but somewhat secretive in our clanned activities. Our web page is finally up at http://perso.magic.fr/abe/welcome/html, come visit us ! The Shotokai watched with interest the brief battles between the Knights and Coven and the Knights and Mercs, but have elected not to involve themselves in these minor squabbles (so far). Quixotic, returned from his long winter in the East studying the dark arts, challenged Egami for clan supremacy and was vanquished in a swift and deadly duel. Despite having great advantages in experience and power, Egami was dying when Quixotic was forced to flee to sanctuary. Based on his performance in this and other tests, Quixotic has been elevated to the 2nd Kyu within the Shotokai hierarchy ! The Shotokai welcome inquiries from those interested in clanning as an outlet for roleplay, pkill, or increased knowledge of the MUD. Please direct inquiries to Egami by mudmail or ask any members on line with Shotokai in their title. Thanks, I'll send more next week :) -Quixotic ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Knights and Mercs Wage War Things have been heating up between the two clans lately, after a contract was carried out by the mercs against a knight. The repercussions of this have stirred up hostilities between the clans, and rumor has it, that the Coven had something to do with it. The mercs laid down their terms of peace, which were denied by Sir Arsene, the deputy GM of the knights. Here's the transcript of what Sir Arsene had to say: Pegasus: Arsene, could you tell me how this war originated? Arsene: Ok, me, Tarbash and Morphine are on an xp run with me operating. Kinda weird but. Then Coven jumps me and Tarbash and Morphine in Salem after we had drubbed Ingersoll. I was in surgeon gear, had just finished operating on Morph, and they struck. I fled, changed eq and rented and came back, but I had only 200hp left or so, so we ran. Morphine just stood there. Things got heated. Diet came on. The Coven called Lust in. They ran me to ooc from Tara, and Diet and Tarbash came to help and we had it out. They won that. Tarbash rented, then we were all at the altar. P: So no one had been killed yet? A: Beam came in. He was watching, but I called Huma and Coug to take away Lust which they did. Arsene shakes his head. No. [Noone had died yet.] Then the Coven ran. We were going to trans after them, but they doubled back knowing Coug and Huma wouldn't attack Coven so they left Lust out. Then they caught us in Nazca and recalled Diet and killed me. Then we tossed junk. P: Tossed junk? A: Talked trash to each other. It was pretty much over. Next day the Mercs jump Tarbash with their wolfpacks of impossible odds. And well, we were quite miffed. I had told Morphine I would come after them if this happened. P: And what was her reaction? A: Not much dialogue. And of course the rest of the Knights were out to stop this and get revenge. Well Kall and Diet and some others ran Onyx and Huma to ground a few times. Keyzer started 'helping' us and Thrash too. Diet and a couple others beat Morphine and Payne up and they fled. P: I've heard rumors about Keyzer causing Kall to be multi'd, is that true? A: I'll get to that. All this time we were at it with Coven. Next day Valis announces 'the call of the priestess' on chat. 30 minutes later she backstabs me in Klein. I had just come from HOL and was beat up and I rented out for a few. Then Kall moves into action. Not going for Mercs but Valis. After I left, he went for her, but since Onyx might help he gets Keyzer. This is kinda funny if you arent Kall. Well Kall has a keyword of 'one' and Onyx is there too. My guess is that Keyzer got Kall on mistake. And then the door got closed. Poi was in there too. His keyword is young which is like Onyx's youth. That confused more. But Valis and Onyx and Kall are blind closed in the inn. Kall and Valis rent first, I think. Valis kills Kall, who had reblinded Onyx. So Onyx rents, I think and after Valis kills Kall, Onyx comes in with a Kall attack pretyped. I think, no one is sure. P: So that's basically how it all started? A: Well we weren't mad at the multi. At least I wasnt; knew it was an accident. The Valis incident was small. Morphine was just mad about the earlier attacks and that one too. So right before the site locked Huma or Onyx tells me Morphine had declared war. The night after Tarbash was killed, we killed Abigail, 3 on 1, then 3 on 2 when Abigail got justice, and Poi was with us. P: Why was that? A: For jumping us the night before, and we thought that she had hired the Mercs. I had told Claudia if she used Mercs, I would, with Diet, call on our Secretive friends of the past, and I did. We used the 3 on 1 tactics to prove a point. P: These tactics aren't condoned by the Knights are they? A: No we condemn them, but as long as Morphine uses them against us we will use them too, and Abigail had hired them, I thought. So i ended up killing her and Justice, whom I didnt want to kill, but it happened. P: Did they say much about it? A: Yes, after I killed Abigail, I got her to admit on chat she hired the Mercs. This led to a big jumping me while I was mobkilling in WW1 and killing me kinda easy. Then we got real mad and I mailed Claudia, who was trying to start an rp war, that a real war might be coming. Then the site locked, I come back on and things are percolating. But me and Kall ended the Coven thing with peace. But, as I said, Morphine had declared war. So things are now at a point that both sides are going out in wolfpacks looking to pounce. We are trying to get help from the other clans to tell Morphine her wolfpacks are not a good idea. P: When you say wolfpacks, how many does that imply? 3? 4? more? Just to clarify this for everyone else. A: Basically a wolfpack to me is odds of 3 or more to 1. Then I got Solon, whom Firestarter had just tried to do in, and a bit of help from Keyzer and we went for her. We chased her from london to her hall and that was all that happened tonight. You saw Morph's peace terms? P: Yes. A: They were an insult basically. Stephen actually tried to get us to vote, but me and Kall reasoned thus: We in our code condemn Mercs on general principle the whole idea of hired assassins. P: Oh, I wasn't aware of that. A: That is an rp clash that cant be avoided, but we don't expect them to stop killing for money, that is their rp and ooc I respect that. Toranthaz just came back on last night and I didnt talk much to him about it. P: So the Hermetics haven't played any part in this yet? A: Not yet :). They are on good terms with both, and Sinbad didnt want to make a move without Toranthaz. They wont fight us and maybe not the Mercs. So this is clan, personal and family a bit, to me. P: Well, thanks for your time, I'll try and talk with one of the Mercs, and hear their side of the story. Unfortunatly, I was unable to interview a Merc in time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, that's all for this weeks edition; look forward to seeing a whole lot more next time. If you have any *interesting* information, or other relevant material, like letters, ads, suggestions or just general comments, feel free to mudmail them to me. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Legendary Times is published by the gods of LegendMUD. Please send all replies/additions to to our address at [email protected] for inclusion in the next edition. We, however, reserve the right to moderate this discussion, and may object to some submissions. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=